page 6.
Any air that was left has now been kicked from under me and I'm being launched over somebodies shoulder and taken toward the exit, the crisp breeze of the night hits me, Hard. feeling like a hundred needles have been pushed into my spine taking away the tension that had built up only now leaving me with goose bumps and a sense of realisation. You see in the heat of everything I had loss all common sense if I ever did have any that is. I'm finally put down and I am aware of who I'm standing in front of I continue staring in utter disbelief as I was sure it was him that I had hit but he is in front of me with not a single mark on him apart from the blood that stains his shirt which more than likely has come from me. It takes me a minute to realise that neither of us has said anything and I'm now being ushered into a car. There is nothing but silence filling the air of this sleek car that I can only presume is his. The silence is cut short when the key is put into the ignition and the engine comes to life with a roar honestly if I wasn't in a daze id probably make a cocky remark along the lines of guys who drive cars like thease have tiny pricks but instead I don't I just listen to us moving all until 5 minutes when we've pulled over again. for a minute I think Blake might actually try to kick me out of his car but when he pulls the key of ignition and slams his head against the steering wheel in defeat I'm mistaken. He looks up letting his green eyes meet mine for no longer than a second when his mouths starts moving ruining everything. "you're a fucking hazard to everyone and yourself you know that and you have the cheek to sit here and continue being a brat." "you're not being serious are you?! last time I checked I'm in this situation because of you, you continued being the obnoxious ass hole that you are the entire night and ruined everyones time. not me!" I'm scoff. "good time! you would have been foaming at the mouth within 5 minutes of popping that pill if it wasn't for me . love! not to mention you would have been face planted on some bed getting violated by Bryce or some other wasted slimy weasel at that party" he spits back. I don't say anything. because honestly I have nothing to say and I couldn't care for this speech coming from some stranger that stomped all over my goodnight. so instead I laugh and roll my head. Blakes eyes turn from inflamed to cold within a flash and suddenly the car no longer feels as spacious as it once did and Blake is now only mere centimetres away from my face. "w-what are you doing" the words stumble out and the calm exterior that I was putting on have been betrayed by my words. he's pulling something out of his pocket and is shoving it in my face mocking me " you wanted to get fucked so come on darling get one of these down your neck let me show you what a good night really is."he says sinisterly. " what the fuck is wrong with you stop it."I spit frantically trying move from his grasp " whats wrong princess you want me to feed it to you as well as supply it now too". This strange grudge guy who I have known for approximately 4 hours has taken one of the tiny pills out of the baggy and is waving it in my face.I try to back up towards the window to create a space between us but it only makes him inch closer to me, the back of my heads now leaning against the window and he's hovering over me and our breathing has hitched. "come on you was so eager before,so open up" he's smiling and I feel sick to my stomach as he grabs a hold of both of my cheeks with his big hand and my legs start kicking at him trying to get him to stop but I can he's far to big for me to take on from the position that I'm in".
page 7.
"get the fuck off of me" I try to scream but it comes out as more of a mumble as he has my cheeks pushed together I'm panicking but theres nothing more that I can do other than just sit here and watch as his plan to assault me unfolds I can feel the tears springing to my eyes threatening to spill as I feel his breath on my skin and I'm trapped beneath him watching him laugh at me "whats wrong I thought this would be right up your street you know take you to a dark place feed you up with some drugs and get you all ready, I thought you preferred being fucked against your will like the whore you are!" his words cut deep and sting me! I let a tear slip from my eye, it runs down my cheek and on to his his large busted hand he moves his hand slowly only making me flinch before I realise he is wiping away the tear that was once there and with that I let go of the breath I had been holding on to and Blake moves over to the side of the car he was once sitting at and rests his back against his window the same as i so that we are still facing each other. I try to move so that I can leave and get as far away from this freak as possible but he pulls my arm to stop me. "don't leave, let me drive you home". I scoff at the idea that he thinks I would possibly let him do so " your funny right you attack me and then think I'm going to let you take me home." " I didn't attack you" he rolls his eyes back like what I said didn't actually happen "I'm sorry but are you fucking retarded you had me cornered-" but he cuts me off by waving the tiny baggy towards me " I was putting you into check because thats what would had happened to you tonight if not worse if I hadn't been there to stop you so you're welcome." "I'm sorry-" "apology accepted now where do you live so I can drop you home and get your whiny obnoxious ass out of my car" he smirks. "me the obnoxious one? you've got to be kidding me I'm not obnoxious! I'm fucking endearing mate!" Blakes now hysterically laughing "oh so you admit your whiny then". I'm scowling at him which makes him laugh more " just drop me back to the party". he immediately stops laughing purses his lips into a thin line and says" oh so you're a great comedian too now apparently". "whats that supposed to mean" I reply back dryly. " it means if you actually think its a smart move to go back to that party then your stupider than I thought you were". " well funny that I didn't ask for your opinion". "did you honestly not learn anything about what just happened in this car 10 minutes ago or do I need to drill it into your head some more because you see your not as brave as you'd like everyone to believe in fact your just another one of these girls that has no clue in what there doing with themselves so she just shoves a ton load of shitty drugs into her body to try to have a good night and make everyone around her think she's as hard as nails when in reality she's scared shitless of herself and what she's doing to her already miserable life." The dynamic of tonight has changed about 10 times in this car let alone the whole night one minute we arguing then Blakes attacking me then we're laughing together with him only returning back to his obnoxious asshole self. this time it isn't me being closed in on I have the upper hand on Blake and i think about slapping him but instead I bring my face to his and say, "no let me tell you. what I did learn is that someone supposedly was going to try drug and rape me tonight and that the asshole who stopped it is now trying to stop me again from smashing this persons front teeth in also another thing. I don't know whats going on up in that sick twisted mind of yours but don't try label me as that because you don't know shit about me." "oh so what is you think your going to do then sweetheart rock up in there covered in the blood of the person you hit to start a another fight!"
page 8.
silence. complete silence fills the air whilst I try to pull my finger out of my asshole to give Blake the answer he is looking for that apparently I can't find, so instead I pull on the car door and head out off into the dark but not quick enough when I hear Blakes raged breathing closing in behind me, my thoughts are once again cut short by his obnoxious ways "this is real fun having to baby sit you and all but its home time now" I laugh a hideous laugh that has never left my mouth before and say "I don't need a baby sitter and im sure as hell if people were looking for someone to watch their kids you would be last on the list" silence again. " you know what with all the tattoos and the fact that you literally scream drug addict" this etclites something in him though because with in seconds im met with a deep scowl across his face, its time for me to have a little fun of my own now "oh right fuck! your not the addict you just make the addicts , or or! you're both that would be a real cliche wouldn't it?! oh I've struct something hear. lets see you used to be the dealer everyone went to but you gave out a bad batch now no one trusts your shit, hurt someone real bad did ya" before I can finish torturing him his hands are around my throat" I want to say something anything to make him feel how he made me feel in the car but I caught off guard with hands round my neck and the pair of raged deep green eyes staring back at me , he lets go of my neck in a huff and just says "you know what fuck you! fuck it, make your own way home." I'm laughing really laughing now as Blake strides off but before he gets into his car and takes one last look at me I show him my award wining smile and flip him off "goodnight Blake". The sound of Blakes obnoxious engine leaves my ears ringing and with cold hitting me harder now that I'm completely sober I find myself wishing I had just gotten back in the car rather than being the brat that I am. not that he would ever know that. With the cold air hitting my back and a long walk to where ever im headed resolution has finally come over me and I can finally breath again its a calming feeling not something im quite used to when being sober it feels good so I decide to take myself home instead of chasing a high like I had been doing for the entirety of tonight.
Paige 9.
I'm woken by hundreds of texts, ones I'm sure I don't want to read in the light of day. so instead of reading them I delete them and I roll out of my pit and head to the bathroom to be met with a pare of glaring eyes. judgement as clear as day rest on my 'mothers' face when she asks " no text, no calls, not a I'm alive mum, no!? just rock up whenever you like wearing close to nothing-" sighing and walking past her down the hall to the bath room trying to ignore the abuse that is now being thrown my way I slam the door, I take a long look at the reflection staring back at me in the mirror I'm still covered in someones blood that must be why she's having such a bitch fit this morning I look a wreck. But mother hasn't dropped it there, no she's hot on my tail thudding her hands against the wooden frame of the bathroom door but all I can mange to say is "my god would you leave me the fuck alone!" she doesn't take much liking to this as I hear a screech escape her lips " oh no don't you dare electra! you think you can fuck off and come back whenever you please! not in my house I will not have my daughter out about parading herself off like some tart in those skimpy clothes! you think this is life you get to use this house as a b&b to sleep away your hang overs and come downs? well its not happening anymore you hear me, you want to ruin your life fine by me but I've had it up to hear with you thinking you can do what you like when you like-" swinging the door open I'm met with her face that is screwed into a ball as she scowls at me I let out a laugh and say "are you done yet because this is rather tedious" I push my fingers into air quotations to signify the ridiculousness of it all as I say "you know since I haven't been able to 'sleep off my hangover and come downs' which for your information penni last night I didn't do either so". she's raging now pointing her fingers in my face telling me how much of a fuck up I am spitting vile words at me that I don't even pretend to listen to as I take a baby wipe to wash the remainder of the blood off my face and change my shirt. for a lot of people this would be classed as abuse but this is our daily routine. I stroll in from wherever I've been the night before my mum throws a fit I roll my eyes, laugh and flip her off its just kind of our thing I suppose to the point where if it were to stop id probably miss it although I suppose I could do without all the dramatics on the days I actually am suffering from a come down, I had suggested that we leave the dramatics out once before but this only led to my mum physically dragging me by my hair out of the house but hey what is family for!?.
page 10.
finally free from the blood and eye liner from last night I throw a baggy shirt over yesterdays ripped tights pick my bag up and head downstairs to leave on the way down I can still hear my mum moaning about me to mike "her loving boyfriend". he's a fucking creep far too young for her but yet far too old for me not that it stops him from looking. mike creeps down the stairs after me pulling me by my elbow to look back at him scoffing "what do you want pervert" mikes lips form into a twisted smile " well that's not a nice way to greet your daddy now is it". practically gagging I rip my arm from him "oh getting creepier each day mike that one almost actually made me sick so what do I owe the pleasure this morning?" mike stares for far too long before I snap "wtf do you want Ugg!?" his eyes narrow and he pulls me by my arm "look you little tart I wouldn't talk to me like that-" cutting him off "oh whys that what you going to do huh, she's not stupid you know she sees the way you look at me with your beady little eyes it wont be long till your gone next" mike forces himself onto me so my backs up against the stair case in the slimiest whisper he says " I'm not going anywhere for now sweetheart and if you don't want to too id be on my best behaviour from now, hate to tell mummy that the reason you hate her new boyfriend is because you couldn't have him yourself" shaking I knee the perv in his bollocks causing him to scream "you fucking little bitch get back here" he's grabbed me as I've got to the door and mums come rushing down screaming "mike! get off of her! what on earth is going on here!?" I answer not giving mike a chance "what's happening is that mikes a pervert" but my mum just scoffs and shrugs me off "its true he was trying to force himself on me" my mums eyes go wide and mikes much quicker this time to defend himself and cuts me off "im sorry electra. but that didn't happen and I didn't want to do this but I cant have you lie like this, I was trying to get her to apologise to you pen for her behaviour- I scoff loudly interrupting him "your such a fucking liar!" but mum gives me stern look "electra shut up let him finish!" continuing mike says "all I did was touch her shoulder then before I know it shes trying to kiss me and obviously ive moved away but she got upset and kneed me in my crown jewels I know I shouldn't have grabbed her but I was caught off guard I know I should have acted like an adult I didn't even want to tell you I already know how much issues you two are going through I didn't want to make it worse-. "mum! this is bullshit! come on tell me you don't believe this shit?" looking at my mum half laughing at the idea that she could actually believe him but her eyes say it all "MUM!"- I scream whilst pleading with my eyes but she just walks away with head pinned to the ground shaking with judgement. "yeah walk away without even a question, round of applause for mum of the year- I'm cut off by my mums hand striking against my cheek im taken a back for a minute my eyes spring with tears "Electra I-". "fuck you" whilst my lip trembled trying to hold back the tears urging to break free I through my bag over my shoulder slamming the front door.
chapter 4:
page 11.
I've been walking around for the past half hour trying to get a hold of Emma I even tried Paul but no ones answering their phones I've texted and called numerous times but NOTHING, ill never understand why some people have phones when they never like to answer them I stop in the middle of the estate letting out a raged breath fuck this if no one wants to answer then I guess ill have to make my own fun. Digging through my bag I find my flask for emergencies full with all the good stuff, no one warms my heart quite like Mr Smirnoff does. I head towards the field that our group go to sometimes when there's no parties happening, its only about a fifthteen minute walk from the estate so it doesn't take me long to get there and by the time I've arrived at the field I've finished half my flask of Mr Smirnoff and some of the edge has been taken away. I cross the long gravel drive and walk over to the dried out field there's a few cars parked on the gravel but not anyone to be worried about, sometimes if there's lots of us drinking and getting out of hand police are called but doesn't seem like that's going to happen any time soon especially with most people being at college still. Anyone say party for one?, I get comfy feeling the dry grass rubbing against my thighs and start rolling my joint but just when I'm beginning to enjoy my silence its cut short by a hideous laugh. More importantly I know this laugh. that retched laugh belongs to my best mate Emma. Emma appears to be with the whole clang including Bryce, who tried to drug me just the night before. Bryce's face is in pretty bad shape,so that's who I must have hit in my frenzy, well its not like he didn't deserve it I just didn't know it at the time. what's weird is I had called and called Emma earlier and she hadn't even tried to give me a ring back. Paranoia taking over me I pick my bag and hide in the long dry grass and dial Emma's number watching her from a distance and surprise the bitch looks at her phone and hangs up, test 1 failed. Test 2 text her asking where she is, if she even responds that is but with in seconds she's replied oh but poor Emma has failed her second test "sorry at college with Paul got last minute work to finish" the text reads. Not a bad excuse, she knows id never go looking for her there however terrible for her to lie about her where about since I'm the person who gave them this spot in the first place. Before I know it my feet are moving for me, surprising the group I stupidly call my mates, I swing my arm around Emma "what if it isn't the rug rats" I let out a cackle. I know I'm the last person Emma expected to see here as her jaw is practically hanging by her knees and she's staring at Paul looking for some form of help.
page 12.
I can see Emma is wracking her brain for a good excuse but its a shame she's never been the brightest of flowers and I can see right through her fake smile, the silence is becoming annoying and I'm beginning to wish that Emma started to ramble on to whatever terrible lie she was thinking of because now I'm even more frustrated, Paul seeing this decides to take the reins "lec why don't we go for walk over here" he's treading lightly I can see it in the way his eyes are moving acratically between Emma and Bryce, " yeah why don't we do that Paul think that's a great idea actually" Paul must be able to sense the sarkyness in my tone because he immediately starts rambling "look ell don't take it personally I just don't reckon its a good idea we all hang out for a bit with what happened last night-" Scoffing-" what happened last night!? ill tell you what happened, your pervert of a friend was so desperate to get into my knickers he tried to drug me!". " I mean its hardly drugging Electra when you went round the whole night begging everyone and anyone to get you a bump besides it wouldn't be the first time you dropped your knickers for a bit of gear anyway". I suddenly feel the urge to do what I had done to Bryce's face but instead to Pauls. How dare he be so presumptuous, the arrogant twat. before I can stop myself the words have fallen from my lips "oh you mean like how Emma did for you, you mean" I grunt back at him, he's in my face now, that certainly got his back up breathing raged he says through gritted teeth ""watch your mouth you little slut" - "or what! What you going to do hit me? I know what type of guy you are Paul you're a greasy slime ball with no back bone that's why you pray of clueless little girls like Emma, get her to do whatever you want when you want it? I'll change that you know, I'm her best friend you can't keep her from me forever." Paul's wrapped his hand round my throat and I'm laughing at him hard this time "go on then hit me!" There's a pause of silence as paul finally let's go "like I said, no back bone." I turn to walk away and as I do paul laughs "she's sick of you, you know that elly it was her idea to lie to you today she can't stand the thought of having to be around you and deal with your bullshit she's finally seen you for the bitch that you are." Storming off I see Emma in the corner of my eye running after me. "Electra! wait, what just happen-ed!" "not right now Em I really don't want to talk" she's making it so difficult to not be a cunt. "Electra I'm sorry I lied its just Bryce-". my god Emma don't you ever shut the fuck up Jesus "just fuck off ". Great. there goes not being a cunt. Emma doesn't make a move to follow me but instead she stands there like a lost puppy and just shakes her head sighing " I can't keep doing this ells, when you want to talk call me but for now I'm done" I turn my head to face her and laugh " thought you was done when you decided to lie to me". I'm met with silence as I leave "my friends".
page 13.
The tears prick on my cheeks and I sluggishly wipe them away I'm substantially drunker than usual as I have no gear, my visions blurred from my tears but I decide to get myself together and call it a night usually after the shit storm of a day that I've had I would head to a party but I'm currently friendless and have no where to go so I head down the alley way in between the estate and the corner shops, to go home. The alleyway is pitch black with only a glimmer of light from the lamp post at the far end of it, I forget how long the stretch of it is and how cracked the pavement is I'm wobbly from all the alcohol which is making it extremely hard to walk in a straight line if anyone was in this ally way with me they would surely see my body swaying side to side I trip on my bootlace that came untied two roads ago and collide with the wall of the ally, my head is dazed as I try to pick myself up but that's when I get that feeling in the back of my throat it's warm and almost like a lump yes ladies and gentleman I have a hit an all time low I'm in my alleyway puking my guts up my head feels heavy and all I can think to do is to close my eyes to make the spinning stop. Now I know what you're thinking this isn't the brightest of my hours but at this moment in time it's the only thing my body will allow me to do. I allow my eyelids to drop when suddenly I feel a large hand touch me my first reaction is to swing my legs out no matter how drunk I am. The person lets out a loud groan and backs away as I slide up the wall my visions beginning to come back "fuck sake Electra what is wrong with you!?". "Blake!?" I ask. "Yes who else would it be!? He scoffs". "Umm pretty much anyone since it's an open alleyway you prick." " oh so you're aware that this isn't your personal private alleyway then and any weirdo could have got to you?" He's talking to me like a child again and it's honestly hurting my brain "funnily enough a weirdo did get to Me" I roll my eyes and begin to try to walk away but I stumble still far too drunk Blake reaches my side stoping me from colliding with the wall once again. I scowl at him but he just laughs. "What you doing walking down here anyway?" I ask. But only to be left with a gloomy stare.
Page 14.
Blake looks uncomfortable I can't make out why as I'm too intoxicated if I could stand the bastard I would think he's quite attractive but I can't so I throw away the thought. "Earth to Blake?!" I snap. "I saw you a few roads back and followed you in my car you were so out of it, you didn't even realise, I even beeped at you" he quickly recovers. I want to ask more questions but I'm afraid I'll vomit again. We begging to continue walking through the alleyway, Blake holding me upright as my body won't allow me to when a thought springs to mind, "wait why are we walking if you have your car" Blake rolls his eyes "my god do you always ask so many questions?". I narrow my eyes at Blake why is he being so jumpy and weird, "I haven't even begun to yet"I answer. "Well you're belligerently drunk and I don't want sick on my seats plus you could do with the cold air, where are you even going?". I let out a huge huff "look who's asking questions now" I slur back but, he chuckles and says "guess your rubbing off on me" he's staring down at me and an overwhelming sensation takes over as his green eyes pierce through mine his nose crinkles and his hair just slightly drops over his forehead the glimmer of the lamp post makes his eyes glisten in the most beautiful way but I have to push the thought back again. "Well I think the only thing of mine rubbing off on you is the sick in my hair".he jolts giving me a disgusted look "Do you always have to be such a bitch?". It's true I do always act like a bitch do I have to, no but I'm good at it " ugh you know what you can just leave me hear I don't need your help if you're going to be a dick". Blake sighs and carries on holding my body up right his grip is firm but feels gentle as if he's trying to be delicate with me... He's such a dick. "Home" I say. Blake looks confused as all hell whilst wearing a raised brow. "You asked me where I was going, I was going home" I reply dryly. Blake seems more confused that before "And now?". " I don't know the idea doesn't seem very appealing to me anymore" I let out a huge sigh and lean in to Blake's shoulder trying to keep my Balance, for someone who probably spends most of his time at parties he smells amazing mean while I smell like a toilet bowel, great.... "well you've got to go somewhere you can't just sleep in alleyways".
"Why's that? so weirdos like you can't get to me?" I let out a laugh but he just shakes his head " besides I have no where to go Emma and the rug rats have decided to dump me can you believe the cheek of that?" I snark at Blake. "You mean Paul decided to and Emma did what he told her to" I roll my eyes at Blakes comments but he presses on "what you know it's true everyone does, she follows Paul round like the lost puppy she is , she'd probably agree to blow Paul and all of his mates if that's what he wanted" blake laughs whilst shaking his head Before he can say another word about Emma I cut him off "shut the fuck up. You don't get to talk about her like that, just because we're fighting doesn't mean she isn't my best friend still". Blake scoffs "that's a load and you know it. Just ask yourself this where is Emma right now huh where was she the other night when I dragged you out of that party" cutting him off I say "oh are you jealous that's Emma's my best friend and your not" in return Blake cuts me off "yeah keep making jokes about it but it only proves you know I'm right". "Oh please right about what!?" -"Emma might be your best friend but have you ever stopped to think that maybe your not Emma's."
Paige 15.
I've gone cold and my heart has dropped to the pit of my stomach, I do not like what Blake is saying not one bit. The thought alone makes me feel weak, the thought that I wasn't Emma's best friend had never occurred to me. We'd been friends for as long as I can remember I used to spend most of my time at hers escaping my family, not that her family was perfect or anything, but it was just calmer there. We did practically everything together for as Long as I can remember well that is until a year and half ago when Paul came into the picture, she suddenly started going to college all the time she said it was because of her parents but I knew it was something to do with Paul and I mean coudos to her just because I hate school didn't mean she had to, but it wasn't just that even coming out on the weekends she had started bail on me or if she did come you could bet a pretty penny Paul was bound to show up he had become the herpes of our friendship. It was fine before they got serious because we were all like a gang we did everything together but after a while it had became the Paul and Emma show steff had been the first to be kicked to the side then Bryce but I just never thought I would be too.