May 11th,
*SNAP!*
The rope attached to the tree branch snapped and I fell face first to the ground, barely missing the stump on the ground that I used to stand on. I picked myself back up and started walking again. I walked for hours, enjoying the scent of maple and cinnamon, until I finally found my house. I noticed someone standing out at the porch.
My mother.
When she saw me walking closer to the house, she sprinted to me and wrapped her arms around me tightly.
"YOU PROMISED ME," she said through her messy tears. "I THOUGHT YOU PROMISED ME THAT YOU WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME! EVER!!!"
There she goes again, filling my mouth up with her own words. Words that I never said or even thought. She was always like this, deciding the way I had to live my life. When I could be allowed to leave the house, and where I was allowed to go. I'm so sick of it.
"I don't remember making that kind of promise." I said.
I mother let go of me and took a look at me. A few leaves were stuck to my clothes from when I fell and when they fell on me. I could feel a small cut on my face, but no blood leaked out. And the knot of the rope was still wrapped around my neck.
My mother covered her mouth with her hands, tears streaming down her face as she looked like she was panicking a little.
"W...W-Why...?" She barely muttered.
That was all she could mutter. Every other sound that escaped her mouth were just unintelligible whimpers.
I have to say the truth, otherwise everything will just repeat again. I have to tell her. Come on Alex, just tell her already! Say what's been on your mind for the past four years! Say it in whatever emotion you think is best to express yourself.
I felt my hands clench into a pair of fists as I slowly looked away from my mother. Wet tears streamed down my face and mixed with the blood that suddenly started to leak out from my cut.
"Blood...," I whimpered to her. "Blood and tears. That's why. That's why I did it. I couldn't take it anymore! This...mixture of pain and depression hurt so much! And it was all because of you."
My mother was still in shock from seeing the rope around my neck, but her expression briefly illustrated a hint of confusion.
"You kept me trapped in that damn house," I continued, the current of my tears growing rougher. "You made me feel worthless. Powerless! Like I couldn't do anything but stand there and take your burden! This feeling carried over in my school life to. I would just stand there and take their anger head on without even putting up a fight!"
I suddenly grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and yanked her face closer to mine. Her eyes grew fearful as she saw me talking down to her like a king does to a peasant.
"Do you even have any idea how much that hurt me," I asked her, feeling my face contort into something terrifying. "DO YOU HAVE A GODDAMN CLUE OF WHAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH?!?!?! HUH?! ANSWER ME!!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY MOTHER, RIGHT?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR ME, RIGHT?!"
I pushed her back and continued shouting my feeling out at her as she watched with those fearful eyes of hers.
"PLEASE, 'MOTHER!' PLEASE, LIGHT THE PATH FOR ME?! WHAT MUST I DO TO STOP THIS PAIN?! STAY IN THE HOUSE YOU SAY?! WELL TOUGH SHIT, BECAUSE I'VE ALREADY FUCKING DONE THAT. IN FACT, I'VE BEEN DOING THAT FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS, BUT HEY WHO'S COUNTING?! SO WHAT, DID YOU KEEP ME TRAPPED INSIDE THAT HOUSE BECAUSE OF WHAT YOUR PARENTS DID TO YOU?!"
My mother looked up at me with even more shock.
"H-How did...you..." she muttered.
"HOW DID I KNOW?! Well...I..." I froze.
Hang on. How did I know that? Why can't I remember. I feel as if I'm missing something.
"That doesn't matter," I said, growing tired of yelling. "In fact, none of this probably matters. I was hoping you would listen to me, but I don't even know if you're taking me seriously or not. Hell, I feel like I'm talking to a wall right now. Hey, can't you see me crying? You're own son...crying... Hey...*sniff* aren't you going to even say anything to me...?"
I fell to my knees.
"Please...*sniff* look at me. Actually look at me...for once in your life..."
I said it. I finally said what I've been wanting to say for all those years.
I picked myself back up and started walking away. I had no car, no bike, no skateboard. Just my own two legs. I started walking down the road and headed to the city. It would take me about forty minutes to get to the city on foot, but I didn't mind.
My mother didn't even try to chase after me. I noticed that she didn't have a kitchen knife in her hands this time. I thought that she would have one after realizing I ran off again, but maybe she's starting to trust me? Or maybe it was just my thirteen year old imagination.
Either way, I was free to walk off on my own.
My house had some neighborhoods near them, but the schools and bigger stores were all in the city. The city was always busy with people walking the streets. There were many restaurants, grocery stores, game stores, bookstores, and many other different kinds of stores that I could care less about. There were also many neighborhoods in the city as well.
I decided to just walk around the block just so I could clear my head a little more. I could see little kids playing kickball in the freshly cut yards. The smell of grass filled my nose. It tickled my nose a little and it wasn't very pleasant.
I started walking on a sidewalk, a row of smaller houses were standing to my right side. They all had windows on their lower sides, probably windows to their basements. I can't help but wonder why those kinds of windows-
"HELP ME!!!"
I cry for help snapped me out of my dumb thinking. I jolted my head to my right side, the face of a little girl was what my eyes had met when I looked at the basement window.
Her face was really bruised up and had several cuts on her cheeks. I knew that something was wrong.
I had no cell phone with me, so I ran up to a house right next to it and banged on the door, hoping someone would answer. Luckily, the door opened.
"May I help you?" Asked a young looking man.
"I need you to call the police," I said to him. There's a little girl trapped in that basement!"
~I woke up holding the rusted nail close to my wrist. I dropped it and tried running off the my bad headache. I don't remember what had happened, but I have to leave this place. I can't stay here anymore. I don't care what happens in the future. Anything is better than staying here.
I saw my mother sleeping on her side. I ran up to her, the chains on the ground rattling, and shook her up.
"Mom, please, wake up!" I cried to her.
"Hmm...what...?" She woke up, her eyes drowsy and tired, but still beautiful.
"Mom, please, we need to leave this place," I said to her. "We can't stay here anymore!"
"Why would you want to leave," mom said. "I love this place. I can never leave here. You just don't understand."
"Mom...please..."
Tears filled my eyes again. I hated when that happened. I couldn't see anything because of them.
"You'd missing out on all the fun," mom said. "I won't stop you if you want to leave, but what you're doing is a mistake."
Mom rolled back over and went back to sleep. I couldn't even look at her anymore.
Why...? Why do you not want to leave? Why can't you be my mother for once?
I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want to give up, but I had no choice. I wanted to leave no matter what, even if that meant having to leave her behind. She doesn't want to go, so I can't do anything about it.
I ran up towards the basement window...
"HELP ME!!!"
...and screamed as loud as I could.