Hearing her bluntly telling him she didn't see him that way, it was almost laughable. Alec looked at those honey coloured eyes that stared back at him. Although it reflected him, he suddenly felt dissatisfied by that. They looked at him with no feelings.
"Haa.." he let out a soft sigh before backing away from her.
So he still didn't have a spot in her heart after so long. He adjusted his coat before picking up the letter he had dropped before this.
"I'll send a letter back to Lady Isabella about declining the invitation."
Elenor nodded. Alec pursed his lips together, "Then I shall do that right away. Please excuse me." he said, bowed and took his leave, closing the door softly behind him.
He took in a deep breath and stared at nothing. Was it really worth it? Was it worth his time trying to pursue her? He knew how he said he wouldn't give up but he couldn't help and begin to overthink. Overthink about every little thing. Overthink about how no matter what he does, perhaps she will never come to like him.
He had no spot in her heart. To her, he was only someone she could trust- a friend. He wanted something more but if she doesn't even have a spot for him in her heart, how can that be possible? He's chasing for something that he could never reach.
After some time, he returned back to his work mode though his mind kept questioning everything he had been doing to chase after Elenor.
Maybe he should just keep her somewhere he only knows so she would only see him and nobody else. He would be in her eyes forever then.
Yes, maybe he will take her away, confine her, keep her locked up and take care of her everyday with love until she loves him. He'll chain her to him so she won't be able to leave his side.
She'll definitely love him back.
His pupils were dilated before snapping out of his thoughts and immediately pushed the thought away. A crease between his eyebrows formed as he shook his head.
No. If he ever did that, the light in her eyes would disappear and her smile would never come back. If he followed that train of thought, he would destroy Elenor to a point of no return.
He didn't want that. He wanted to see her smile and hear her laugh. If he wanted her to be happy, he mustn't ever follow that thought.
'A while longer' he promised to himself.
If nothing truly works, maybe he will give up on this fruitless love. Thinking like this, his heart throbbed painfully.
-
When Alec left the room, Elenor heaved out a sigh. It was hard for her to keep a strong front. Pretending as if she felt nothing when he got close to her, his breath tickling her skin. Thankfully he didn't hear nor feel how fast her heartbeat was.
Her gaze lingered at the door. She felt bad for saying those words. When she acted indifferent to his tactics, she nearly broke out of her act when she saw the subtle look he had in his eyes…
Quickly she shook her head trying to forget how his eyes held sadness for a split second. She shouldn't think about it. She was the one who did this although she didn't want to. Another sigh fell out of her lips. It was for the best but..
Elenor's eyes flickered. Was it truly for the best?
She knew these emotions so easily. The fast heartbeat, sweaty palms, red ears and cheeks. She knew all of these well. It was obvious.
She liked Alec.
Albeit, she does like him, she wasn't going to try pursuing it. It was only a small simple crush- a puppy love that will easily go away. Yes, she nodded to herself. This will go away. Just like how Alec's will as well.
Elenor got up from the couch and walked towards the desk. She pulled one of the drawers open and grabbed the only item that was inside it. She stared at it for a while before closing the drawer shut.
Today she will tell Lloyd about the sole heir for Baron Cullingford. If she waited any longer, she didn't know if she would still have the strength to do this.
She scoffed at herself as if she was mocking her own self. Deep in her heart, she still wanted Alec to be by her side no matter what.
She had no reason to feel like this. She was the one pushing him away. She was the one hurting him every single time. And she was the one who made him go through all this. Now, she should be the one to also set him free from these chains she had shackled on him.
'Ah... sometimes I wish it didn't have to be like this..I want to keep you by my side but if I do, you will fall prey to danger just like me..it's better to have one person in danger than two.' she thought to herself sadly as she gazed upon the pocket watch.
At this moment, she truly never hated herself more until now. She was merely a coward with a strong front act. Even so, she hoped Alec would understand her actions. She is a coward who still wanted to try protecting people she cared about.
Elenor left the manor while Alec was busy. She was sure he was trying to busy himself at the moment anyway. Without any maid or servant following her, she hopped in a carriage and headed to the palace.
'I didn't tell beforehand..oh well this is revenge for always coming to my place uninvited.'
She thanked the coachman who brought her here and headed inside the palace with ease. The knights who were guarding the gates nodded over at her, already used to her presence as she often came here.
She knew this place like the back of her hand all because of Lloyd. She made her way over to where Lloyd would be in right now which was his office.
Elenor knocked on the door. She heard him mutter a "come in." so without hesitation she opened the door.
Lloyd who was drowning in paperwork looked up with shock written on his face. Elenor couldn't help but let out a soft snort at the ridiculous face.
"Elenor? What are you doing here?" he asked, still surprised by her visit but wasn't displeased at all.
"I came to talk to you about something," she glanced at the people in the room before adding on, "Privately."
Understanding what she meant, Lloyd dismissed the people in the room which only left the two of them alone. Elenor took a seat at the couch in the room and not long after Lloyd too sat down opposite her.
"How rare of you to visit me without a notice." he slyly grinned but she could tell his mood improved from her surprised visit.
She smugly smiled before beginning to do what she came here for. She placed down the pocket watch on the table and pushed it towards Lloyd. He raised an eyebrow at it before picking it up and examining it.
Before he could even question her, she spoke first, "Remember when I asked about whether a fallen household would be able to come back if the sole heir was found and confirmed?"
Lloyd nodded, "Somewhere along those lines..yes."
She smiled and pointed at the pocket watch he was now holding, "That pocket watch is the proof for the sole heir of the Baron Cullingford's household."
Lloyd widened his eyes before checking inside to confirm what Elenor had said was true. He noticed the name engravings on it.
"..This watch is a one of a kind, no watchmakers can recreate this anymore." he muttered, his voice mixed with surprise.
He looked back up at Elenor and chuckled. Closing the watch shut, he slid it back to Elenor, "Since you have proof, who is the sole heir?"
Elenor closed her eyes. She can't go back now.
Elenor rested her chin in the palm of her hand, fluttering her eyes open before she answered to him, "Alec. Alec Cullingford."