"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?" HE ASKED when he fell over me, panting after he managed to take it off before it was too late and relieve himself on the corner of the bed. "I never felt attracted to anyone in my life before, so much that I used to think I was emotionless when it came to romantic relationships. But now," he chuckled softly, "I can't take you out of my mind, and I can't take myself out of you either. I'm having dirty thoughts all the damn time, and when I'm with you I'm insatiable like a maniac!"
That reminded me of a song I used to love, Dirty Thoughts by Chloe Adams. And I giggled, amused by the situation since I never thought it would happen to me.
"You shouldn't be laughing. I'm going crazy!"
But his words made me giggle more, "I was just thinking of a song. And I'm actually happy about that. To think you fantasize about me that way turns me on."
"What song?" He asked with his hands on my hair. "Can you sing it to me?"
I bit my bottom lip, "It's kind of dirty. And the name is literally Dirty Thoughts, are you sure you want to hear?"
"Hm. I want to hear all of your songs before anyone. Especially the dirty ones," he smirked and kissed me lightly. "Come, sing to me," he sat straight with me on his lap.
This is a dangerous position. Every time we are like this we get turned on and we always end up doing many dirty things. But it feels too good to say anything about it.
"Sing with your eyes open this time, Hope. I want to see your eyes," why is he like this?
Sigh. "Better not. I'll get shy singing this, and I might stutter if I'm with my eyes open," I protested but he didn't budget.
"Eyes open!" He insisted. "And don't avoid me."
"You are impossibly annoying. You know that?"
"It's one of my many charms!" He exclaimed confidently, making me smile. Then he caressed my forearms, "Come, darling, sing it to me. You mentioned, now I'm curious. So, sing it!"
He's so bossy.
"Devil," I muttered before biting my bottom lip, preparing my throat to sing after making so much noise with him. But I managed just fine.
❁
"I get dirty thoughts about you. They get worse when I'm without you. Does that mean that I'm going to hell? Or are you thinking them as well, well?
When I'm lonely. All the corners of my mind start racing. Things that should be kept in the basement. Spend my time trying to erase them.
But when you hold me. In the fantasy, it's so convincing. I shouldn't think the things I'm thinking. But now I've gone and let them sink in.
The more that I push them away. The more that you're stuck in my brain. The more I mentally undress. I confess.
I get dirty thoughts about you. They get worse when I'm without you. Does that mean that I'm going to hell? Or are you thinking them as well, oh?
I get dirty thoughts about you. They're so strong that I'm about to. Say them all to you out loud. God can't save me now, oh.
I'm frustrated. Do you really look good naked? And I know that it ain't that holy. But Lord I need this one night only.
The more that I push them away. The more that you're stuck in my brain. The more I mentally undress. I confess.
I get dirty thoughts about you. They get worse when I'm without you. Does that mean that I'm going to hell? Or are you thinking them as well, oh?
I get dirty thoughts. I get dirty thoughts. I get dirty thoughts. I get dirty thoughts about you.
I get dirty thoughts. I get dirty thoughts. I get dirty thoughts. I get dirty thoughts about you."
❁
I blinked, feeling my face burn.
"Hm… I get why you thought about this song. It does fit what I'm going through," not only him. "But don't sing this to anyone else," he brought me closer, brushing his lips on mine. "Only sing those dirty songs to me, okay, Hope?" I felt like he wasn't asking. "Hearing your voice saying these words is too sensual. I want to keep it to myself, or other guys will begin wanting you. I don't want that. You are mine!"
Possessive indeed. I smiled amused, "Okay. I'll sing them all to you. But I'll only keep the dirty ones to you. Got it?" And I made sure he knew from my tone that I wasn't asking.
"Deal!" Then he kissed me. "Do you use some drug as lipstick? Because I'm really addicted to your lips. I can't help but kiss you all the time."
I felt my cheeks flushing, "As if yours weren't addicting."
"I have to keep you safe," he whispered, getting serious again. "You tried to stay low profile all your life, but that won't be able to happen anymore, darling. I hope you are aware of that."
Sigh. He's unfortunately right. "Because the other Dukes, Duchesses, and the Royal family probably know about my powers?"
"Not probably, darling. I'm sure they do. If the north knows, they know. And as I had to take you away in front of everyone in the ball, and they could tell I'm northern as well, the word already spread that you are under northern protection," oh, shit.
"Now that doesn't sound safe."
Sigh. "It kind of isn't! Partially is good because many people who might know about you already won't approach you because they are afraid of the power of the north. However, there are some…" he clenched his jaw, "bastards, that don't know what's best for them and might try to come for you, just to get you out of a northern's claws, so they can manipulate you and use your powers for whatever their purpose is."
"You mean like Duke Dylan Reverdin?" He arched his eyebrows. "Everyone knows that the Reverdin Duchy and the Von der Meer Duchy have a long and old grudge against each other. And both are extremely powerful!"
He pressed his lips together, "Duke Luc is still stronger than that little Reverdin bastard," well, that's for sure.
It's a matter of the male lead against the main villain of the novel after all. Both are insanely powerful enough to present a threat to one another's lives. And it all went south after Princess Alina Desormeaux broke off her long-dated engagement with Dylan, to be with Luc. And as someone who went through a similar situation, I understand Dylan's hatred on that matter.
But contrary to what happened to me, he was in love with Alina since they were kids. That must have made it all worse, way more painful.
"But yes, I mean him. He always causes trouble in the north. And I'm sure he had his eyes on you because of your shadow magic."
That's what feels a little off. Because in the entire storyline of the novel, shadow magic continues to be treated as if it had vanished. No one knew anything about it, and so, the Hope Ariella Bissonnette from the novel stayed as a useless side character with no talking time. And I'm sure, neither Duke Luc nor Duke Dylan was slightly interested in the Hope of the novel.
However, I felt the magic in me since I was a child, and if I hadn't been careful, I would have been exposed long ago. But not it was useless, since people will know about it either way.
Nonetheless, the problem I'm talking about is the pure existence of shadow magic. Maybe it wasn't in the novel because that would put a spotlight on a character that wasn't important in the main storyline. Or, it all happened because of me.
I mean, because my soul was reborn in this world as Hope. Maybe that might have ignited it. Maybe the Hope in the novel had it and it was dormant, so she had no idea. And then I happened to awaken it. Or maybe that wasn't it.