*********************WARNING**********************************************************
This chapter contains content that some people may find distressing/sexual/self-harm references.
******************************************************************************************
Song recommendation: Sacrifice (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VubXnyQHfGY)
"What..have I..done this time?" Clover's voice trembled. "I didn't mean..."
They reached out to Ace, but he instinctively flinched. Ace immediately regretted it as Clover recoiled their hand. A pained expression came over their face, but it was soon replaced with melancholy resignation.
"I should heal you all," Clover said flatly.
Ace nodded still trembling, "I'll go get someone to help us,"
"Okay," Clover answered quietly.
For the next few hours, Ace watched Clover patiently heal the others. And even though his own pain was agonizing, Ace didn't say a word. Both Michael and Kalandra regained consciousness eventually.
Where Michael appeared resentful towards the effort, Kalandra seemed strangely remorseful. Bird wasn't badly injured and he returned to his room within the hour. Finally, Clover turned to Ace.
"Will you let me heal you?" Clover asked in a subdued voice.
"I'm fine," Ace replied shortly.
"You already forced me to heal them first even though you were the worst injured," Clover sighed, "Please don't be stubborn,"
"Do you really want to help me, Clover?" Ace asked flatly.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Clover looked down sadly.
"I don't need you to heal me. I need you to tell me what happened," Ace replied unwaveringly.
"I told you before," Clover answered reluctantly, " It's a struggle to keep in control all the time. One moment of weakness is all it takes. I'm sorry. I am, but I told you this would happen..."
"It was what the bone priestess said to you, wasn't it?" Ace asserted, "Whatever she said to you. You knew what it meant. It caused you to lose control,"
"If you know then why are you asking?" Clover said briskly, "I don't want to talk about it,"
"Just tell me what it meant!" Ace snapped.
Clover regarded him with forlorn eyes. However, without answering, Clover suddenly rose.
"If you change your mind about being healed, tell me," they said reservedly.
"Where are you going?" Ace followed after them.
The instant he attempted it, a shot of pain in his ribs prevented him. He doubled over with a groan. Clover turned back with a sigh. They picked Ace up in their arms. Ace immediately kicked back.
"What are you doing?!" he exclaimed, "Put me down right now!"
Clover ignored him and started walking. Ace's hand flung back. He intended for it just to be enough to cause Clover to drop him but to his surprise, but it connected. Clover made no attempt to dodge and simply remained staring ahead. Ace pulled back his hand startled.
"I didn't mean to do that," he blurted out frantically. "You just picked me up so suddenly...I didn't mean it...I didn't..."
"It's okay," Clover interceded, "If you're angry then hit me all you want,"
"I wasn't...I never wanted to hit you in the first place, " Ace exhaled with difficulty. In fact, just the first time had been the most difficult thing he had ever done.
"I know," Clover replied, "But I wish you would just hit me. Hit me even harder than last time. I'd happily let you beat me to death...if it got your anger out,"
Ace stared at Clover in disbelief, "Don't you ever say that to me again."
Clover didn't meet his eyes. They kept walking, completely devoid of any emotion on their face. Their cool resolve scared Ace. They meant it...
Finally, after walking for a time in silence. Clover set Ace down on his bed. Ace stared at Clover still disturbed by their words. Clover sat beside him and began to heal him without saying a word.
Ace began to feel the pain subside. When it was done, Clover remained sitting beside him without saying anything.
"We can't play our game anymore," Clover said at length.
"Are you scared you're going to lose?" Ace remarked sharply.
"Yes," Clover replied categorically. "I'm terribly afraid of that,"
Ace's brow furrowed, "What are you saying?"
"I should have sent you all back the moment you arrived," Clover added coolly. "I was a fool to think I could control it. I need to send you back before something worse happens,"
"As usual, you just do whatever you want," Ace turned angrily, "Do I have any choice in the matter?"
"No," Clover said softly.
"Why do you always do this?" Ace shook his head incredulously.
"I don't know," Clover's voice trembled slightly, "maybe it's a sickness,"
"No!" Ace argued, "This and that are not the same. You may not have control of your powers, but you do have control of times like this!"
"I know! I know," Clover threw their face into their palms.
"Then stop trying to run away by yourself," Ace said severely, "What did that woman mean? What did she say to you? This all happened because of that,"
"If you had just given me the necklace, this wouldn't have happened!" Clover slammed a fist against their head, "I need to die. I have to die!"
Ace immediately grabbed their wrists with some difficulty."STOP IT! Clover! Stop!!"
"Just let me do it. It will clear this useless mind of mine," Clover said shakily in defeat.
"Why are you doing that?! Why do you want to die? " Ace cried, "what is this really about?"
"Don't ask me any more questions," Clover faltered, "I need to keep my head clear,"
"It's too late for that!" Ace grabbed Clover by the collar. "Stop avoiding the question. What did she say to you? What did you do that's so bad that you want to die? Tell me why you want to die!!"
"I don't..." Clover answered, their voice barely a whisper.
"What did you just say?" Ace hesitated, "You... don't want to die?"
"It doesn't matter what I want," Clover said drily, "Nothing in this life is free. Everything comes with a price. It can't be bargained out of. It can't be fought. It can't be changed. This is just the way it has to be,"
"What did you do, Clover?" Ace faltered. "What could be so bad that you have to die? I don't understand,"
"You don't need to understand!" Clover snapped, "Just leave it be. Stay out of it! Just give me the necklace! No more games!"
"No!" Ace yelled back, "Why won't you answer?"
"You're driving me mad!" Clover screamed at the top of their voice.
"Good!" Ace screamed back, "Now you know how I feel!"
Each glared violently at the other. There was a tense silence. Ace's black eyes met Clover with wild resolve. And their scarlet eyes in turn regarded him fiercely. Neither said a word for several minutes.
"I've never met such a nosy, stubborn, indecisive brat as you in my whole life!" Clover declared finally.
Ace flew up from the bed enraged, "And I've never seen such a jaded self-involved old fool as you!"
"We don't suit each other at all," Clover scoffed.
"Not one bit," Ace returned.
"Then why aren't you leaving?" Clover said darkly.
"Why aren't you?" Ace countered.
Both lunged forward and met in a feral embrace. They kissed feverishly embroiled in each other's arms. In the wildness of the passion, they slammed against the wardrobe and then the bedside table as things smashed left and right.
Finally, they tumbled onto the bed in a frantic and feverish entwine.
"Last chance to run," Clover breathed.
"I'm not going anywhere," Ace answered defiantly.
Clover smirked, "I wouldn't have let you go anyway,"
Both fondled the other roughly and hungrily. The clothes went flying from either side between ecstatic moans and grunts. They remained in each other's embrace until nightfall. A wildfire, ravaging through the night ...
At early dawn, Clover collapsed on one side leaving Ace still panting. He glanced at Clover. For the first time all day, his mind felt clear. His eyes traced down from the sweat on their brow down their shoulder to the arch of their back.
"If you keep looking at me like that, I'll take it as an invitation," Clover smirked.
"I haven't even lost the game yet," Ace laughed, "Are you trying to kill me early?"
"Well your stamina isn't bad considering you're only human," Clover mused.
"I think there was a compliment somewhere in there," Ace smiled.
"Finally found a use for all those muscles," Clover teased.
"I'm not sure about that," Ace glanced down at the marks dotting his chest, "I don't think I'll be able to move for days,"
"Dramatic, as usual," Clover remarked, "then if you weren't trying to invite me, what were you trying to do?"
"I wasn't trying to do anything," Ace chuckled, "I was just thinking,"
"What were you thinking?" Clover leant across Ace's lap and stared up.
Once more, it was as if it was only them in their own world. There was no pain, no deception. A secret fold in time wherein they could, but for a moment, just be true. Somehow, in this way, they were able to reach each other when otherwise words seemed to fail.
It didn't just feel natural, it felt inescapable.
"I was thinking how beautiful you are," Ace confessed, "Isn't it a bit too unfair to be as beautiful as you?"
Clover smiled, "You know, I've heard that many times before."
"I'm sure you're very confident as a result," Ace smirked.
"I don't take my confidence from the words of others," Clover sniffed, "How many times have I heard 'Clover, you're so beautiful', 'Clover, I want to be with you', 'Clover, I love you'? This is actually the first time I believe it,"
"Why wouldn't you believe it before?" Ace put a hand to their cheek. "It's true,"
"In the end, all their sweet nothings were just that. They were nothing but empty words," Clover gave their usual placid smile.
Ace regarded them for a moment quietly, "Every time you force that smile, it makes me really sad, Clover,"
"I can't help it," Clover replied, "It's second nature,"
"I wonder where you go every time that smile appears," Ace said softly.
Clover watched him intently, "It's a place I don't want you to follow."
"But isn't it lonely to always have to go there by yourself?" Ace smiled sadly.
"The punishment fits the crime."
"What kind of crime warrants a life of loneliness?"
"After all the things you know I've done, you're much too generous towards me," Clover held Ace's hand to theirs and kissed it gently. "If only I had met you when I was younger. Ah, life is so unfair," they exhaled.
"Whatever you've done, Clover, I won't judge you. You know that right?" Ace said earnestly.
"I know," Clover answered with a melancholy smile.
"If you just tell me, I can help you," Ace implored, "Let me help you,"
"You can't," Clover met his eyes unflinchingly, "No one can."