"W-what?"
To say I was shocked and scared out of my mind was an understatement. I could feel my face pale at his words, and my hands started trembling at the thought of being anywhere near Nicholai and his family. He must be crazy if he thinks that I'll literally hand myself to him on a silver platter. This could be a set up. That thought alone sent a shiver down my spine. Could they have told Nicholai what happened and his here now to torture me more? What could he possibly want with me. If I remember correctly, Nicholai had told me that he didn't want me. Maybe this was his way of mocking me, like saying ' You are mine to do with as I please and I will once again leave you to the torture of loving me and having to see me walk away and break your heart' His making headlines in the part of my brain that has gone crazy a while back. I'm a dead woman. I thought.
Nicholai was a very very rich man. I know this because unfortunately he was in every magazine I have read and sometimes in the store when I was just going through them. He owned the countries biggest tech company and car dealership, with a chain of hotel and restaurants across the world. His influence in the business world was uncanny. Nicholai was also known to be the country's most sought out bachelor, though as far as the magazines know he is not interested in marriage. What has been trending in the tabloids though was the different girls in his bedroom every night. How they get this information still baffles me. My point being that Nicholai was never seen with the same girl and from what he stated he never planned to. So imagine the uproar bound to happen when The Nicholai Adomos is seen with little old me. Yeah that kind of attention he can keep to himself. Besides his family, they would..... I can't finish my thoughts, I can't go to that place again.
I looked at him, like really looked at him and what I saw was a man who would make sure he got what he wanted.
"I.Want.You." He said again, his deep voice more stern as he put emphasis on each word. "N-no." I stuttered out, my voice small and weak as I stood up backing away from him. He looked at me worry and confusion etched on his god like face. I moved further to the back shaking my head. "No no no no, I wont go back there." I slid down the wall as the memories of the dark room flashed to the forefront of my mind, causing my breath to hitch. My head started spinning and I started to hyperventilate. I was having another panic attack. "I wont go back, I wont go back." I chanted over and over, my heart ached as I started rocking back and forth.
"Alexa! Alexa look at me." A faint voice said coaxing me to look up. I looked into sea green eyes and immediately thought of the ocean. The ringing in my ears started to fade and I could hear the smooth voice of a man telling me to breath. "Deep breath in, deep breath out." his voice washed over me, calming me down, my body starting to relax as I followed his instructions. "There you go, that's it.... just breath." Nicholai seemed to relax slowly when he saw that I was calming down. He looked at me, searching my face as if trying to make sure that I wasn't going to panic again. When he found nothing he settled beside me inhaling a deep breath. He kept his distance from me which I appreciated greatly. His presence calmed me but scared me all at once. Today did not go as planned. It's been so long since I've had a panic attack, and never has anyone ever been around to witness me in such a state. With that thought I immediately stiffened and my face heated with embarrassment. He had just seen me panic in front of him. That thought alone mortified me to no end. When I turned to look at him, he was already looking at me, as if trying to figure out what had caused my reaction to his words. My lips curled, a sign showing that no matter what I wasn't going to give him any clue as to what had caused my distressed. Seeing my resolve Nicholai looked away and up at the ceiling releasing a long sigh. We sat in an awkward silence which lasted for about a minute, but felt like hours, then Nicholai looked at me again. "What did they do to you?" My head whipped in his direction shocked, the color draining from my face. He was looking at me so intensely not showing a hint of what he was thinking, his expression blank. "What are you talking about?" I asked barely above a whisper but he heard me. His expression changed from blank to a hint of anger. "Don't act dumb with me Alexa! I know that this sudden fear of yours has something to do with my parents." he stated, his body tensing. "Alexa.... there was a reason I broke your heart all those years ago." I was once again shocked by Nicholai. I looked at him timidly not trusting the words coming out of his mouth. All I could see though was raw pain and sincerity. I was confused and curious all at once. My mind was screaming at me though, warning me not to trust a thing he is telling me. "Alexa...." He sighed, probably exhausted from the unexpected day we are both having. "What I said to you that day was all lies. You see I was being blackmailed by my dad. I was planning on going to the nearby college so that I didn't have to move away from you and then apply to the same college as you when it was your time to go." He looked down as he was explaining his actions five years ago. "You already know that I had started the business in tech already at that time, you being the only one I told after Zunaid, so that we could build it together." He stated looking at me. The memory of that was as clear to me as the blue sky. Nicholai wanted to be a young billionaire when we were kids. I had helped him save up to start a small enterprise secretly with his best friend Zunaid. The two of them were so good at electronics at the age of 18, Nicholai needed Zunaid to keep the small company running when he went off to Yale. What they planned, Nicholai would help Zunaid from where he was, and build it up from there. He wanted to start off early and kick off further as he gained the experience from school. "I wanted to.... stay." He looked pained, as if the event had happened yesterday. "Alexa I was trying to protect you, but when I came back everyone was acting so strangely. I'm trying to find enough evidence. I want to put my family down." I don't know how to feel about this. What he just confessed couldn't be true. This was a trap to lure me in. They weren't done hurting me. "I wont fall for this. I-it's a trick. You're going to do what they did to me, why else would you suddenly just show up? Do you really think I'm that stupid. You're a liar." I was shaking with fear, my voice coming out small but sharp. I was shaking my head, I don't believe him. "Alexa look at me!" Nicholai said, holding my shoulder. My head shot up, looking into his beautiful green eyes. They looked genuine and concerned. I could see what he was trying to do. He wanted to assure me that he was telling me the truth. I'd known him almost all my life, and I could tell that he has been suffering in his own way as well. Maybe just maybe, Nicholai could protect me from them. An idea slowly started forming in my head. I'm doing this for the sake of my business and my safety. There has to be a way for me and Nicholai to make this work, but I'll need to trust him first.
"What do you want from me?" I asked. "Why do you want me?" I looked at him, my eyes searching for an answer. "I know you can't and wont trust me, but I want you. Give me you and I'll give you you're business." He said. "So you want me to sell myself off like some whore?" I asked a hint of anger in my otherwise soft tone. " No!" Nicholai said with so much force like I had just offended him. That's right my guy, feel it. I thought deviously. Nicholai wasn't that kind of guy. "This is the only way I know how to get you." The damn arrogant man. I looked at him with a deadpan look, portraying what I was feeling. Asshole. "Threatening my business, what a good way to earn my trust." I replied sarcastically. There was a hint of a smile on his face. He looked to me with amusement. "I was wondering where your spunky attitude went." he stated. I paused, only now realizing how I had answered him. Maybe he is what I need to find myself again. I gave him a small smile. I missed this. I missed him.
I looked at him this time with a resolve that could either make or break me. I really hope I wouldn't regret this decision. But I need both my business and Nicholai's protection. With a deep breath and confidence I never had in seven years, I told Nicholai my decision.
"I'll give you want you want Nicholai...." I begun, "But there are rules and conditions in order for me to give you myself." his perked at this "What do you want?"
"This affair will only be conducted when and where I say. No one can know what's going on between you and I. I want your protection and there is no prying into my life. You can't know my secrets and your family must never find out you so much as looked at me. I don't condone any affairs, you remain loyal to me till I decide I've had enough. Nicholai....." I said my voice coming out stronger than I expected.
"Our affair will only take place at night."