"At least attempt putting me in your suitcase so-"
"No, kiddo. You didn't want to come, so you won't be coming. End of story," my mom interjected.
I'm probably getting on her last nerves with my constant nagging, but who said there is harm in trying? No one I can think of, so why not?
"But, but nothing. You are going to be a well-behaved girl, doing what well-behaved girls do when their parents are away."
She says in isiNdebele for emphasis, a language she hardly speaks in unless she is talking to my maternal grandfather, who is Ndebele.
Just in case you are confused, my mom is Setswana and Ndebele culturally infused, whereas my dad is a thorough Setswana speaking man, who happens to know how to speak isiNdebele amongst other seven languages he can fluently speak.
My dad would tell the twins and I the disgustingly cute, sweet and romantic story of how he met our mother. The summarised version of my dad's How I Met Your Mother goes like this, It was a Wednesday afternoon and my dad just happens to pass by my mom, who was communicating in isiNdebele to her cousin, on the phone.
My dad stopped to marvel at the beautiful woman before him who as well did a double-take at the handsome man before her eyes. Staring at one another's eyes whilst still listening to her cousin about coming across their favourite yet handsome actor.
My mom quickly mumbled before dropping the call, that she might be staring at a very 'fine' looking specimen who might make her risk it all, just for him, in isiNdebele, assuming that he won't be able to understand what she just said since they are in both in Setswana speaking province populated by Matswana*.
My dad approached her and asked if she needed help in the said language she thought he wouldn't be able to comprehend what she was saying. And according to my dad, her reaction was priceless. From there, the rest was HISTORY.
My dad enters the kitchen and wraps his arm around me. "You can also invite your friends that are GIRLS over here and do the teenagey-girly things you teens do nowadays," my dad winks at me.
"KK, go call the twins", as she grabs the bag that I had just snuck out my favourite chocolate, Lunchbar and packet of Simba Chips, Chutney flavoured to be exact.
"Ole and Bonga, they are leaving you guys!" I shout on my way to the living room.
"Bathong! We are coming!" Thabo shouts as he grabs his tablet from the table and descends his way down the stairs.
"Enjoy being home alone, big sis", Olerato says whilst she struggles to adjust the straps of her backpack, I take the three novels in her hand to make it easier for her to complete the task at hand.
I hand the novels back to her and fix her hair. "Enjoy going to the colonisers' place of origin. Don't hesitate to buy me designer things, you know, like the Calvin Klein underwear set. Ke tla reng, gape I am doing y'all a big favour, "* I wink at her.
"If we feel like it," the twins shrug simultaneously.
"Have fun, my little nyw- weirdos" I quickly correct myself as my dad and mom both appear in the hallway.
My dad comes closer and gestures me to come hug him. "Bye, my skat and take care of yourself. Do not ever hesitate to call any of us, if you feel unsafe or something happens, especially your uncle in Sandton-"
"Or your aunt, plus she said she's in town", Ma interjects.
"Sharpo, tsamayang hle*," (Okay, go away already) I say jokingly.
I help with packing the luggage into the car and wave them goodbye before heading into the house. I lock every door there is before extending an invite to one of my two partners in crime over.
_______________________________________________________________________________
"Bathong!" is a sPitori (a dialect derived from Sotho languages like Sesotho, Sepedi and Setswana. it is used by Pretorians who live in Pretoria) and Sesotho expression for "Oh my gosh"
*"Ke tla reng, gape..."- Setswana for "What can I say, again..."
*"tsamayang hle" Setswana for "go away, already"
Fun fact: "Lunchbar and packet of Simba Chips...", Lunchbar is a Nestle chocolate and Simba is a brand that produces and sells potato chips (snacks like Lays) both of these are only sold in Africa and are one of South Africans' favourite snacks amongst biltong, amagwinyas and other delicacies.