I sat on the roof of our school contemplating what and whatnot. My emotions had spiraled out of control yesterday when my father decided to pawn my phone. Of course, I didn't show this because if I did it would've caused a beating.
I ate a poorly made Wagyu Katsu and white milk that tasted of coconut which was off-putting considering it was supposed to be plain milk.
Just then, the bell rang, and I walked down the stairs to my classroom.
When I entered the room, everyone giggled and pointed at me as if they were five-year-olds looking at a gorilla. Of course, I was used to this. Show no emotion and the pain would stop as well.
As I walked between the desks, I looked down for two reasons. 1. I wouldn't have to look them In the eyes. I hated that. And 2. If one of them decided to trip me, I could catch myself on the way down. Never intentionally avoid it, it just makes it worse.
I made it through the classroom to my desk, which was perfectly placed next to the window looking outside. It was raining. I liked the rain, it washed all filth out of the world and covered the obnoxious sun which taunted in your face how good its life is every. Single. Day.
'Look at you, you depressed loser. No one would care if you died. Go jump off a building.' I thought to myself. 'I would if it didn't hurt,' I replied.
"Mr. Teageen. Can you explain why you're late?" The teacher said shooting a piercing look towards me.
"I apologize for being late Mr. M. My leg began hurting when I was walking down the stairs forcing me to slow down to handle the pain. I should've left earlier. I apologize for wasting your time, as you make such a difference in our lives."
Mr. M smirked a bit.
"While sweet-talking me ain't gonna get rid of your detention after school, it will shorten it. Read a watch next time you disabled teapot."
The class laughed while looking at me.
I learned very early in high school that if you bloat your teachers' ego with things like "You change my future" or "You have made a big difference in my life" they usually go easy on you. Comes in handy when trying to avoid school.
I heard three taps next to me. 'F*ck' I thought. I looked over to see Akimitu with a devilish grin. One tap meant 'Bring us money. Two taps meant 'Bring us food'. Three taps meant 'Be our punching bag or suffer the consequences.' 'F*ckf*ckf*ckf*ckf*ck' I repeated in my head.
It was Friday, meaning he would go all out because the staff wouldn't ask what happened to me, as it was obvious I had an abusive father. (though no one did anything about it.)
I rested my head on my desk imagining what they'd do. First, it would be a punch to the face, one or two. Then, they would focus on my stomach until I coughed up blood. It was what they did last time, at least. Finally, some mental torture as they treat me like their dog. Who did they think they were? F*cktards with more money than brains, and I hated them with my entire soul.
I would never say this in front of them, though, as I might end up with a serious injury that forced me to be bedridden for the next year.
'Looks like you're finally getting what you deserve, 'teegean'. You should be happy for them beating an insignificant insect like you into the ground. You are worth nothing. You have no value.' I thought to myself. 'Shut up!' I replied.
Just then, a smack on my head shocked me. It stung. I looked up to see Mr. M, looking at me with a disappointed face.
"Child, you were just saying how I made a difference in your life, but then you sleep in my class. That's an extra forty minutes of detention for you."
The laughter resumed as if it had been put on pause.
I Hated laughter. It belonged to those who were happy. I want to be happy. Why can't I be happy? I'm jealous. What did I do? I want what they have, It's not fair.
'They can be happy because they don't kill their mothers. Remember that? T-e-a-g-e-e-n?' I said, pronouncing each syllable carefully with an over-dramatic tone. '...' I didn't reply.
"I'll be safe from Akimitu for an hour in forty minutes, at least." I thought to myself. Mr. M returned to his desk and resumed his teaching, keeping a close eye on me.
When the last bell rang and I finished my detention, I headed for the local park, where we always met up. 'HAHAHAHA' I began laughing like a maniac. I often tried to pretend to be happy, because I truly couldn't. It sounded psychotic but I didn't care; if I could ruin someone else's day with my laughter, maybe I could be happy for real. A knot curled up in my stomach with each step I took forward. Before I knew it, I was at the park, and I felt like I was going to puke.