I suppose I should be angry, no, I must be mad at her and cursing her to death cause she stole my very first kiss. That's the normal reaction, right? I should've been furious at her and slap her. But what was this feeling?
I'm angry, not at her but myself, just silently standing there and lost in my thoughts, without trying to cut loose from her lips.
Thinking about it, again and again, frustrates me. I couldn't even count how many times I scratched my head in frustration. Rena just looking at me puzzled at what am I doing, but she didn't ask anything. I must be looking weird in her eyes.
I just looking at the lunch box in front of me. Every time that my utensils graze on my lips, I remember that she kissed me and because of that I was starting to lost my appetite. Continued stirring my meal in the box and barely eat it.
"It's not good you know" finally, Rena spoke after her long thinking of what am I doing. "You shouldn't play with your food, what are you a kid?" she said sounded like a mother who reprimanded her child.
Stretching her right arm towards me, she snatched the utensil out of my hand and scooped the rice "Say, aaaahhhh" she said pointing the spoon right in front of my mouth, tried to feed me.
"Don't wanna, it's kind of embarrassing. I could handle my own" shifting my gaze away from her with pouting, I felt like a kid throwing a little tantrum. What am I doing?
"Here comes the airplane, shoo shoo shoo shoo shoo"
"Pfft!" I couldn't help myself but to chuckled and turned into laughter. Swaying the spoon in the air with her strange sound effects, she looked hilarious, or we were looked hilarious since our other classmates were looking at us, trying to prevent their laughter.
"Okay...okay I'll eat properly before the lunch break ended" I stated before I let her feed me. Opening my mouth with a bit of embarrassment, I was certain that my face was beet red at the moment, like what I thought so, I couldn't taste the food whenever something bothering me, it felt like I was chewing a wood, though I never tried one before and I'll never attempt to but it just like that.
Grabbing the spoon back from her, I silently ate my meal on my own before she started to act like a mother again. I couldn't bear the embarrassment anymore.
Feeling someone looking at me whenever I'd chopped my food, I looked at the window on my right side and saw student council president Julius staring dagger at me. I suppose he was just doing his rounds when he saw us. But why did he have to stare like that at us—on me, I didn't know that being fed by your friend is a crime now.
As he noticed that I was looking at him, he turned his gaze on the other way and walked straight to the hallway.
"What's wrong with him?" I muttered.
"Did something wrong?" Rena looked at the window where my gaze was pointed, fortunately, Julius already left. I was sure she's going to run to the door just to greet him if she saw him.
"No... nothing, don't mind it" shrugging my shoulders and continued eating my lunch.
"There you go again, trying to hide something away from me. hmpft! I'll get angry if you continue doing that" she threatened but I just laughed awkwardly. "By the way, her seat was vacant again... I wonder where she goes whenever its lunch break"
"Who?"
"She—Vanessa, she always went out with her lunchbox and came back nearly before the school bell ring, so I wonder if she's eating with someone outside the class, you know friend from another class or someone like that" Rena exclaimed as she trying to bring her point.
Now that she mentioned that, I always found her walking out of the room as soon as the lunch break started. Did she eat her lunch with someone? or she was eating alone somewhere, part of me feeling sorry for her if the latter one was true. She'd just recently transferred here without knowing someone inside the class, I guess she felt out of place that's why she always left the room, or she just doesn't want someone to interrupt her meal. Argh! the hell I care for her, I just feel sorry for her but it doesn't mean that I'd already forgiven her for ki-kissing me.
Stabbing my lunch, I let out my anger but then again Rena scolded me.
❀
"Suyaaaaa..." I let out a deep breath after I finished eating my lunch, Rena already finished hers and put it back on her book bag, but I'd just finished mine, probably because I spent more time playing with my food than eating it.
I stretched my arms in the air and laid on my seat, a great rest after a meal is the best, though I barely tasted the food well. As I flipped those hairs around my shoulder backward, I felt an intent looked. Ah... not good, I forgot.
"So when do you plan to dye your hair black?" Rena asked, looking at me with a menacing aura. Without answering her, I'd just laughed awkwardly and sat straight on my seat.
Just a few weeks ago, she also asked me the same question. Well, it wasn't as if I was a delinquent that's not the case. The original color of my hair was dark brown, it was a trait from my father. Actually, I like it when I was young—having a different hair color from the other students in my class, but after my father left us, I bleached my hair and here I am now.
"You know that I couldn't tolerate that hair color anymore, right? I already told you a dozen times that you need to dye it black or else I'll shave it" she threatened which made me taken aback. Ah! scary!
I have no idea why I'd didn't dyed it black before, is it because whenever I imagined my hair color black, the ghost who climbs from the well was the first one crossed in my mind? though I've never seen my hair black personally.
Gladly, Rena quite understood my reason why I don't want to dye my hair back to its original color but she always insisted that I turned it black. No, I don't want to be scared by children, you know. But maybe I'll color it someday... yeah, probably.
As we continued chattering, Vanessa still not in the classroom. It's wasn't unusual and it's not like I cared for her. Surely enough, I just want to talk to her, or more likely confront her for what she had done to me earlier. Yet, I don't want any unnecessary fight I still have my dignity as a proper student, and I don't want to cause a problem for Rena that was why I'll just talk to her, the problem is I don't know-how.
'Hey Vanessa, wassup why did you kiss me?' No, it's too awkward if I said that and it's not like me to say that kind of words. 'Ummm... Va-Vanessa, earlier... why did you kiss me?' Probably not, it was like I'm a maiden asking her crush or something.
Letting out a sigh, I rested my arms on my desk horizontally with my head leaned on it, as though I was preparing to sleep in the class. Not that I always sleep in the class, I just do it whenever Rena was absent and I am left alone in the class.
Inside our classroom, my classmates have their own circle of friends. They only approached the other party if they needed something or they have to say something, like when they were asked by teachers.
As for me, I only have Rena and nothing else. Strange enough, most of the girls inside our class shunned me out, probably because some of the guys I'd jilted before we're inside our class, I don't know why but suddenly they became my classmate. As a result, I felt awkward every time they're looking at me, I subconsciously thought that they were badmouthing me or anything.
As I felt my eyelid became heavy, I was startled and brought back to reality. Hearing a loud thud from the sliding door of our classroom woke me up. Looking at the door intently, a middle-aged man wearing a black suit was standing there looking all around inside our class, probably looking for someone.
Coincidentally, our teacher came from his back, patting the middle-aged man's shoulder, as though he was calling the middle-aged man's attention.
"Is there anything wrong sir?" our teacher asked with a blunt smile on his face.
"No, I just looking for someone... sorry for the late introduction, I'm Morales, the teacher of Vanessa from her previous school. I'd just looking for her to ask something"
My eyes widened as I recognized the man who was talking with our teacher, there's no doubt of it... he was the man I saw with Vanessa that night.