My eyelids move apart and my vision is blurry like before but this time, I feel like I'm being moved. My body is laid down in a bed and it feels like I'm being rolled on a wheel. I look around me, trying to get a glimpse of where I am and it's all white and glass with a lot of doors.
I look at a closer view at my side and I see people dressed in blue gowns and surgical masks. All I can hear is; "hurry up" and Sophia's voice saying something. I feel forces on my wrists and at my left, it's Katelyn's hand and my right, it's Sophia's hands.
Next thing I hear is a male voice; "Theresa hold on, you'll be alright." My head is hurting so bad and I can't seem to wrap my mind around what's happening. In a few seconds, my eyelids shut again. Still conscious but I feel very weak. I am finally rolled into a room with so much equipments and I feel a very light sting, like a syringe and I slowly lose my consciousness
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My eyes open again, this time, it's like I've been asleep for hours. My head hurts and there is a mechanical ventilation pipe in my mouth and I can feel it in me.
"She's awake!!" Someone screams and doctors come rushing into the room.
I see Sophia and my mom at the door trying to get in but the doctor is stopping them.
"We have some checking to do. Please wait outside for us." the doctor says and shuts the door.
They take some blood and switch me to oxygen mask and then leave the room.
Sophia walks in
"Hey" I say, trying to lift my body from the bed as I take off my oxygen mask.
Sophia gently places me down on the bed, "Hey hey hey, relax, don't sit up and don't take off your oxygen mask"
The door pushes open, "hey honey" I turn my head to see my mom "your dad couldn't make it, he had to take care of something. How are you feeling?"
"I feel really sore" I say.
I can't see Katelyn around and she's the only person I wanna see right now besides Sophia. "Where's Katelyn?" I ask.
"Uhm..mom I think this is a question for you" Sophia says and steps back
I face my mom, "What? What does she mean?"
"Honey I asked Katelyn to go back home. She's just 17. She can't be in another country with strangers and I wants us to have a family time"
I look at my mom and for some reason I just feel like I hate her right now. "Wow. Just wow. If you cared about me at all, you would not have done that. She has been my family for this past month."
"Sweetie I'm sorry. I want to apologize for everything."
I take my moms hands off mine "Firstly, stop calling me honey or sweetie or whatever and please I need to rest my body hurts. Leave." I say.
"Theresa I know I've not been the best mother but I want to change that" my mom says.
"Not that you've not been the best mother. You've not been the best mother to ME. You've been the perfect mother to Sophia so don't think you're a bad mom."
It's the first time I'm ever talking about this to my mom. The conversation is really intense and I'm struggling to tear apart my lips to talk. My head hurts so much and I'm really weak. My voice is really low and not clear.
"It's more complicated that you think"
Hearing my mom say that just brought tears to my eyes very quickly.
"Complicated? Are you being serious right now? Okay just tell me what the hell is complicated about loving your child mom. Why?!! Is there something wrong with me? Why don't you love me?"
"I love you more than you think"
I hear a loud beeping sound from one of the machine beside me. My head starts to bang and my hearing becomes bad. Sophia and my mom look scared. I feel a strong ache in the back of my head. The doctor rushes in and I just feel weaker by the second.
"Clear the room" The doctors says out loud. I just close my eyes and wait for it to be over.
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The doctor finally walks out of the room "Please she doesn't need to be having stressful conversations right now. She just started recovering and saying or doing something that'd cause her to think heavily or feel pressured emotions is really bad for her now" Dr. Ashton says to my mom and Sophia.
My mom and Sophia walks in.
"Please I want to speak to Sophia alone" I demand
"Okay then" my mom walks out of the room.
Sophia comes close to me, "Theresa I know how you feel and how hard it is for you to forgive mom but maybe she's actually sorry."
"I don't want to talk about her right now please. I need to talk about something that'd make me smile." I say
"Okay ma'am. By the way, you look really horrible as a patient" Sophia says and we both laugh.
"Yeah I can't wait to get out of this mess. So when did Katelyn leave?" I ask.
"She left yesterday noon"
"Wait? How long have I been here for?"
"After you passed out in the plane, we got here on Monday around 7pm. Then your surgery took approximately 13 hours and you were in a short coma for 2days since then until you woke up today"
"Well damn. I feel like I've been here for just 2 hours" I say.
"Doctors said you passed out on your way here because you were under a lot of stress and you had some heavy thinking going on. I guess that's all my fault. I shouldn't have started the conversation I started at home. Maybe that was what you were thinking about. I'm sorry it's all my fault" Sophia starts to apologize for what I definitely do not think is her fault.
I hold her hand, "Hey hey it's no one's fault. Well we could blame it on the little dude that grew inside my head" I say and we both laugh.
Sophia pulls out her phone. "And yeah, before I forget, Katelyn asked me to call her once you woke up" she says as she dials Katelyn's number.
For some reason I feel nervous. What do u say when I'm speaking to her. Do I apologize for my mom telling her to leave Singapore? Oh my I don't know what to do right now.
Sophia hands me the phone, "here, Katelyn's on the line."
"Hello?" Katelyn says over the phone and hearing her voice makes me so happy.
"Hey Katelyn"
"Hey Theresa. How are you doing?"
"Sore as hell. Everything hurts."
"Sorry, just rest well and take the medications given to you." Katelyn says in a really caring tone
"Yes of course ma'am. I miss you Kate"
"Don't worry, I'll be waiting for you at the airport with chocolate and roses when you get back" Katelyn says
"Ughh! My stomach is starting to hurt from how cheesy and cliche that is" I say
"Well I don't care. I'm gonna do it. Anyways I got go. Bye!" Katelyn says and hangs up the phone.
I hand over the phone back to Sophia. "When do you think I'm gonna be discharged from here?" I ask because I really really want to leave this place.
"In like two weeks. Dr. Ashton said they have to make sure that you're okay before you can get discharged." Sophia says.
Sophia and I had a really long conversation then she left the room and she and my mom went back to the hotel they're staying in. It's like 7pm already and I'm so bored, wondering what I'd do alone in the room till I fall asleep.
A young black nurse looking around the age of 24 and 25 walks in. She average-heighten, she's slim but she has hips and a very curvy shape and her melanin skin is definitely glowing.
"Hi miss. Is there anything you need?" She asks
"No. Not really"
As the nurse turns her back to leave the room, I realize that I might need something.
"Uhm..wait." I say and the nurse turns around. "Could you get me a sketch pad, pencil and some crayons?"
"Yes of course dear" the nurse smiles
"Wait so you guys actually keep drawing materials in the hospital?" I ask
"Yeah we have drawing materials, jump ropes, board games and some other things to keep out patients busy." She says. I nod my head and she exits the room.
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I hear the door knob twist and I look to see that it's the nurse with a sketch pad and a pencil.
"Girl, I couldn't find crayons" she laughs.
I take the sketch pad and pencil from her. "Thanks ma'am"
"No need to thank me, I'm a nurse. It's my job. And don't call me ma'am please my name is Selena." she says.
"I'm Theresa. Why did you come to check on me by the way?" I ask.
"I was walking by and I saw you looking lost then I decided to walk in. The truth is..I kinda overheard your conversation with your mom."
I start to feel a little bit triggered by what Selena just said. "Please I don't want to talk about it and were you eavesdropping?" I ask.
"I wasn't eavesdropping. I was setting up something outside the room next door. I stay with a patient there and the door of your room was opened so I heard almost everything." Selena says and pauses for a second, sits closer to me then continues;
"Look, Theresa I know you don't know me and I don't know you but I want you to know something. Growing up, I always hated my mom for not giving me enough attention and not caring about my feelings but when I reached 19 years old, I found out she had her reason. Listen, if there is no reason for what ever is going in between you and your mom right now then you have every right to be angry. Now I'm 21 years old. I have a good relationship with my mom and I'm working as a physical therapist and kind of a nurse in this hospital. I would say my life pretty much turned out the way I wante—"
A woman from the next room interrupts Selena as she shouts; "Help! She just fell in the bathroom."
Selena immediately rushed out to attend to her customer or patient or whatever. Her words sure did enter my heart.
I sketched for about 45 minutes, my eyes started to feel heavy and I fell asleep.