May 11th,
I decided to stay overnight at the hospital. I don't know why, but I didn't want to leave this girl alone. I wish I knew why. She's safe here, so what am I still doing here?
That girl Emily had also asked the nurses if I could stay with her overnight. They complied and left me and her alone.
"You doing ok?" I asked.
"I'm fine," she nodded. "Thank you."
"I've got nothing to be thanked for. I just did what anyone else would do."
"You'd be surprised. Honestly, I'd argue that nice people like you are in the minority in this world. Most would've just stood back and did nothing, but you charged in and protected me. So...I...I can't...*sniff*...thank you enough..."
She tried to keep the tears from leaking out, but to no avail. However, she did maintain her smile. A cute smile that I would've never imagined to have been directed towards me.
"I wish I had you as a father," Emily suddenly said to me. "I know that might sound weird, but you kinda acted like one to me back there."
"I'm not so sure if I'm ready for that kind of responsibility," I said. "Besides, I'm only seventeen, so I can't exactly make that decision right now."
Emily looked a little saddened by my response, but she still kept her smile genuine.
"I'm getting a little tired," she said. "I think it's time for me to sleep now.
"Yeah, it's been a long day," I said. "I've still got some stuff to take care of myself."
"What have you had to go through?"
"Nothing compared to the stuff you had to face, but it still sucks."
I walked over to the chairs to sleep on, but Emily stopped me by grabbing onto my jacket.
"You can lay your head down here." Emily said, pointing down on her lap.
"No, that's fine," I said. "I don't want to cause a misunderstanding to the nurses. They might think I'm some weirdo or-"
"If they think that, then I'll just tell them that I said it was fine. Besides, you said it yourself: 'Yeah, it's been a long day.'"
I couldn't help but chuckle a little at her weird voice impression of me.
"You're surprisingly well-mannered, but, deep down, you're still a kid." I chuckled.
I guess it's fine if she says it is. Though, I'm still a little scared of being locked in jail for something like this.
I crouched down to my knees and rested my head on her lap. Emily then suddenly started to pat my head gently.
"Are you comfortable enough?" She asked me.
"I should be asking you that." I said.
"Hehe! I'm fine. You're not that heavy. It's just your head after all."
She kept stroking my hair with her hands while she started softly humming some sort of soft lullaby to me.
"Hey, how old are you?" I asked.
"Eleven." She said.
"You say that, but I'm starting to feel like I'm the kid here."
"Maybe it's because I know more than you do."
"Hmph, maybe."
No one had ever done this to me. Not even my own mother gave me this kind of comfort. Of course, I couldn't say that to Emily. And I know a lot of people will think I'm weird for thinking this, but I don't care. It's nice to finally feel loved and wanted by someone.
I closed my eyes to fall asleep, but the door suddenly opened.
"Do you need anythi... What's wrong with him?" The nurse asked.
"He's just going through some stuff." Emily said.
"Oh lord, where would men be without us."
"Probably a dark and lonely cave or something."
"My eyes are closed, but I'm not deaf." I blurted out.
They both had a laugh.
"Well you best better take care of that girl now," the nurse said. "The police are trying to find other members of her family that are suitable enough for her to live with, so she'll be staying here for another day to let her wounds heal. I hope I can trust you to help heal the deep wounds."
"You can trust me," I said. "I don't want to leave this girl alone until I know for sure she's happy where she is."
"You must care an awful lot about her. Do you know her or something?"
"No. I just don't like seeing people getting hurt. Being given an awful life just because you were born into it shouldn't be your fault. You shouldn't have to suffer because of bad luck that you don't even have any control over."
"You're right about that. Only the lord himself know why this happens to us. I just wish we had more nice people like you."
"I wouldn't call myself nice."
"Honey, if you saving a girl from an abusive father and an ignorant mother isn't nice, then I don't know what is. Give yourself a little more credit than you are right now. You're a good kid. Don't go letting others tell you otherwise."
I couldn't really see myself as a nice guy as much as I saw myself as a pathetic guy, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to trust what she says. Plus, she sounds like she has experience when it comes to rotten luck.
"I'll try," I said. "Thank you."
"Mhm. Now you best better get some rest," the nurse said. "Y'all both probably have a long day ahead of you tomorrow."
I dreamed of a story. A story of where I walked along the forrest back at home. Of where I found an endless road and met a guy in wicked fashion. Of where I fell in love with that guy overnight and slept with him. Of where I saw him disappear in front of me in a golden glow and I cried after seeing that. Of where I met a little girl in an awkward twist of fate. Of where we walked together through the perfect forrest. Of where I met my father and found out the truth of that place. Of where we met a young girl and saw her turn into dark ashes right in front of us. Of where we both faced out horrific pasts together. Of where the little girl disappeared in a golden glow. Of where I finally conquered my past and disappeared as well.
Yes. This story wasn't a dream. It was real. I remember now. I remember him, the one I fell in love with. Cole. And my father. The one who ran out on mom and I and his reason for doing so. And the girl. The girl who saved me from losing myself to that dreaded place. The girl who walked with me through the perfect forrest, the endless road, the horrific past, and to the sky where we spent the night star-gazing. The girl who I told that I what be her new father.
Emily.
May 12th,
I couldn't stop myself from crying when I woke up. When I saw Emily fast asleep while holding my hand with both her hands to her cheek, I felt terrible.
Poor kid. She probably never felt this feeling once in her life.
But also, I cried after remembering what had happened. I wasn't very quiet about it either. I know that I shouldn't be crying at this age, but I just...
"Did you finally remember?"
I looked up to see Emily wide awake.
"I remember now too," she said. "I'm glad I remembered, because now I know that you really are a nice person."
"Oh stop it," I said through my tears, trying to force out a laugh. "I'm not that nice."
"I fell in love with someone, you saved and protected me countless times, you helped me escape that place. When will you get it through your head that your a wonderful person."
"No...I'm pathetic..."
"No, you're amazing."
"No..."
"Yes!"
No matter how much I kept shaking my head while denying her compliments, she just kept praising me over and over and over again. She wrapped her arms around my head and gently caressed my hair while humming that same lullaby from last night.
"Hmmm hmm-hmm...hmmm hmm-hmmm..."
First is was high, then it was low. High. Low. High. Low. Like a gentle wave of warmth telling me that everything was ok. Gently wrapping me in a blanket with a warm cup of milk.
I didn't cry. Instead, I smiled. I let my head fall onto her lap again as she kept humming and patting me.
The door suddenly opened again and the nurse from last night appeared.
"How are we feeling today baby?" She asked Emily.
"Much better," she said. "Although, someone had a bit of a rough start."
"Oh shut up." I pouted.
"Well, it's a lot easier to read a book when it's open than when it's closed," the nurse said. "Don't think that it's a bad thing honey. Anyways, I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better, because you're about to go on a trip somewhere."
"Where?" Emily asked.
"St. Louis, Missouri."
I froze when she said that.
"It's not that far," the nurse continued. "I'd say it's about a four hour trip by car. The police were able to get in contact with your grandparents and they said that they'd be happy to take you in."
"Are they from my dad's side or my mom's?" Emily asked.
"They said your mother's."
"Ok then. I'm fine with-"
"I'm going to!"
I made that declaration so loudly that some of the doctors outside the room turned to their directions towards the room I was in.
"I'm no really sure you can go with them honey," the nurse said. "I mean, maybe, but why would you want to go to St. Louis as well? Are you still worried about Emily?"
"No, well yes, but that's not the reason. I trust Emily, so I don't think she'd say yes to staying with her grandparents if she wasn't sure about it. I actually have someone that I have to meet no matter what!"
"Is it Cole?" Emily asked.
"Yeah," I said to her. "Please, there's gotta be a way that I can get there. I don't have a car or a bike, and I don't know if they'll let me go with her. Hmm, maybe if I take a bus-"
"Oh to hell with those busses," the nurse suddenly said. "Those busses are filthier than The Bronx in Manhattan. I'll just take the day off and get you their myself."
"What?! N-No... I couldn't possibly-"
"Don't you worry yourself now honey! If you got someone you need to meet, then I'll help you meet em. Nothing wrong with accepting help from others."
I wanted to deny her offer, but I had no other options left. I can't rely on my mother and my father still hasn't come back yet.
"Thank you," I said to her. "I don't know how I can repay you for this."
"Here's how," the nurse said. "When you find this Cole person, make sure you place one hand on his back and the other on his cheek when you kiss him."
I couldn't help but laugh at that.
"No, I'm serious! My husband did that to me when we kissed for the first time and oh boy was I felt like I was sent to heaven early that day!"
"I never mentioned that he was my boyfriend," I said. "How'd you know."
"Honey, I know love when I see it. I've been married for thirty years, so I can tell her by looking at that blushing face of yours."
The Child Welfare people came and took Emily with them. The nurse followed them in a car along with me.
"So where exactly in St. Louis are we heading to?" The nurse asked.
"The Gateway Arch," I said. "That's where he said he wanted to meet up with me."
"I hope you don't mind me asking, but how did you meet this boy?"
"I...knew him online," I said. "We just both poured our hearts to each other and fell in love with each other. We both told each other our stories, had loads of fun with each other, then wanted to meet each other. When Cole left, he said to meet there and that was that."
"Hmm... Does he make you happy?"
"He does. In fact, I think he was the only one to have ever made me feel this kind of happiness. In fact, I was so happy that I cried. I cried for the first time in a long time. Probably the first time since I was a baby. I can't tell you how badly I want to hold him and kiss him and tell him that I live him and miss him so much. I have anxiety sometimes from not being able to see him. God, I wish we could legally go faster than this."
"Mhmm. Yes, you're in love alright!"
Suddenly, the nurse pressed down on the gas pedal a little harder and sent us flying through the road.
"Hey, you shouldn't just do that!" I exclaimed.
"Going five miles above the limit ain't going to go nothing," I said. "We'll be fine, so you just relax and keep on feeling that anticipation."
"I can't wait to meet him, but I at least want to meet him alive!"
Forget anticipation. I'm about to have an anxiety attack from this!