"N-Nicholai." I croaked.
My eyes search the shop seeing if maybe he had come here with his family. Nicholai doesn't know the reason I left. When everything had happened, he went off to boarding school, not really having a choice in the matter. Everything fell apart after that. I can never tell Nicholai the reasons for my leaving, he might never believe me. I don't think I can handle another one of those. The last time Nicholai and I had spoken he told me how he enjoyed using me, how it was fun to have me but then he had gotten bored. He wanted something that I was preventing him from getting.....
His FREEDOM!
I remember being so shocked and confused because he was the one who pursued me, who wanted me, who had asked me to be his... NOT the other way around so I didn't understand. Though every word spoken to me was like a knife to the heart, understanding that I was stupid for falling for someone like him, I let him go. Next thing I know he went off to university and didn't come home for four years and those were the worst years of my life and I never wanted to go back there. I needed to find out how he found me and what he was doing here for the sake of my unknown sanity. With that thought I remembered the tray I had dropped earlier and not wanting him to look at me anymore, I bent down and got to work on cleaning up my mess.
"What are you doing Alexa?" Nicholai asked from where he was standing. "Planting seeds for my new garden." I sarcastically replied. Well at least I still had my spunk. I swear I heard a husky chuckle, but then thought better of it. I'm losing my mind. "I'm cleaning up my mess Nicholai." I said looking up and regretting it the minute I do. From down here he looks like a giant and that makes me feel extremely small, not a feeling that I like so what do I do? I look back down. Suddenly another pair of hands are picking up the broken pieces of glass and when I look up again I see Nicholai crouched down helping me. The gesture stirs the butterflies that were lying dormant in my stomach. This was always Nicholai, he never failed to surprise me. I guess somethings just never change. I wonder what Rose would think if she knew about.... and just like that my thoughts pause.
Rose.
She has been awfully quiet and should've been here helping me with this instead of Nicholai. With that thought I look up my eyes scanning for my supposed friend to find her leaning against the counter with a huge ass grin sitting her face while she chews away at the left over cake from lunch time rush hour, and to top it off Mrs. Fetcher deemed it necessary to join with same grin on her face. Do the people in my life not know danger when they see it in a suit? "Rose...." I drag out her name with narrowed eyes. "Why are you just standing there? come and help me please." I literally begged her with my eyes. I'm scared out of my mind right now, but I guess with being so used to hiding it all these years she's mistaking my fear for nervousness. Damn it Rose, now is not the time to choose him of all people as a potential suitor. He will literally end me. Either ignoring or genuinely not understanding my little cry for help, she sends me a smile so innocent she could've fooled the devil and further digs me into my grave. "You got all the help right there Lexi, and as you can see I'm busy with a very demanding customer." She points to Mrs. Fetcher who apparently realized my cafe actually has a menu and is confused on what to order. Sighing in frustration, I look down to my problem still crouched down on the floor cleaning up my mess. Fear consumes me once again. He doesn't understand what he has done. Bending down again, I help with the remaining glass and get up and walk to throw it away so fast the flash would be proud of me. My attempts at running though have apparently been deemed useless, because following right on my tail is the man who signed my death certificate, you'd think he would catch the hint right now. Agitated with the whole situation I turn and look at the man I once loved. "What are you doing here Nicholai? What do you want?" I ask my voice quivering from the fear that has intensified seeing that I'm alone with him. Maybe he is here to torment me or maybe they testing me to see if I would tell him what they have done to me. I inwardly scoff, as if he would believe me. My mind is running a mile a minute and it's killing me. I need answers.
"Can we talk please?" when I finally managed to gather the guts to look at him, I see that he is showing me the slightest bit of emotion as if that is all he could manage at the moment. Nodding my head slightly, still unsure I lead the way to my office for some privacy, inwardly scolding myself for digging further into my grave. Arriving at the mahogany door of my office I let the both of us inside. Gesturing to the small chair in front of my desk, signaling for him to go there. "Sit." I meekly whisper. His eyes seemed pained and confused at the fear and meekness that he sees in me. No longer the girl he once knew with the spunky personality, just a shell that stood in front of him, which I was. He sat down in the office chair. My little office wasn't as big as to be expected but it fit perfectly for me. The mahogany and white walls giving off a warm and eerily feeling that welcomes you and the little couch to the left corner makes you feel that homey feeling knowing that you can take a break and get comfortable. The large brown desk sitting in the center room scattered with unfinished paper work shows the environment means business despite the homely touches I made here and there. It was perfect for me. Making my way to behind my desk I sit down, thankful for the space it provides between me and Nicholai, otherwise I wouldn't be responsible for the anxiety attack that's bound to happen, my fear blocking all rational thoughts. Nicholai looks at me, his eyes scanning my face, my body as if looking for something, answers... answers I can never give and as if finding what he was looking for his bright green eyes snap up to mine and he starts speaking. "What happened to you Alexa?" I wasn't in the least bit surprised he asked me that. I knew it was coming and the sad part is I can't answer him, I'm too afraid of the consequences and I really didn't want to go back. Tears sprang to my eyes thinking of the dark room that has kept me prisoner for six months. The amount of times I begged to be let out, screaming for Nicholai to come and save me even if he didn't want me anymore. I remember the emptiness of my tummy and the rawness on my skin. My hands start to tremble at those thoughts and I immediately cease them. My answer to him is just a trembling silence. "What do you want Nicholai?" I asked again my voice cracking in the end. I don't how much longer I can hold myself together. I just want to crawl in a corner and cower from him. Wrap myself in a protective ball that will keep all the bad that came with him away from me.
I'm drowning right now in my own self pity, in my sadness and fear. The need to take the pain away intensifies and all I can think about is the blade sitting on my nightstand in my apartment. The urges causes my breath to hitch and all the oxygen feels like it's strangling me instead of providing the air I need to breath. A warm hand covers mine and my head snaps up to the man sitting in front of me looking every bit concerned, the man that caused this turmoil to happen inside because of my fear for him. Only then realizing the trembling of my body and the tears trailing down my eyes. Humiliated, I roughly wipe away the tears and compose myself.
'You need to get your act together' I inwardly chastise myself. Putting on my usual fake facade of kindness and professionalism as I look back to Nicholai. "I'm sorry, I'm just overwhelmed at seeing you." I give a fake smile. "What did you want to talk about?" Seeing that I don't want to talk about my actions from earlier he goes back to blank and cold looking every bit the business man he had become. "I came by to talk to the owner of this building because I want to buy it in order to build a club and the owner sold it to me, so this little shop needs to be evacuated in order for me to knock the building down... I didn't know you were the owner of this place Alexa." To say I was shocked was an understatement. I can't lose this shop it's all that I have that's keeping me sane and I don't think I can afford to relocate. There are so many people who come here that I have formed a bond with or have a relationship with, and to have this place teared down would be just as hard for them as it is for me, but he wouldn't know that.
"Y-you want to what?" I whispered so softly I wasn't sure if he heard me. Obviously I heard everything he said, but I'm so overwhelmed by the news, I needed to hear it again. "I'm not really in the habit of repeating myself Alexa." He tells me sternly. "But what do I do? Do you really think I can afford to move or open a new cafe? This place is all I have! Nicholai you... you can't do this to me please?" I begged, my voice cracking in the end. He doesn't understand I need this place. "Alexa what are you talking about? your parents have enough money to help build a venture bigger than this, don't be stubborn." I stiffened at that. "NO!" I all but shouted. As much as love my parents and all, I want nothing to do with the money they have. Not because it's bad or anything but it'll make me a target to my family. I don't want to be part of the drama that has to do with the family business. "Isn't there a way to compromise? like a deal... what can I do for you to help me relocate and make sure that I still have a small business to run in a good area?" I ask out of desperation. I don't mind giving him the building as long as he helps me get a new one and there are no risks of me losing that as well. My offer seemed to have shocked him for a minute, probably not expecting me to propose a compromise. He seemed to be in thought for a while making me anxious for his answer.
What if he says no?
What if he just kicks me out and laughs to my face for being so ridiculous?
Maybe he already thinks of me as pathetic, so I wouldn't be in the least surprised. I already know how pathetic I can be.
Seeming to have come to a solution.... Nicholai looks at me his expression giving nothing away. "I will help you find and build your business and all I want from this deal is...." He pauses studying my face as if trying to read what my reaction would be when he finishes his sentence and that makes my present fear for him grow.
"I want you Alexa." he finishes. My entire body freezes and I could've sworn my heart literally stopped beating for a second. I didn't just hear him say that, but looking at the expectant look on his face confirms that I had indeed heard correct. Looking into the green of his beautiful eyes I see that he is more than serious with his proposal. In a voice that sounded way too distant for my ears I cracked out.
"W-what?!"