When I suddenly begin to think of an incident ten years back, it seems like time has passed so fast. Of course, the brain never took into account the whole of those painful ten years but only that one horrible event that happened years back, that's why I got tricked into the whole 'time is fast' bullshit. But what can I do? Things worth forgetting are not forgetful.
This morning, I began to visit all of my old workplaces to invoke nostalgia. Nostalgia is a strange emotion. Things that you didn't really pay attention to or even horrible things that happened to you, all come back to generate a great feeling. I went to my old office and began to look at the files, the papers all scattered here and there, and the small window which was sometimes luminous enough to light up the entire room. When I begin to think of old things, his voice springs up like a rabbit. I restrain myself but end up following the rabbit into a total abyss of my strange past.
"Ben", he said and looked at me for the last time.
"It will be alright, Sam", the words of assurance from me, a human being, not even in control of his own fate. I knew this but couldn't stop staring at his green eyes filled up with tears. His face had gone red and his curly hair danced in the wind. This wouldn't have happened if we didn't have this crazy idea of visiting Zuschter.
Ten years ago, Sam and I joined the writing staff of 'Ceremonial', a gossip magazine that covered everything under the sun as long as the news was interesting and juicy. We did everything. From celebrity relationships to weird people doing weird things to small poems that we wrote but pretended that they were written by rape victims.
Mrs. Alex Weasley was the head of the editorial staff and she run the magazine along with her husband, Daniel Palladino. Both could be constantly found in the corridors walking, either having an argument or pulling each others' legs.
"Let's write the headline some other way. This won't be catchy enough", Mrs. Weasley spoke in a stern voice. While she was generally an amicable lady, she was tough at work. She would constantly make weird fart jokes in between and then suddenly turn serious and eloquent; something that me and Sam took some time adjusting to. She was in her mid 50's and almost always wore a magician's hat and a pearl necklace around the thick folds of skin that almost made it seem like her neck was non existent.
"And please keep searching for new stories. I really don't think we are keeping up to our quality in the last few editions", Mrs. Weasley stopped as she saw Mr. Palladino signaling her to come out.
Mr. Palladino was a lean guy, always well dressed and neat, but an inherent sadness hung on his face all the time. He was the head of the accounts department and never really interfered in the creative space but would pass by, time to time, giving his suggestions or advices to us young people.
"Too much pizza is like a very heated argument in the night. You are gonna have serious problems the next morning", Sam said. Sam was the type of guy who got really affected about what people thought about him, but never really affected him because he always thought the wrong thing about what people might be thinking about him.
"Not such a good day at the toilet?", I asked.
"No, man. I shouldn't have had ten pizzas".
"How could you even gobble up ten pizzas?"
"I was talking to this old friend and we were eating. And I just ate them".
"Wait, why did you order so much when it was only the two of you?"
"You forget things, don't you? It was at the party and Martin and I just began having this deep conversation and deep cheese pizza".
"Wait. You met Martin last week itself. How's he an old friend?"
"But he's fucking sixty, man. So gonna call him my old friend".
It was a sunny afternoon. In lunch breaks, we used to stroll in the corridors just engaging in 'deep' talks like this. But that day, he had specifically called me for a stroll after the lunch. Not that I had any other plans or ever took an after-lunch stroll without him, but it meant that he had something to say.
"I have an uncle staying in Zuschter," Sam began speaking,"We might get a good story there for the magazine".
"What's the story?"
"Apeisynthecoid".
He spoke that damn word so nonchalantly as if I have it for breakfast every morning.
"What's that?"
"The city of Zuschter is quite a weird one, you know".
"Isn't the hacker Mr. XY from there?".
"Yup that place. That city worships this organism, Apeisynthecoid, which according to some bio theorists, might be one of the largest organisms on earth but is transparent".
"Transparent? So was it found somewhere?"
"Many witnesses say that they have felt it in different parts of the city. One of the main witnesses", he takes out his phone and shows me a picture of a rusty, old Japanese man,"Mr. Hayato, died recently. Which people say is due to the curse of the organism".
"It's all bullshit, ain't it?"
"And guess what do people print here?".
We exchanged half smiles. Later that day, we would go to his girlfriend Nina's place to chill out. I could say everytime I came with Sam to her place, she prayed some incurable, interdimensional curse to me. And it was understandable because technically, I was Sam's girlfriend.
Nina was in her mid 20's and had a great body. Even though she was always smiling, her emotions and thoughts inside, were quite lucid and evident on her face.
"No pizza. I will have something else", Sam made it clear.
"Ben, do you want something?"
"A beer, if you have it."
"Sure."
I could never tell if they were happy with each other. I mean, no-one was forcing them to be together. But sometimes, we are our own jails. I never asked Sam about his relationship and he never actually brought it up. But there was always a strange, eerie silence between them. Or maybe it was always infront of me. I don't know.
"Here", she passed us beers. As I drank the beer, I couldn't help but notice her silky long hair, shining in the sunshine. I would lie if I say I didn't have a crush on her. Well, a girl as beautiful as her, won't even come near me, as long as she's my friend's girlfriend.
"Ben, we have to tell Daniel about this shit", Sam said.
"Tomorrow."
"No, let's tell him tonight".
"What are you guys talking about?", Nina chimed in.
We talked till it was eight in the evening, and I left them there and walked to my home. I felt a little strange that day. Sam had never told me about this uncle from Zuschter. He never even told his name. Not that I know everything about Sam but I still felt suspicious.
He must have spent the night at Nina's because he was glowing with immense happiness the next morning.
"Had great dinner last night , eh?", I enquired.
He smiled and nodded. I smiled. As they say, great minds think alike.
We did talk to Mrs. Weasley and Mr. Palladino about the story. Palladino had already heard something about Zuschter so he agreed and paid us for the trip. They never used to pay for the work trips before, but now when their magazine was in potential danger, they took extra efforts to ensure that there is no dearth of good stories.
"We should go next morning", Sam suggested,"have some work tonight".
Dirty pig, I could already see an iceberg of lust floating in his green eyes.
I was single at that time, so I decided to go clubbing. Nowadays, they have dating apps for lazy motherfuckers. But back then, you literally had to do the work.
"There are two conditions for women to like you", Gilbert, my classmate proclaimed,"looks and money OR too much money", he said and sipped his beer.
I don't really have an affinity to hang out with Gilbert but he was the only one available. He was a tall black guy with long hair and yellow specs on. The notes of our horniness were in symphony that night so we hopped from one pub to another, you know, checking out the birds.
"You know being single is also not bad", I said. The grapes weren't only sour, they were completely absent for me.
"Why do you want girls, actually?"
"Not into guys. "
"I know that. But what do you have in yourself? Hunger or thirst?"
"What do you mean?"
Ofcourse, he meant what he said. I nodded, smiled and winked at him.
That night, I visited a brothel for the very first time. I was kinda nervous, seeing semi naked women popping out from here and there. But Gilbert seemed like he was at home.
He confidently walked through the crowd, even hugging some of the prostitutes. This man was living his life to the fullest. We take the stairs upwards and entered a more decent area, which seemed like an office space. We entered one of the cabins. A fat guy with black goggles sat on the chair, solving some maths on his copy.
"What's up, Mathew? Remember me?", George spoke.
"Yup. No see, these days, huh?"
"Well, here I am. Show us some good stuff".
In a couple of minutes, we were assigned our rooms. I was a virgin back then. I remember my heart pounding fast, as if to get out of the body. The door knob was cold and I took a long time opening the door. Gilbert had already gone into his assigned room. Anyhow, I entered the room. The prostitute sat beside the large glass window with her back towards me, covering her naked body with the large window curtain. She looked at me and my body froze.
"Nina?".
She was shocked herself and covered herself even more. Thoughts bombarded on my brain as if it was Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The first of all thoughts was of my money drowning in a pool of righteousness and stupidity. As we looked at each other, I thought of asking about this but stepped back. I knew the questions were much more stronger than what her answers could have been.
I passed her coat, which was hung on the hanger, to her. I looked away as she wore the coat. My head was spinning so I immediately decided to leave. As I rushed towards the door, a strong voice came from the back.
"Keep it a secret, won't you?".