What is sadness, they ask? Those who ask must not have experienced it. When they do, it's uncontrollable. I sit down and read a book in the sunshine.

Even if it's sunshine, I don't feel happy.

I feel what Nepam calls sadness.

What is sadness, everyone ask? No one really knows.

I once asked my friend Carlito, "Hey what is sadness?"

He says, "Els, I really don't know. The reporter on SAK news says that its the opposite of happiness. Most people have never really experienced it."

Carlos was a really smart guy, always on top of his class. Scoring A's in every subject even in the LIFE category. Thou, even he couldn't explain it.

This made me make it take it as my personal mission to find what it was.

I scoured the internet for hours, the only information I got was, those who became "sad" died really fast. I didn't understand what makes them sad.

One fall afternoon, as the autumn leaves fell onto the hard pavement, I took a stroll towards the holographic market.

This market was highly developed and was government approved so I had to trust it. It featured online currency and it was incredibly realistic. Furthermore, fruits and vegetables never grew old or rotted due to a boom in technology enabling it to preserve its quality without using any chemicals.

I went towards the fruit stands, I reached out a finger and pressed the holographic screen.

[Would You Like to Purchase 5 Tomatoes?] It said

[Yes/No]

I pressed Yes, and paid the respective amount.

"Cheap," I say cheerfully. There was a discount which set my day in such a good mood.

I went towards the vegetable stands, I reached out a finger, and pressed the holographic screen.

[Would You Like to Purchase 10 Broccoli, 10 Jicama?] It said again.

[Yes/No]

I pressed Yes, and paid the respective amount.

Suddenly the wind picked up and some of the leaves flipped against my eyes. It scraped my eyes and it began to bleed. Something was wrong.

Immediately, the nanotechnology inside of me, triggered pain killers to try to get rid of the pain. It was too late, I felt something that I never felt before. It hurt.

I feel something roll down my face, it was blood.

The feeling before it got masked by the nanotechnology could never be re-felt. It was one a lifetime feeling… It truly was an interesting feeling. I needed to feel it again. Before you

I closed my eyes, but my eyes were closed. I couldn't see a thing.

I fell.

I tried to find my footing as I groveled around on the ground. Other passing buyers of the Holographic Market thought this was funny entertainment and I was trying to make their day. They thought until they saw the blood trickling down my eyes, over my nose, under my nostrils, and fall to the pavement floor.

I feel that sensation just before I pass out right there.

Blink, Blink, Blink

I am utterly lost as I can't see a thing. What's going on?

I can hear the beep-beep of the hospital heart monitors, the worried familiar voices surrounding me. I'm confused, I feel different. Not happy or disappointed like the feelings I am familiar with. Not the feeling of "hurt" that made me this way.

The feeling of being small. No, let me correct that. The feeling of being so scared that they cannot think clearly and do not know what to do, we can say that they are sure that my body is tense.

My whole eyesight is covered in darkness.

"Hello? Can anyone hear me," I say, my voice sounding far far away?

Suddenly all the chatter stops in my room. I reach out a hand and try to feel something but all I fear is air. Then I feel another soft and warm hand placed on top of mine.

"Hi Dear, I'm a doctor at the Nepam Institute of Medicine," the woman who holds my hand says.

"Why can't I see anything?? Why am I here? Will I be like this for the rest of my life," I worriedly asks? I get up by other doctors in this room hurriedly tells me to rest and lay down.

"Dear, your blind, but wanted to test some technology on you that may be beneficial to you, its a one-on-one eyesight to text technology" she exclaims!

I can sense the exclamation in her voice.

"Alright, I'll try it, anything to help with this feeling," I say.

"What feeling?" she says.

Immediately, I stop because if I tell them my desire is, to feel different feelings, she may call me mad, she might not give the technology away. After all, it was free.

This new feeling rushes over me, this time it's not the one being small, nor is it the one being hurt. This time it's the feeling of constantly being small? No scratch that it's the feeling of being watched.

Isn't this what I wanted? Yes, it was… I jabber out loud.

This is exactly what I wanted.

I am no longer happy.