The cold breeze gently caresses my cheeks and Katelyn drives the car at a good amount of speed. The view from every angle is beautiful and it gives a very calm feelings. My left hand is intertwined with Katelyn's right hand.
I smile. "You know my mum used to take me on a road trip when I was younger. Sophia would always puke because she was always road sick. It was fun."
Sometimes it feels like life gives us our fair share of happiness at some point in our lives and then takes it away from us overnight.
"I used to go on road trips with my ex best friend, Kayla." Katelyn says.
I look stunned, "you never told me about her."
"I don't like to talk about. I'm sorry I brought her up, let's just end it here."
"Okay."
*
*
*
We spent all day talking about a lot and we reached our destination and had a picnic. Then she dropped me off at home and drove home.
I pull the door open. "How was your day?" Sophia asks.
"It was fun. I'm tired and I'm going to sleep." I stroll upstairs to my room.
I hear a knock on my room door. "Come in Soph" I sigh.
She comes in. "Theresa, what's up with you lately? And before you say you're fine I can see that you're not fine. You came home from school one day with your hair dyed, you're always wearing baggy clothes and you barely eat anything in a day. I need you to tell me what's going on please. I care." I hear so much love in Sophia's words but I wish it was that easy.
I move closer to her. "Sophia I told you I'm fine so please leave me I need to rest."
"Okay then. Just know you can talk to me anytime."
"Yes you've said that like a million times, now leave." I say and I feel bad about talking to Sophia that way but I need space.
"Sorry. Goodnight." Sophia says as she shuts the door.
I feel super tired so I go to bed.
*
*
*
"Theresa! You're taking forever" Sophia screams from downstairs. I quickly tie my scarf around my neck and grab my Bible that walk downstairs.
"Do we really have to go to church today." I ask.
"God is the reason you're alive today. You have to thank him at least." Sophia says and we both enter her car.
We get to church and walking in, I feel different at the same time I feel weird.
"I need you to talk to God. Don't ask him for anything. Just thank him and talk to him about everything. He listens." The pastor's voice over the speaker says.
I never really believed in God. I believed but I mean if he could watch his child go through all that I've been through then maybe me doesn't love me. But today I feel different. I go on my knees and join my palms together.
"Dear God, it's me, your daughter. I firstly want to apologize for not talking to you in the past and only coming to you when I need something. Then I want to thank you Lord, I want to thank you for giving strength. Yes I'm weak but I know that when I call upon your name I am given strength. I want to thank you for sending an Angel, Katelyn to save me from the strong darkness I was in. I want to thank you for loving me despite the fact that I don't deserve it. Lord I know some days I'm weak and I'm exhausted and all I want to ask you for this morning is more strength. Please Lord make me stronger. I believe in you and your word...."
*
*
*
"Did you like the church service" Sophia asks as she drives us home.
"Yes it was okay."
We got home and I laid in my bed all day texting Katelyn till I fell asleep. Tomorrow is Monday again ughh!!
*
*
--
I haven't jogged for a while now. It's 5am and I wake up and head out for a jog. I see other people jogging and some of them are really fit. I just want to be that way. I don't want to feel insecure.
After jogging I went home then showered and took the bus to school.
"Hey stranger." Jason says from behind and I'm startled.
I swiftly turn around. "Hey, creep."
"Are you okay? You look different today. Like you just watched the full seasons of 13 reasons why." Jason says.
"No I'm good and 13 reasons why is a very good series."
"Yes but I totally agree with people who says Hannah killed herself for attention. I mean it was quite unnecessary." Jason says as we both stroll through the school hallway.
I stop and face him. "You're an asshole if you think like that. That's very insensitive of you to say. You don't know how she felt because you've not been through what she has been through. She was tired."Tears start to pack under my eyes. "She was exhausted and she was pushed to the point where she couldn't hold it." I start crying.
"Shit. Chill I was just joking. I definitely totally understand her. I'm sorry" Jason says.
"Just leave me for now" I say and walk out on him.
*
*
*
I enter English class and Jason walks in right after me and sits beside me.
"Hey, Theresa. You good?" He asks
Immediately, the English teacher commences with the class. "Today is the final day to present your poetry and we have 4 people left to present. Mister Jason would you please start today's presentation?"
The teacher calls out to Jason and he steps out to the front of the classroom. "Uhm..some of you may know me and some of you may not. I'm actually new here so here's my poem." He looks me dead in the eyes and speaks:
"Who is she?
Who is she if she gives in to criticisms?
Who is she of cries on the bathroom floor because of what her ears heard?
She is human.
She is human.
She is human.
Girl I wish I could tell you how beautiful you are.
I wish I could tell you that what they say about you doesn't define you.
You don't have to change the colour of your hair
Or change the way you walk, the way you dress
Because you are perfect just the way you are.
Anytime you are tired,
It's okay to cry, it's okay to almost give up but don't
Don't give up because if they break you, I promise to raise you.
The pieces of a woman are special.
You think you're broken but girl you're pretty.
I can't tell you enough how beautiful I think you are.
So in case you're wondering,
You are beautiful and perfect just the way you are." Jason concludes his poem.
The whole class applauds him and he's still looking and me. Why does it seem like he was referring to me? Did he write the poem about me? I am touched by the words and I'm almost in tears
He walks up to me and whispers in my ear; "I meant every damn word I said. If they break you, I'll raise you and cherish the pieces."
What just happened?....