Song recommendation: Do I want to know? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpOSxM0rNPM)
Ace was taken back by the sudden seriousness of the question. He looked up at Bird gravely.
"Is it that clear cut though, Bird?" he frowned. "I don't know exactly what happened with the Cirilian wizard but Michael was involved in Lune's death. Neither one is innocent,"
"No, it's not clear cut," Bird sighed, "but in the end whichever side you take it comes down to one thing. At one time, Michael and Clover were almost like family. Then they both hurt each other like only family can. I don't think either side is going to bend. It's become an eye for an eye at this point it seems.
Clover kills the Cirilian wizard. Then Michael kills Lune. Say we call it even. Is it over then? You hurt me and I hurt you. Does that mean we're not angry anymore? I mean look at me. Do you think I enjoy Michael's selfish little outbursts all the time? Of course not, but he's the only family I have. Before Michael, I had no one.
I was just another orphan in a tribe of orphans. I would have spent my whole life looking at the southern desert without even knowing where the sun goes when it sets on the other side. So yes, I hate him sometimes but if he died what would I have? I think it's the same for Michael. The Cirillian wizard, from what I understand, was an obsessive, paranoid bully but family is family, don't you think? it doesn't matter if they're alive or dead, the emotion -the connection is forever, "
"I wouldn't know, Bird," Ace gave a small smile, "I think if things were different. If...Sena and the others were still alive maybe I would feel differently."
"What about Albaric?" Bird leant on one hand.
"At one time, I thought Albaric was like family but now I can't even face him. I thought that things were finally changing for me, you know?
I actually thought I could have a real family back there. Like I was finally doing right, but the things I thought were right turned out to be wrong. The people I thought were good turned out to be bad. Or at least not what I expected.
I guess that's just how life is, in the end, there's no happy ending like in the storybooks. It's all very...anticlimactic. The only thing that makes it seem so urgent is the fact that people die. Then it's over completely, but what if it wasn't? Do you think people would still attribute so much value to the people who hurt them? Family or not?"
Bird listened intently and thoughtful expression took hold, "I used to think like you," he said at length, "but at some point, you decide who your family is and you make a commitment to do right by them. Sometimes it's not fun, I'll admit it but you weigh out whether it would hurt more to be without them,"
"And if a time comes when it would hurt less without them?"
"Then I don't know," Bird scratched his head, "but it's like losing a part of your body. If your leg hurts and you cut it off, does that mean the problem is solved? Yes, the pain is gone but you can't walk anymore,"
"Well if the leg pain makes you do really stupid things, maybe it's better if you can't walk,"
"Have we come on to a new topic?" Bird smiled knowingly.
"I'm sorry," Ace shook his head, "You didn't come here to listen to me talk about Clover again."
"It's better than listening to Michael complain," Bird sat up, "I suppose I should try and talk him round. Maybe you should go talk to that pain in your leg?"
Ace let out a whisper of a laugh. He had almost forgotten what it felt like to laugh. He nodded heartily as Bird left.
"You're right, Bird. Honestly, I'm sick of things going in circles. It's not going to change unless I do,"
Bird gave a bow, "At your service!"
For a moment, Ace stood in the doorway not sure where he should go. He ought to try asking Clover again, but he didn't feel like getting in the middle of their argument. Ace's eyes slowly were attracted back to the wardrobe. Would the necklace be safe here?
It would have to be, Ace decided. He set off down the staircase tracing a familiar route back down to the great hall. He was about to enter when he felt a strong aura of bloodlust. It had been a while since he had felt it so intensely. He turned in the direction of energy.
Just beyond the courtyard and the gates, he saw that same crowd of demons. Ace took off rapidly into the hall. It was empty again. Clover didn't seem to have taken any challenges since they arrived. Ace wondered what could be the reason.
Even in the demon world, there are certain laws. The law of challenge being the most famous. It was how seats in the palace were passed down. If a lord had no family, someone could steal their seat through a challenge. Though it didn't look as if any demon would be able to steal Clover's seat any time soon, it was still risky to outright refuse.
Ace stepped back outside the hall. Luckily, the aura from before was gone. It looked like they had finally left. Ace decided to go and check Clover's room. Yet when he arrived outside their door, he felt anxious. What would he say?
"Clover? Are you there?" Ace called.
There wasn't any answer. Ace let out a sigh. He continued his search for another half hour but it was as if Clover had disappeared completely. It wasn't an entirely new occurrence. Finally, Ace gave up and went back to the room.
He was ashamed to admit he was a bit relieved he didn't find Clover because he wasn't even sure what to say. What exactly did he expect from Clover at this point? No matter how many times he tried, things never worked out as he imagined. Now he was lying outright. Is this who he wanted to be? Is this what he had risked everything for?
He lay on his bed and tried to distract himself but every so often, his eyes would find their way back to the wardrobe. Why was that book hidden there? What clothes were in there?
Before he knew it, Ace was diving back into the musty recess and fishing out the book again. Ace lay back down on the bed and began to read. A particular inscription caught his attention and he started to read.
'I should want to leave. I know I should. How can I do this Keitel? What's wrong with me? This is why Michael called me a liar. But It's like I can't think straight anymore. I can't breathe.'
Ace sat up immediately. It couldn't be.
'...Why did I do that? I hate them so much. This anger, what should I do with it?'
Ace set down the book with start. It felt as though he had pried into a world he shouldn't have. His heart was racing but he couldn't stop himself, he read one more page.
'The more I read this book, the more I understand. About the demon world. About demonic magic. I thought only demons could have demonic magic, but that's not true. I tried it today. There is a way for humans to have the same power as demons. To be stronger than demons. Now that I have this book, I can finally take my revenge. You deserve this Clover.'
Ace felt a chill go down his spine. He closed the book and stared up at the ceiling. This room was her room. Her things were still here the whole time. It was like stepping back in time. Ace didn't know whether to feel angry and afraid. He had convinced himself that Clover didn't care about the Empress, that it had all been his misconstruction. This would suggest otherwise.
Meanwhile, he and Clover could barely agree on being friends. Was he a hypocrite for hanging onto a relationship that wasn't going anywhere? Well maybe it was going somewhere: A place Ace was afraid of, a place he had tried to escape from.
If Clover had been in the human world, what would have happened then? Would he have fought so hard to steal the necklace, break Albaric's trust and have wound up in an Empire prison?
Clover made him feel like it was okay to be himself. Every flawed and broken part could be on display and didn't matter. If they could see it all and accept him then maybe he could. Yet he couldn't shake the feeling that he was always out of his depth. It was just like Albaric said. He wasn't in control anymore.
But that wasn't just Clover's fault. It was his. He needed to be true to himself now more than ever.
Ace closed his eyes but the emotion kept him on the edge of consciousness. Hours passed and he still couldn't get to sleep. It was dark, at least as dark as it got in the demon world but he was still staring up at the ceiling.
Suddenly, he felt a sharp sting at his throat. Ace's eyes panned down apprehensively. His arms and legs were pinned down. A cloaked figure was straddling him. A blade glinted at his throat. Ace let out an uneasy breath.
"What do you want?" he breathed unhinged.
There was no answer. The figure leaned in close. For the first time, Ace was able to gleam their face from under the cover of shadow. The dagger pressed even closer to his skin as they leaned in.
Murderous amethyst eyes observed him coldly with a smile.
"Did you miss me ?"