Song recommendation: "I know everything" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsdmtOYtxNk) || Is this the life I chose? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e8pLppCslg)
" You saved me!" Varseille burst into the great hall excitedly.
" You're awake?"Ace said dryly and leant back on one hand. In truth, Ace had forgotten about him entirely. He had been otherwise distracted over the past week.
"You saved my life!" Varseille went on. He knelt down in front of the throne at Ace's feet like an eager child.
Ace had gotten used to bowing by now. In Spite of his reservations, the members of the house of cups had not made any attempts on his life. At least not yet...
"So you've recovered?" Ace remarked indifferently.
"Yes! I'll be fine," Varseille smiled, "because of you..."
" Good, then you can go home, "
" Go home?" Varseille stared up apprehensively, " No, but I want to stay with you,"
"No," Ace looked down coldly, " Go home. I want to be by myself,"
At least as much as he could be by himself. He hadn't slept in days. Though he couldn't blame Varseille for that.
Varseille shook his head uncomprehendingly, "I don't understand. I thought you saved me because..."
"I saved you just to annoy Clover," Ace said with a sigh, "There was no greater meaning to it,"
"Even so," Varseille replied undeterred, "you saved me. That's all that matters,"
"You are so single-minded," Ace remarked impatiently.
"Perhaps," Varseille replied thoughtfully, "but that is only because you never leave my mind,"
"Shouldn't you mind being on other things? Such as the Empire who are now scouring the desert for my necklace? Or your revenge? " Ace elucidated disinterestedly. "Or maybe even your palace? If they think you're dead, it won't be long before someone else tries to take it,"
"It can wait," Varseille declared.
"Stand up," Ace commanded.
Varseille stood up and stared up eagerly. Ace descended the step down from the throne till they were eyes to eye.
"Varseille," he said quietly, "Listen to me carefully. I did not save you for the reason you think. I don't love you. I never will. Stop wasting your time. This is the last time I'm going to tell you,"
"I know why you saved me, Ace and it wasn't to annoy the demon lord of the west. I know the real reason," Varseille answered quickly.
Ace stared at him with a blank expression but Varseille was not deterred. He grabbed Ace's hand and brought it to his trembling lips.
"You saved me because I am Sena's brother, right?" he whispered.
Ace began to pull his hand away slowly, "stop it," he said lethargically.
Varseille continued to kiss his neck exuberantly. He pulled Ace by the waist closer and closer. Ace just stood still staring absently ahead as Varseille clung to him hungrily.
"Come upstairs with me," Varseille whispered feverishly, "let me thank you at least. I'll make you feel good,"
Ace stared down apathetically. The noise in his head was so loud he felt as though he could barely breathe. The room seemed to whirl around enclosing him. He needed it to be quiet for a while...
When the next Ace came back to his senses, he was lying in bed with Varseille at his side. He immediately turned to the wine bottle he kept at his bedside table and poured a glass. He let out a sigh as he swallowed the warm red liquid. It wasn't like the wine Clover drank. Who knows where Rinn had gotten it from? It tasted so bitter.
"You're awake?" Varseille said.
Ace could feel his eyes on him intensely.
"Looks like it," he said drily.
"I didn't know you drank?" Varseille asked inquisitively.
"Because I didn't see the point in telling you," Ace replied, taking another sip.
" I want to know everything about you," Varseille kissed Ace's shoulder. Ace just stared down with a deadpan gaze.
"With this, we're even," Ace said returning his gaze ahead, "don't ask me for anything else,"
"What do you mean?" Varseille's brow furrowed.
"Go home," Ace said flatly.
Varseille flew up angrily, "What do you mean go home?!"
Ace stared into the cup gingerly, "I wonder if this is how Clover felt," he said to himself.
Varseille's slapped the glass out of his hand, "What are you talking about them for when you're here with me?!"
Ace's eyes panned up from the red drenching the bed with an emotionless stare, "I wonder was my love as suffocating as yours?" he muttered.
"What are you saying?" Varseille glared at him irate, "Don't ever say their name again. Just forget about them. You don't get to send me away. I'm not going anywhere! You saved me, remember! "
"I saved you because of the memory of you used to be,"
"What are you talking about..." Varseille started in a subdued voice.
" Do you think I'm a fucking idiot?" Ace interrupted with a sigh.
"I don't know what you're..." Varseille looked down nervously.
"Sena," Ace said flatly, "Enough."
Varseille stared up wide eyed, "you... you knew?"
Ace didn't answer. He just stared down at the spilt wine impatiently.
"How? When?" Varseille stammered.
"I realised a while ago," Ace replied without looking at him. "I thought your attachment to me was weird from the start,"
" I didn't mean to lie!" Varseille began, "I just didn't know how to explain it. I never intended to leave you but I..."
" It doesn't matter," Ace interjected, "now we're even,"
"Then you only slept with me because..."
Ace sighed, "This was the only thing you didn't take from me and now I've given it to you willingly. I don't have anything else to give you now. I've paid you back for everything you did for me,"
"I never wanted..." Varseille let out an uneasy breath, "Do you really hate me this much? Are you trying to hurt me by saying these things?"
"I'm just telling you the truth," Ace replied, "I never said I hated you,"
" If that's how you feel, can't we start again? I really do love you. I don't want to be separated again! I thought you cared about me. You were so desperate to find me! You don't know how badly I wanted to tell you, but how could you love me now?"
"I did love you though, Sena. But never the way that you love me," Ace met his eyes with sadness, "I only thought of you like a brother. That's why I told you from the start I can't return your feelings but it wasn't enough for you. You just keep taking and taking and taking..."
"I...I'm sorry for everything I did. I really didn't mean it. You don't have to love me. Just say that you will forgive me at least! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me. " Sena held up his hands pleading." Please believe me! "
Ace stared down at him for a moment but eventually turned his face away, " I believe you," he said in a low voice.
"You do? Then you forgive me? "
"I know you're sorry but I can't forgive you."
"Why?! Just tell me what I can do. I'll do anything! "
"It's not something that I can control."
"Ace, please!"
"Begging won't change anything. I can't change how I feel just because you ask me, "
" Why not? Am I so bad? Why can't you forgive me? Isn't it just because you don't want to?!"
"Honestly?"Ace stared down coldly, " You're right. I don't want to. Why should I, Sena? Didn't you leave me behind?"
"Yes, but I had to! It was the only way to gain enough power to kill Terre Sol,"
"Then why didn't you come find me afterwards? "
" I..." Sena hesitated, "becoming a Demon took more from me than I thought it would. I was confused..."
"Were you confused when you locked me up? Or when you hit me?"
" You don't understand, I never wanted to do those things but I..."
" I know why you did it. But you didn't honestly expect that I would forgive you, did you? Otherwise, you would have told me the truth from the start,"
"I..." Sena became quiet. " I didn't want you to hate me. The real me. The me that loved you, not this thing that I've become,"
" And I don't. I don't hate you," Ace returned, " You think I don't understand these feelings that you have? I do. I know it better than anyone. Being a demon is like drowning in quicksand. The more you struggle, the more it pulls you down."
" It hurts so bad," Sena gripped his chest, "I do these things that I don't mean. I know that I shouldn't but this darkness just eats me up inside. And I hate it but I can't stop because, for every disgusting thing it does, it still makes me alive. It's this cycle I can't break! If I was like you, maybe I'd still be in control but it's too much,"
" I'm not in control of it. I've just stopped fighting it. The deeper I go, the more I realise how inevitable it all is. We never had a chance from the start. We were cursed from birth,"
Sena eyes widened tearfully
"But the thing is," Ace said gravely, "even if I can understand every little thing, I still can't forgive you. There are things we can't control that aren't worth crying over but you and I, all we had were each other. In this small dark world, we could have found a way through it but you chose not to do that. So it's not just that I don't want to forgive you. I refuse. If I didn't love you in the first place then maybe I could have let this go, but it was because I believed and trusted you more than anyone else that I absolutely cannot. And you... shouldn't even ask me to,"
"I know," Sena replied softly, "I know. I just... I don't want to alone be anymore,"
"It's too late. In exchange for my love, you chose power and revenge. You might as well take it,"
"So there's nothing I can do?"
"No, I just want you to go, "
Sena's head fell down dejected," Okay. I'll go,"
"Take Kali with you,"
"Okay, I will,"
There was silence. Sena came slowly to his feet and looked up at Ace once more. He swallowed hard.
"Leaving you behind was the worst mistake of my entire life. I'll regret it for as long as I live,"
Ace glanced up with a weak smile, " so will I."