"You said they were summoning a demon?" Director Carlyle asks after Bernard got a hold of him on a satellite phone, being told a few short and quiet sentences before the phone was passed to me.
"Well, there are these evolved lizards and Poniard wanted one but instead of catching it alive he killed it," I say uncertainly. "Now, he and the bird are going to use necromancy to bring it back but they're going to make it… smaller? I don't know, but it's not going to be the same lizard. I just wanted to call and see what the rules and regulations are for something I have no control over anymore."
Director Carlyle was quiet for several long moments before finally saying, "Has anybody ever told you how much of a headache you are? Every other day its something new. The laws on necromancy are screwy, you can't bring something to life that didn't come from a portal and summons with longevity require access to a locked building all to themselves. If not for the bird I would just tell your goblin to fuck off as far as possible on this one."
"If it was up to me I would just teach it to ride a bike like a kid until it evolves and then catch it something," I find myself agreeing, unsure of how the city would feel about necromancy. It was hard enough being zoned for a small and growing facility on the city limits. "With the pay from this mission and all the extras I can expand the property and put another building on it."
I could almost hear the man rolling his eyes as he replied with, "Well of course you will, it's not like you can just take the damn thing home with you. I'll have someone set things in motion for real estate acquisition and deal with the city council. Yours is a respectable and honest business that raises the safety of the metropolitan area as a reserve portal response unit, telling you no will only hurt their taxpayers."
"On the bright side, I am currently in possession of about ten trainable kobolds and an adult evolution," I reply conversationally, thinking of the goblin conversation we had the other day. "If I am right, these guys would be better suited for the types of units you were wanting. They don't need to evolve to breed so they can perpetuate themselves better than goblins, they have litters instead of one or two babies, and their second stage strengths are equal to ogres. The adult learned its first word with the first thing I fed it, as well."
The director was quiet again for a minute but this time I could here the opening and closing of drawers as well as the shuffling of paper. Finally, he says, "Now that you mention it, of the three main subhuman types kobolds did have the highest combat potential to intelligence ratios, and canine loyalty makes them slightly more reliable than the others. Goblins, though, won out on accessibility and orcs… well, orcs are orcs."
"So we'll move forward with D grade kobolds to start?" I ask curiously, hoping how much money I could make from this alone. "How many did you think you would need to start out with?"
"How many- you have ten? Start there," Director Carlyle says irritably. "This isn't some kind of private sector contract, this is the American government. We don't tell you how much we need, we tell you when to stop sending. Three weeks, like the goblins?"
"I can give you all of them but the adult, and about that long," I reply while counting days on one hand. "My current goblins will be picked up in another day or two, so I can focus most of my attention on the kobolds during my vacation. The adult is going to stick around with me for breeding purposes, like the hobs. I'll train her and she'll train her litters."
"Perpetuating soldiers, get it done," the director says in an almost agreeable manner before hanging up on me.
Walking back to where Bernard and Lucinda were waiting, I give the phone back to Bernard before saying, "We're going to expand my property in order to house the demon. Bernard, if you're really buying a goblin then I'll need the money up front and it will take about a month because the director wants these kobolds. However, you'll still retain priority over the other contracts should a goblin with magic appear in my inventory."
"Sounds good," Bernard says with an odd lack of care. With his C grade sense he probably heard my entire conversation and knew I was working on a Bureau training contract. Getting in good with the Bureau before training his goblin probably only meant his goblin would come out better from the benefits.
Lucinda, on the other hand, did not seem as content to just let things go. "That's it?" She asks in a quiet but dramatic fashion. "We're breaking laws that restrict big clans and guilds just because your goblin and that bird want to have fun?"
"That bird is a clan or guild," I argue flatly. "It's a being of pure mana with a psychic affinity and there's not doubt in my mind that pretentious woodpecker is S grade. If he gets pissed off on our side of the portals, there goes a city. When the bird latched on to me, the director and his director buddies had it show them its strength. It used telekinesis to finish the logging of a circle that was nearly nine hundred yards in circumference, PICK IT ALL UP, and place it neatly awaiting transport. He can pick up that twenty-story downtown building and drop it on its head WITH HIS MIND. You go over there and tell them no!"
For a moment, Lucinda actually looked like she was about to storm off toward where Si-Pon and Poniard were working with fire and a large glob of molten rock in the air between them. After taking three steps, though, she turned right back around and said, "You know what? Why should I care? It's not coming home with us or anything and you even said they were going to make it smaller."
I wanted to tell her that I thought as much, but instead I could only give her a helpless smile and shrug before walking back over to the kobold. Since I had plenty of spare time on my hands at the moment, I decided to until the kobold from the tree and work on 'bonding' by taking them for a walk. Literally.
While waiting on Si-Pon and Poniard to finish their project I led the kobold by its currently short walk across the landscape in the direction of the watering hole where the rescue team had made camp. They had already cleaned their camp up when they left but it still made for a good destination. There were currently a few small flocks of different birds both Earth and portal based as well as a number of small animals around the crater.
I could tell from the kobold's twitches and slight pulls in this or that direction that they wanted to chase one of the other creatures. However, I was not yet ready to let the kobold off of its leash yet. Instead. We walked up to the top edge of the broad and shallow crater to look out over the still and brackish water.
"Sit," I say quietly and simply, earning a wary look from the kobold. However, since the last time I spoke to it I had given it a heart it did not have any other reactions. Then, I pointed at the ground beside me and said, "Sit," once again. Looking around the ground as if in search of what I was trying to indicate, the kobold steps forward to stand beside me but that was it.
Originally I had kind of planned on stepping on the back f its knee to make it kneel and then make it sit by hand before emphasizing the word, but it had been compliant to the point of almost being eager. The kobold was definitely afraid of me and wanted to avoid upsetting me which honestly made me feel bad. So, I sat down on the ground and said, "Sit!"
The kobold immediately dropped down on its haunches in a kobold sitting position and just stared straight ahead. Staring out over the large pond as well, I find myself wondering if I should name the kobold. The hobs on the property did not have proper names despite having proper roles and I had no idea what to name a kobold.
Remembering how Poniard had been named after the first high value offer I received for him, I start searching about under my armor and in my combat suit for my phone. Taking off a combat suit gauntlet once I retrieved it, I stand up and back away to the end of the rope before taking a picture of the kobold. Even though its ears swiveled toward me and its tail flicked with uncertainty, it never moved from its position.
Posting the kobold picture on my business site, I write a post about a training expedition in an undisclosed territory and capturing this kobold. Calling myself an amateur in the way of my own business I asked what kind of offers my customers and general spectators would offer for her. Before I even sat back down somebody commented thirty pounds of D grade scrap for the kobold 'as is'.
At D grade, thirty pounds of scrap steel was between twenty and thirty thousand dollars on an open market. However, all of the equipment Poniard and I used was C grade. The equipment I planned to give out with my products were same grade, though, so thirty pounds of D could easily make a hundred pounds of E.
By the time the I taught the kobold what 'stand' was before we left, I had received two more 'offers' of similar values. However, one fellow tried to be witty by offering a D grade solid steel glaive with the message 'a kobold weapon for a kobold'. That was what I was looking for.
I bought the forty-pound polearm then and there for fencing goblin contract and closed the bidding. Then, while we were about thirty yards away from the crater, I pointed out a large six-armed portal squirrel to the kobold before loosening the rope on its wrists. The kobold just stood there and stared at me for a moment until I pointed at the critter a second time.
"Fetch," I say simply as it turned and sprinted forward into an all-fours loping run. The kobold reached the portal squirrel in about ten seconds with only two seconds of actual chasing before the kobold pounced. The claws of both hands sank into the critter's body and scooped it up off of the ground.
Then, just as the kobold was about to rip the giant rodent apart, I yelled out, "Sit!"
Of course the kobold did not actually sit, but it stopped everything and its legs started to tremble as its once high and wagging tail dropped in an instant. When it slowly looked over to me, I simply pointed at the creature impaled on its clawed fingers and gestured for it to come while saying, "Fetch!" looking almost mournfully down at the portal squirrel it had managed to catch, the kobold begrudgingly starts drudging forward while dragging its feet almost pitifully.
The fact that I had even snapped it out of its kill instinct was more than I had hoped for, but so far things were going downright splendidly. When the kobold finally arrived it seemed to stare at me in the eyes through my visor for a long time. If I had to guess its thoughts then I would say the kobold was considering its chances of escaping from me alone.
However, it quickly came to its senses and sheepishly hung its head while holding out the dead animal to me. Taking the dead portal squirrel, I reach out to push the kobold's snout up so that it is looking at me. Then, pointing to myself, I say, "Sifu Malcolm."
Getting the kobold to attempt saying my title only took a few tries, but the cough-like words that came out of its bestial face sounded like 'sifuh muckum'. When the best I could get after a few more tries was 'sifu mackum', I pointed to it and said, "Glaive. Glaive, Glaive, Glaive, G-l-ay-v." this time, I let it watch me pronounce each sound as I spoke it with a wide open mouth.
Finally, after nearly a minute of careful listening and partial attempts, Glaive actually manages to say, "Glivuh."
"As long as you know your name, I don't care anymore," I say tiredly after that one attempt, tossing the bloody animal to Glaive before turning and walking away. "Come, Glaive!" the kobold obediently followed along behind me while tearing into the dead animal.
By the time we came back within view of Poniard and Si-Pon's project, the other serpent bodies were gutted and circled around Poniard's chosen serpent while an all too familiar dark and purplish mana filled the air with crackling bolts of light that converged on a small orb in Poniard's hand. The orb looked like it was quartz and was probably a synthetic mana crystal that Si-Pon made for Poniard. Now, they were filling the mana orb with death energy.
Glaive was evidently terrified of this because she refused to approach, instead pulling against the rope I had retied her with and whining in the direction of Lucinda and Bernard. Since I was not supposed to be near the project, anyway, I simply led the kobold over to the pine tree I had tied it to previously. This time, though, I simply gave it a meaningful look and growl before untying it once more.
Following close behind me, Glaive waits until I stop by Lucinda and Bernard before sitting down of her own accord. Glancing back at the kobold that was behaving like a normal house pet, Bernard says, "What the hell did you do to her? Earlier she was testing the ropes with her teeth and now this female dog is actually your bitch."
"Took her for a walk, taught her some words, made sure she was full by making her hunt a rabbit, and then named her," I reply casually, as if I was simply there to enjoy the show and nothing more. "I don't get how people can think they're so dumb and that training them is so hard, you just need to impress them a few times and then treat them like any other stray animal. For me, anyway."
Taking a partial step back and to the side to get closer to Glaive, Bernard looks over to find himself looking down at the silently bared teeth of my newest familiar. "Yeah, it's just you. I'm C grade and she doesn't look like that bothers her at all right now. She'd attack if you weren't here."
"And that's why I let the kobold leader watch me fight the big bad dragon lizards," I inform him with a smiling voice, looking over my shoulder at Glaive who quickly closes her lips and looks straight ahead instead of up at Bernard's helmeted face. "Poniard watched me fight his ogre by myself and use five different weapons on him. He still has to stone axes I almost decapitated the ogre with.
"The other goblins all watched me beat down their hobs and tie them up one at a time," I go on proudly, feeling like the director. "I beat this kobold in unarmed combat in front of the other kobolds and then let it watch the same show you guys got to see. I would not trust it enough to sleep under its protection, yet, but it won't be long."
"He slept in the same room as the goblin with only its hands tied together and leashed to the wall for three or four nights before he let it sleep without a tether," Lucinda chimes in with a grumbling voice. "The only thing impressive about it is that he's still alive, though. I've got no idea where that smug attitude is coming from."
*