THIS IS SOMETHING THAT ALWAYS CONFUSED ME. And it was also another reason why I hid it with all of my will. I was afraid of getting in the spotlight if they were to learn about what I was hiding.
Now it's too late.
Yes, I'll still try to avoid them. But it'll be harder if they come to me willingly. If Duke Luc, Princess Alina, and Duke Dylan turn their attention to me… I don't even like that thought.
It gives me the creeps.
I bit my lip anxiously, "Then if he knows about it like you imagine he does, he must be pissed because you got to me first. And even managed to take me from my home. He may think that the north got the shadow magic back, and that would make it uneven the scale of power between the two houses, no? Doesn't that mean it's dangerous for me? Do you think he might come and try to kill me?"
Hugging me protectively, he kissed my forehead, "I won't let him touch you. The north won't let it happen. If he tries to kill you, I'm going to rip him apart."
I felt warm, "It means a lot to hear you say those things. But don't like the idea of the north protecting me, because that would mean the Duke also would do something about it. That would be scary. I also don't want to put your life at risk, and although you are strong, Duke Reverdin is said to be toe-to-toe in power with Duke Luc himself, and that man is quite literally touched by God. That's no small quotient of power, alright? I don't want to cause an even bigger problem between the two territories."
But he seemed annoyed, "I assure you, I can give him a good beating, darling. He isn't as strong as you think. Maybe he might get stronger with some time, but he isn't that strong," now he's underestimating the enemy, and that's never good.
At the end of the novel, after Luc got engaged to Alina, Dylan went berserk and went after the male lead in an epic battle. And he was so busted because of his overwhelming emotions, that he almost killed Luc. He would have died if he hasn't taken advantage of Dylan's first and only opening to throw his sword on his head and kill him. But he was beaten badly almost to death, and because of that, he was unconscious for weeks after the fight ended.
So, yeah, he's a bastard, but a dangerous and powerful one. Just as dangerous as the male lead, because as I said before, he was kind to Alina and treated his underlings well, but anyone else would suffer a terrible destiny when crossing paths with him.
Dylan simply went crazy for love.
"You don't seem to believe me," he tilted his head.
"It's not that I don't believe you. Not at all. It's just that it's not right to underestimate someone powerful like that. Especially because if he were to go through a bigger loss in his life, he could lose his mind and go berserk. And if a person as powerful as him went berserk, even someone as powerful as the touched-by-God Duke Luc Von der Meer would be in danger. They may have their grudges, but deep down, I think he knows he's not totally in the right regarding his dad's death situation. Because his father tried to kill Duke Luc, and he only defended himself. It's not like he would wait there to be killed just to spare his father."
"You know surprisingly more things about Duke Luc than I thought you would since you hate him!" Now he's messing with me.
I took a deep breath. "It's not hatred!"
"Yeah. Aversion, whatever. It's still the same damn thing to me. So it's still surprising. Especially because when we hate someone, we don't want to know absolutely anything about the person. But you know a lot about him. Not just him, but Duke Reverdin as well, and he's another of the targets of your… aversion."
As if I had a choice. I read the novel, so I'm bound to know about the main leads. And the main leads happen to be them.
"Knowledge is power, dear devil. If I don't want anything to do with someone, or if I want to avoid someone, I need to know the basics about them so I can know what to expect and how to avoid them. Duke Luc Von der Meer. Duke Dylan Reverdin. 2nd Princess Alina Desormeaux. And other people in such powerful positions are dangerous to me, I was always aware of such things. So, I needed some kind of upper hand if the worse were to happen. And knowledge of my enemies was the thing."
"Now you admit you see them as your enemies?" He asked with a crooked grin.
"Idiot, it's a way of saying it. Besides, anyone that tries to kill and use me is my enemy. They were on the top of the list of people who could very much kill me as if they were stepping on an ant. Which makes them my possible enemies. Just possibilities, okay? But I don't have them. You may not hate all of your enemies, but you are enemies with everyone you hate. There's a difference," I winked and he chuckled.
"I get it. So, what's with your aversion towards Princess Alina? Is it because she's Reverdin's fiancée? It's like she's the only person you feel threatened by in the Royal family." Of course, not. It's because she's the female lead!
I avoided his eyes, "No. And she's more than just his fiancée. She's powerful. The only three-type mage in the Royal family. Someone who doesn't depends on her family as her older brother does. She's also said to be outstanding smart and talented. Not to mention that she's also incredible at doing business," I said, reminding the novel.
Alina was one of those badass female leads, so I loved her in the novel. She was really amazing. But dangerous, and that made her charming.
However, that doesn't look so charming in my situation now. Since she now represents a danger to my life. This is really a pity because if things were different, I would gladly fangirl over her. Not just her, but at the male lead, and the second lead who's the villain as well. Since it was easy to understand everyone's point of view in the novel.
Even Lady Josephine Van Hoorn, the sole daughter of Marquis Kevin Van Hoorn (Dylan's right hand). She loved him from the very beginning since she first met him. And she accepted that he wasn't going to be with her but with the Princess, and she was okay with it since Dylan looked happy. However, she began to hate Alina when she broke up with Dylan and broke his heart to be with Luc, who Josephine always hated since he killed Dylan's dad. It was easy to understand.
She wasn't a dumb villainess either. Sticking to Dylan's side after he was dumped, and helping him with everything. Even trying to make Alina see the mistake she did, just because that was what Dylan wanted. And in the end, when Dylan went berserk and died, she despaired and tried to kill Alina, blaming her for it. But the female lead killed her as well.
See? No one in the novel is entirely good. Nor entirely bad. Their minds are portrayed as that of humans, who make mistakes and bad decisions. And that made all of them easy to love.
But again, I can't think like that anymore, since now I live in the dangerous world of that novel.
He gasped, "You sound more admired by her, than scared of dying by her hands!" Oh?
I bit my bottom lip, "Well, as I told you, I don't hate them. But you don't seem to get what that means. Neither do you seem to understand what aversion means!"
As if I had just dared him, he hardened his grip on my hip and almost touched his lips on mine, whispering, "I don't? Aversion means a feeling of repugnance toward something with a desire to avoid or turn from it. A settled dislike. Having as its synonyms disgust, distaste, loathe, nausea, repugnance, repulsion, revulsion, horror! So, what is that, that I don't understand, Hope? As I've said thousands of times, it's very much the same thing as hatred. Maybe even worse."