Life is supposed to be decided, but mine wasn't anything of the sort. That wasn't much of an issue for me then, I did what I wanted and no one could tell me anything different. I just didn't care much for anything that didn't interest me that meant school included. My logic was simple if I didn't like something I wasn't getting my attention, no matter what anyone told me, my mum tried a to get me to interact with her and shit like that but after the first 2 occasions she gave up and said I was a lost cause and I flipped her off and told her it didn't bother me that "she was no longer bothering with me anymore" it wasn't like she had done to begin with besides I loved my life I go out when I want, eat whatever I want and do whatever I please. no one could or would give me shit for it and if they tried it'd be on the rare occasion when they're was a crowd around and they actually wanted to seem like they gave a shit. I had made up my mind from early on that this was it and I wasn't about to waste my time listening to a bunch of rules given by a bunch of asswholes who didn't follow them themselves. that was until he come into my life, if my life wasn't already a colosal mess it was about to be.
Chapter 1
page 1: electra
its 1am and Emmas giving me the same look she aways gives me every time she's trying to pluck up the courage to tell me she wants to leave to go meet her twat of a boyfriend Paul so they can fuck in his beat down Nissan, "Emma if you keep giving me them eyes im going to take them out of your head and wear them around my neck". "well its just I know you're not going to be happy with me but-". "stop yourself right there, we do this song and dance enough your going to give me them sad eyes for the next half hour and ask me if its ok to leave me so you can go shag Paul in his shitty Nissan whilst I make daggers at you for leaving me early again on a night out, so let me save you the trouble. go." but then her face starts doing something I've never seen before and if I cared enough I would think the Molly we popped half an hour ago was about to come back up from Emma's mouth along with her Sundays roast, but instead Emma turns to me and says "umm actually no, look don't hate me but Pauls actually coming along and he's bringing Bryce and couple of their other friends..." great.just fucking great. Emma must be able to sense that im about to wrap my hands around her neck and throttle her because she's now looking at me like I've grown two heads either that or I actually have. "honestly this could be good for you to see him you know since the whole finger-" "Emma! youve got to be shitting me. im leaving!" but Emma clearly has no sense of boundaries and thinks it'll be a good idea to continue following me out of the house even though I've asked her "politely" to fuck off for the 100th time on the way out. But of course instead of that she must continue to push me, i'm lighting my fag when Emma puts her hand out for one, this chick has got to be shitting me. "come on don't be stingy electra.. lecciiii..., come on I said i'm sorry"- I take a hard drag on my cigarette "umm actually no you didn't" -"oh well I meant to, besides what do you care whats Bryce and a few of his friends to you" I form my lips into a hard line trying not to explode on the spot, I pinch the bridge of my nose almost ashing all over myself "did it ever occur to you that perhaps I wanted to get with someone else tonight and not have Bryce running after me with his tail in-between his legs all night long". thats not the truth though honestly just don't care for Bryce and wanted to spend the night out with em."you still can me and Paul will keep him distracted besides he'll probably be too busy with all of his weirdo mates, come on pleaseeee stayyyy" classic emma does something she knows will set me off and now she's giving me the puppy dog eyes. "alright Jesus ill stay just stop staring at me like that you creep, you owe me Paul better be bringing me a present.
Page 2.
As Emma and I are making our way through the cramped smoky house I hear a familiar voice calling at us and I literally cringe. Before I've even had the chance to turn and run off Emmas grabbed my arm and spun me around. and there he is in all his glory Bryce. alone Bryce is alone with out Paul and whoever he's bought and honestly I might throw myself through the window if he's alone I surely won't make it through the night if Pauls been arrested and lost all his gear ill have to listen to Emma and Bryce whinge all night and i'm not nearly as fucked up as I need to be to do that, im about to ask where Paul is when Bryce beats me to it "Pauls bringing in the drinks with Blake and those lots, so I thought I would quickly come say hey" Emmas eyes are bulging out of her head and I think I might puke if I have to listen to Bryce speak any longer , gosh Paul! where are you with my drugs?! my thoughts are cut off when Emma says " wai-tt Bryce are you talking about Blake Blake like 2nd year college Blake, drug dealer Blake!? what the hells he doing here if Kelly finds out he's here she gonna lose her shit" Bryce seems nonchalant about it and shrugs it off by saying "look its sorted, well kind of besides Blake doesn't even deal like that anymore not thanks to her anyway ". it must be obvious that i'm completely out the loop about this guy thats coming to the party because Bryce continues "he used to sell to Kelly and a couple of her mates and he was seeing this one girl, well sleeping with her and he ended up selling one girl-" but he's cut off by Emma kicking his shin trying to keep him from saying anymore at first i'm confused until I hear Pauls voice along with some one else behind him. Blake.
page 3.
Paul and his friend who I can only presume is Blake are standing directly behind me blocking me whilst I'm still trying to think of 99 different ways of getting out of talking to Bryce, I've started to think that jumping through the window wouldn't be such a bad idea after all when Paul disrupts my thoughts, "lovely to see you two electra" he says sarcastically as he pushes past to see Emma. "oh seriously Paul Emmas right here try not to suck my cock too much yeah?" Emma and Paul are both now flipping me off as they shove their tongues down each others necks, I think I might puke. "ANYWAY. did you bring anything nice for me today?" Paul barely even removes his mouth from Emma when he gestures to Blake, I turn my attention to brooding boy and turn to paul "yeah hes lovely but I was actually looking for something white and powdery that comes in a little plastic packet before me and whistle at him to grab his attention but I get nothing not even a quit blink of an eye he's just staring into space not giving a fuck that he's got my drugs acting as if I'm not here with some sort of blank expression across his face. after seconds of me clicking my fingers closer and closer to his face he finally looks up to bring his eyes to meet mine his face mirrors no emotion whatsoever but I can't decide if thats just his dark features making him look so lifeless or if just like me he doesn't care to be around these people either. he just stares and says absolutely nothing so it looks like I'm going to have to take the first move here, "well?" I'm taken aback when he completely blindsided me and says flatly- " well what?". honestly if the Molly I had taken much earlier hadn't started to wear off I would actually think that I was imaging this ignorant son of a bitch. "you've got to be shitting me right? but he cuts me off before I can finish "no actually princess in this case I'm not 'shitting' you", as if Emma inviting Paul and Bryce to come along wasn't bad enough I'm now I having to deal with an intolerable emotional head trying run mouth to me swell on top of that. I take one last breath in oder to stop myself from taking Blakes head and caving his scull into kealies fire place but with a puff of my breath he's rolling his eyes and stalking off away from the "conversation" we where just having and leaving me with that my last patience for this night. as I stalk toward him I hear Emma telling Paul to go after me in her perfect 'mum voice' all concerned but Paul obviously has more sense than my beloved friend and tells her to leave it. that or he really wants a show tonight. "hey asshole our conversation wasn't done" turning he says"umm funny that I was sure that it was when I walked away". I pinch the bridge of my nose in an attempt to cool down"look I'm trying real hard right now not boot you into next weekend but luckily enough for you I want my shit". his laugher fills the room and venom pours through my veins as he keeps taking me for a joke. "oh how very lucky of me unluckily for you however I have nothing for you." "well funny that but you obviously do since Paul told me to come to you dick face". "thats not a very nice way to speak to someone who has something of yours that you want oh so dearly". my patience is wearing thin and I'm about to snap. "look-". but im cut off "no you look I've got nothing for you now back off, I don't know who lets you talk them like this but it isn't going to run with me so just stop embarrassing yourself" he's toying with me whilst wearing the widest smirk possible I close the space between us until we're neck in neck. " you shouldn't mess with whats mine I don't like it very much and my patience is starting to wear thin with this back and forth", this only makes him shake his head in amusement though"oh really because I was rather enjoying the little junkie in front of me clicking her fingers just so she could get a hit". my blood has turned cold and I seriously think about throwing him and myself out this window at this point. "junkie!?" I almost choke from scoughing so hard. "why yes that is what you call people like yourself" I lift my hand to slap him but I'm caught off guard when a hand stops me in my tracks. his hand to be exact, no Bryce, no Paul and no Emma. by myself just me and some dick who won't give me what I want most right now to calm my anger when I need it most. "I wouldn't pull a move like that again if I were you" he says flatly. "or what, what are you possibly going to do to stop me? take your hands off of me. "I don't think you'd like to see what I do to girls like you." a smirk plays on his lips and if I wasn't mistaken I would think he was getting a right kick out of this. "you've never met anyone like me, believe me." I shoot back. "oh really so your not like every other chick here who thinks she can click her fingers and get whats she wants".
page 4.
my anger has built to a point where there is no coming back and honestly I'm afraid for him and everyone in reaching point of me. "ill take your silence as I'm right then, now if I drop your arm, you aren't going to try and hit me again righhtttt" if I was normal I would comply and just find anyone else to get something off but I'm not and honestly I refuse to allow him to get the better of me. ironically however by me doing so I'm allowing him too, silence and deep scowls remain between us as I rip my arm away from him. "don't pout sweetheart its not very cute, now what is it that you want?" I try to work out his angle here, I'm beyond furious because I'm pretty sure through out this conversation he's told me he has nothing for me. "well thats funny I'm pretty sure I came here asking what you have for me?" he's eyeing me now and I suddenly feel uncomfortable he remains silent forcing me to break the awkwardness. "god your irritating, you got a gram, pills, Benzo?" and just like that he's no longer muteness tipping his head back in laughter. "oh my fuck your serious!? Benzo are you fucking kidding me I thought you wanted some weed I'm not giving you none of that shit." "because you don't have any...-". his eyes are burning and its only now occurred to me that his eyes are deep green laced with red probably from drink and whatever other drug he's taken. "no because I'm not giving you that shit, what are you trying to do party or black out" I answer far too quickly "both". now its he who looks infuriated and I quite like it being on the other foot, however I'm growing tired of this conversation and all I want is to get my shit and get on with my night. rolling my eyes and letting go of a big breath that I hadn't realised i was holding i say "look as lovely as this conversation has been, all i want are a couple bits and to move on with my night and honestly I didn't ask for a parent i asked for a drug dealer and honestly your doing an awful job at that". he sucks in a harsh breath and says " well sweetheart i'm no drug dealer so you've come to the wrong person". rolling my eyes I begin to walk away when he says"where do you think you're going this conversation isn't done " so I fire back "umm funny that I'm sure it was when I started walking away" using his words against him "oh and to look for someone who's got bits duh, I didn't just stand with you for the past half hour to continue the rest of my night in sobriety". he grabs me by arm once again this time spinning me around to face him "i told you once before already tonight to get your hands off of me" his eyes are murderous and i'm begin to feel the heat rising in my body again.making a mental note to thank Paul for bringing his dick of a friend. "look whats your problem, you mad that i'm not putting the money in your pocket. well thats life you don't have anything I want-" but once again he cuts me off "i never said i dint have what you wanted, I said I wasn't giving you anything". i'm getting tired of this continuous conversation that keeps leading to a place I don't like. "whats the difference i want drugs you have drugs but you don't want to give me said drugs because your an asshole". and with that he lets go of my arm and i'm free to find the night that i came here for.
page 5.
After spending the last hour looking for someone who had bits I finally give up and go sit on the steps outside letting the cold hit me sending a shiver right through me taking me over the edge underneath my fishnets goosebumps rise on my legs and then when Emma jumps out from around the bushes with Paul the two of them are laughing fiddling with their clothes and I internally gag at the thought of them two. they walk toward me with giant smiles on their faces and I all I can think about doing is cutting Pauls dick off and choking Emma with it for ruining my night Emma begins to speak but I cut her off "no em not right fucking now." " I just wanted-" "I said not now Em!" rising to my feet I stand up and tread on my fag that I had only lit moments ago stalking into the house with Emma and Paul left in my dust. who am i oh so dearly honoured with bumping into but Bryce himself. "just fucking great!"but without realising the words had already left my brain and come from my mouth. Bryce is staring at me and i'm sure he's trying to be endearing but i could give less of a shit right now. "what Bryce?!", "jeez whats got into your knickers I just wanted to know if wanted to split a pill with me", and just like that Bryce was no longer public enemy one. the idea of me being a terrible person for using Bryce now that he has what I want is not lost on me, however the only thought going through my head at this very moment in time is that he is my way out of this terrible place and into the next dimension its ironic really as he was half the reason I wanted to leave this god for saken party but now here I am about a split a pill with him to get off my nut. I slide up onto the worktop whilst Bryce makes our drinks waiting for him to pass my half as i'm about to plop half the pill into my mouth its knocked from my hand and within minutes i'm up on my feet in a frenzy looking for the prick who's trying to ruin my night further, at first I think its Bryce trying to play a sick joke on me for the way i've been treating him but when i look up from the boot that has now crushed my pill I see that it is not but rather all too familiar piercing green eyes staring back at me. my body is rigid and I swear Bryce is arguing with Blake but everything has gone mute to me so I'm not quite sure. my high from the Molly I had taken much much earlier has surely completely subsided by now and any alcohol I had consumed has stilled. Leaving me with pure fire and hatred in my eyes for one person in particular. Everything I have tried to supress tonight up until this point has hit me all at once and before I know it I'm jumping at Blake and everyone is around me screaming trying to grab me away, for a breath moment I see Emma trying to get through as Paul's pushing past people to stop me but its too late. Attack mode has been ativated and blood is pounding in the back of my head i'm on fire. My adrenalin hire than any pill could offer, all common sense has left me and before I know it I've taken a empty beer bottle from the side and I've smashed it over Blakes head? or at this point I'm unsure of who's who and before I can really see whats going on I'm being flung over a shoulder and dragged out into the cold. I see red lots of it, but its no longer just my anger betraying my eyes this is blood and lots of it. Everywhere.