*Yua Ichika's POV*
//July 8, 2040//Sunday//
I am still terrified to get out of my room. The thought that I got caught red-handed, and that everyone is going to kill me because of what I did is horrifying.
*KNOCK* *KNOCK*
Someone knocked at the door, and my whole body felt like it was petrified because of that sound. I kept hoping that whoever that might be will leave.
*KNOCK* *KNOCK*
But it was still there. My heart was beating rapidly, and my whole body started shaking. I got up from my bed and looked at the door where someone was knocking while covering myself with a blanket that covered my whole body.
"Ichika, can we talk?"
My eyes narrowed when I heard who the person was that was knocking at my door. It was Asahi, who I attempted to kill earlier.
"GO AWAY!!!"
"Ichika I-."
"I TOLD YOU TO FUCKING GO AWAY!!!"
I was furious because he was insisting that the two of us should talk. What would he even talk with me about in the first place?
It was just a stupid lie that he thought of. It was foolish. Every person that I met is all the same. They will do anything just to get in touch with me, and then, in the end, they will do whatever they want.
They are some disgusting pieces of shit.
30 minutes passed by, and Asahi still kept knocking on my door. I sat still on my bed then kept silent, and refused to speak another word from my mouth. I was just tired and wanted all of this to end. I know that as soon as I am going to open that door, I am done.
But…
I wanted someone to help me with this pain I have been enduring my whole life.
I burst into tears, and I started crying silently while still looking at the door where Asahi was standing.
I was afraid, and I couldn't help myself to feel that kind of emotion because of the things I have gone through. I was traumatized. I really am.
I got out of my bed, rushed straight to the door, and opened it without any hesitation. I do not care if something bad happens to me, I deserved it anyways.
Asahi had all the right to do something terrible to me. But for some reason, I want to hear what he has to say. I wanted to hear what this man who is in front of me wants to say in front of my face.
"What do you want?"
I glared at him, and he was looking at me with a concerned look. I hated it. That face was what I used to see. That fucking face is something that has deceived me a lot of times.
"Ichika… I-It was painful, wasn't it?"
*SLAP*
What Asahi said enraged me, and I unconsciously slapped him in the face really hard that leaving a mark on his right cheek.
"Stop bullshitting me… WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE?! I AM SICK OF IT! EVERYONE LOOKS AT ME WITH THOSE GENTLE YET DECEIVING EYES! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! MY BODY?! DO YOU WANT TO FUCK ME THAT BAD, AND NOW YOU ARE TRYING TO LEND ME A HAND?!"
I kept on punching Asahi in the stomach weakly while I kept on crying in front of him. I was just too tired to do anything else.
I am done with my life. The person I admire the most, the one who gave me my dream, I tried to kill him, and that led me to have this guilty, heavy feeling inside of me. I was a foolish woman that was blinded by greed.
"Ichika, when I learned about your past, I hated myself for it. I have been with you most of the time here at Saitei University, but I was ignorant of letting you do whatever you want even if you are carrying that kind of pain your whole life."
"THAT DOESN'T CONCERN YOU AT ALL!!! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN CARE SHIT FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME-?!"
*SLAP*
Asahi slapped me on the face. It was weak, and I knew that it was his first time hitting someone. His slap had a lot of hesitation.
But I knew he did that so I can bring my senses back.
I had a glance at his face, and he was trembling.
"I DO CARE!!!"
When Asahi shouted at me, my heart skipped a beat, and my panic suddenly stopped. My tears were still flowing, but I couldn't look him in the eyes and tried to look down.
"I have a shitty life. My parents were the worst, my father even tried to rape me. The people I met just wanted to have sex with me, and I had no choice but to accept it in exchange for money so I can live on with my life. I thought my life was saved when someone lent me a helping hand, but the person who I believed was my life savior turned out that he doesn't care shit about me when he learned that I was a prostitute. No one truly loved me genuinely for who I am. My life was tainted by disgusting things. All of the experiences I had in my whole life were horrible. Nothing good came into my life. My life was like a living hell…"
There was a moment of silence between us after I ranted at him about my life.
"Was it bad when I came into your life?"
Upon hearing what Asahi just said to me, I looked at him, and he had a serious but calm look on his face. I felt that what he just asked me was really genuine, and came from the bottom of his heart.
"I-I…"
I do not know what to say. Asahi was right. What I am about to say feels like an exaggeration, but he was the first one who gave me a reason to live.
He doesn't even know that he had a huge impact on my life, and when I met him, all I could think of during the times I was with this guy was just…
Happiness, and relief…
"The first day that I was with you, it was really annoying, and I really couldn't stand you. You really were a bitch back then when I first met you. That was my impression. But as time passed by, that soon changed."
"How come?" I asked.
"I know that you are still wondering why I would want to have a normal life despite me being a successful person in the film industry. I was. I really was successful. But I was lonely. I kept on yearning to have a person that I can treat as someone close to me, someone I can feel comfortable with. And you are that person, Ichika."
Asahi's words were not like any other compared to those who have talked with me before when it comes to these kinds of things.
He insulted me at first because of my attitude, but he was honest about it. All of the things he is saying, I can feel that all of the things that he said, and what he will be going to say are the truth.
"This might be kind of embarrassing, but every time I am with you, my feelings start to change. You are that close person I am yearning for, but as time goes by I am starting to see you as someone special, a special person in my heart."
"You're lying…"
My trauma is getting the best of me, and a part of me was scared that he was lying. Why can't I just get this out of my mind? Why can't I just trust this person who was in front confessing his true feelings for me?
"Ichika, if I am lying, will I even try to kill myself just so that you can believe that I really wanted to help you?"
My heart skipped a beat again, and I felt guilty about what happened. It was true, it was stupid of me to tell Asahi to kill himself. But, he didn't even hesitate to do it.
"I-I'm sorry…"
"It's fine, I wanted to do it anyway. I am also sorry. When I heard from Machida, and Sasaki about what you have been through, I felt stupid. I have not done anything to comfort you or anything. I really am sorry, I want to do something to reach out to you. I also wanted to share the burden that you have been carrying your whole life."
It was not his fault. He almost died because of me, I am the one who should apologize. Now I know that this is what Asahi was feeling when he knew about my past.
"You have done a lot for me, and I am grateful for all of it. I'm really sorry for not trusting you. I am sorry for trying to kill you. I am sorry for not appreciating that you came into my life." I said while crying.
"It's okay, everyone makes mistakes, and I forgive you for all those things. Besides, it made me happy when you told me that you are grateful for all the things you did for me."
It was the truth I truly am grateful for. You might think that the time we had together was the only thing I am grateful for, but no. I am grateful that I got to know you right from the very beginning. Even right now.
I am grateful that you still wanted to reach out to me even if you learned how shitty of a person I am.
"B-But why are you doing this for me?"
Asahi suddenly hugged me, and what he said made me break down more into tears. All of the sufferings that I have dealt with in the past suddenly vanished when he embraced me.
"Because I love you, Yua."
******** TO BE CONTINUED ********