*Maddie*
"Thank god I brought a blanket." Maddie cheerfully stretched the blanket over them. She could immediately feel the heat change like a blessing. It was way too cold for anyone to be outside.
But if Ana wants to go outside, Maddie wouldn't complain, not at this point.
Though I don't know why she'd pick here of all places, still Maddie was willing to make the most of it.
"It didn't look so cold from the window," Maddie perked up. "But that's just how Dawny winters are."
"Are they?" Ana fell quiet.
I may need to try a bit harder.
"Well, I don't think they're as cold as Almonies winters." Maddie looked at Ana pointedly. "Do you know?"
"No, they are not."
This girl- Maddie could roll her eyes just then. Ana was undoubtedly going to make her work for it.
"Then how cold would you say they are?" Maddie leaned in, still smiling. "Cold? Very cold? Or to the bone?"
It was meant to be a joke, but it seemed to fly over her head.
"Yes, it's colder."
Oh, come on! That was easy for you. Maddie expected that to work, at least.
Ana read so much that she was bursting with tidbits of knowledge.
But she won't even bite with that? Maddie could feel herself getting frustrated. It looked like this was going nowhere.
However, I can't give up now. Maddie knew. Who knows when she might get another chance alone with Ana?
Because I have a lot of work to do, Maddie knew.
At least something is going my way. The brat is finally gone. Mykhol, for the moment, was away. He was attending one of the brunches the queen was hosting.
I would have thought such events centered on just ladies. But whatever the reason, Mykhol was gone.
So Maddie was grateful all the same.
"Ana, Don't mind me asking, but why here?" Maddie turned to motion to the hedge maze.
"It's so cold right now. Wouldn't you like to find somewhere else to go? Perhaps to the library? Or maybe we could see-"
"No, the maze is perfect."
"Okay? But why?"
"Because No one is here."
"Oh," Maddie opened to close her mouth.
"Well, at least we are out of the room." And that was better than nothing. Maddie had to count her blessings.
And it's a good thing I brought back up. Maddie thought. If talking wouldn't work, this surely would.
"I brought you something."
"Maddie?" Ana stopped as the smell of hot cocoa overpowered the air.
"I thought you might like something to sip on." Maddie held the cup out. "Hot cocoa is the number one drink on a cold day, after all."
"OH, I- thank you."Ana was too stunned to say no. She took the cup to take a sip.
"It's good."
"Yeah?" Maddie beamed. "Well, Drink up. I brought plenty."
Maddie motioned to the canister.
"I, yes, thank you." Ana nodded and seemed to take Maddie at her word. She finished the cup to ask for another.
"Glad you like it." Maddie couldn't help but beam again.
I should have just gone with the chocolate first. Maddie would use sweets first next time. Maddie could see Ana quickly move through another cup before returning for thirds.
"Did you make this yourself, Maddie?" Ana asked. Her eyes were the clearest Maddie had seen in days.
"Alas, no," Maddie poured and handed her the third cup. "But I'll tell them that you liked it."
"Tell who?" Ana was about to sip her cup as Maddie went on.
"The head chef."
"The head- You mean Mr. Brown?" Ana paused on the cup.
"Yeah," Maddie curiously smiled as she went to pour herself a cup. "How did you know his name?"
"Ana?" Maddie quickly saw something change. "Ana, what's-" But Maddie didn't get to finish as Ana was already on her feet.
"Use the blanket to stay warm." Ana shoved the untouched cup into her hands.
"Ana, what are you doing?" Maddie opened her mouth just as the snow began to fall. Tiny flakes of snow were drifting down. They lost and landed to make a bright contrast against Ana's shawl.
Since that morning, the shawl seemed a permanent part of Ana's outfit. She wouldn't even take it off inside the room when it was just them.
"Ana," Maddie softened her tone more slowly. " It's cold." She forced an easy smile and patted the empty spot by her.
"Come, don't be silly. Let's sit awhile and drink-"
"I'll be back." Ana turned and started.
"Ana, wait-" Maddie shuffled with both cups. "Hold on, I'll go with you-"
We still need to talk! They would be leaving soon, and Maddie couldn't just leave things as they were.
We need to talk so I can clarify any of these misunderstandings. Maddie had to, or Ana would leave things in shambles between herself and the king.
And if that happens, everything will return to square one again. I can't let that happen. Maddie had put in too much time to get to this point now.
No, I have to do something. But it was already too late when Maddie looked up again.
"Ana?" Maddie called, but Ana was gone. There was no trace of her. She was never there except for the now-cold cup of cocoa.
*Ana*
I still taste the chocolate, but I try to ignore it. If I don't, I'll start remembering things again.
And if I start remembering one thing, I might remember everything. And I don't want to.
It took enough courage to leave the room on the last day.
Just focus on the snow. I look down to watch my feet. I feel the snow bite through the shoes. It makes me wish I had taken the blanket.
But Maddie needs it. I turn back. I can't help but feel a little guilty about suddenly leaving her.
I was the one who asked to come outside. But then again, Maddie was practically running for the door, too.
I'm sure she's antsy to go, and so is Mykhol. They want to go back home.
We leave tomorrow. After this, everything will be behind me. I hope so, anyway.
I can forget about all of this like a terrible dream. I pause as something falls on my cheek. I move to touch it and find it's cold.
"Snow?" I turn to see the whole sky covered in white flurries. It's completely covered and seems so vast and endless.
Just Like Nicoli's eyes.
Another snowflake falls onto my cheek. It melts and drips down with an icy burn, but after that, I feel nothing. I have nothing to do but carry on.
I must have been distracted because I knew where I was before I realized it. Somehow, I managed to get here. I am in the center of the maze again with the fountain.
It still stands frozen in place. The broken icicles from when we were here before are still there. The only difference now is that snow is starting to stick on top.
"I wish I could have seen you in springtime." I swipe snow off to sit on the ledge.
"You would have been beautiful." I know you would have.
I bet the water will sparkle in the sunlight, just like mine. And the birds will come from all over to sing and play. Their little songs would fill the whole maze with joy.
"I wish…" but I stop. Unfortunately, I don't think that will ever happen now.
All I will remember of Dawny is how bitter winter is.
"But still…" Despite everything, I still can feel it.
"I wish I could see you right now." I look down at my hands.
But what I want and what will happen are two different things.
"Oh," I gasp as the sudden wind catches me. It's strong enough to shift the chains with a good rattle before I know it's moving.
"No-" I try, but I'm too slow. My shawl pulls free to slip down. And the wind picks up whatever free pieces fell from the braid.
"Ah, I must-" I move up to catch it but then stop. I realize I am alone, and suddenly, it doesn't matter. Nothing does
I return my hands to my lap and watch my hair numbly fly in the wind. It is almost like dancing. But if they are, it's to mock me.
"If I didn't have you, Would my life be that much better?"
Or would it even matter? I touch a curl and look at it closely. Silver is such an innocent color on its own.
The moon is silver.
But yet, it's nothing but cruel. I clench my hair tight. It hurts me, making me feel like I don't fit in either place.
But maybe that's it. I have to face things more realistically.
"What did I think would change?" I have to ask. "Why did I even come here?"
I have no mother here. Queen Belinda made that clear. But now my father is a stranger again. And my brother-
"May not ever speak to me again." The words fall from my lips like burning hot water.
What did I come here for? I have no one to answer. So, I stay in my spot before my legs grow stiff.
" I'm tired ." I go again to myself, and it's true. I am tired, tired in a more profound way.
"I should get back." I stand and take a deep breath to fill my lungs with the icy air. Something about it is very cleansing. It unravels something that was tightly knotted until this very moment.
Numbly, I recognize what it might be. I almost forgot how it feels.
"I'm alone," I go. But it seems fitting. Or maybe I should've expected it all along.
"Ana!" The sound of Maddie calling makes me shift.
"Coming," I find my voice. It has more enthusiasm than it first did. I think I am starting to feel better now that I got to sit down.
I want to go back to Maddie.
I will go back and make sure she's nice and warm. I think with a smile. That will make things right again. And so I turn back, ready to stomp way back the path I came.
It's much easier when you follow the footprints. I am happy to find myself out again. I stop to fix my shawl, but my fingers are numb from the cold.
"Maddie, I'm here-" I step out, but the bench is empty.
"Maddie?"I don't see her anywhere. But then I hear it. Something crunches behind me.
"Maddie, there you are," I start relieved.
"Maddie, Help me fix my headdress. It blew off with the wind-" I turn, expecting to see her smiling face.
But it's not her.
It's not Mykhol, either.
It's the last person I thought to see.
"Why are you-" But just as quickly as I'm shocked, I grow excited.
" Nicoli!" I reach for him as he turns.
"Wait-," but it is too late; his feet kick up the snow as he runs the opposite way.
Nicoli runs and runs without a single word or glance back. His shape disappears amidst the falling snow.
"You," I slowly look down at my empty hand. Snow is falling over it and falling harder now, so it gets buried.
But I don't feel it. It's not cold. Or maybe it is? It doesn't matter either way.
Warm tears begin to fall. But I don't wipe them away because it doesn't matter.
Nothing matters now.
Because now I know.