*Hagumi Megumin's POV*
//June 14/2040//Thursday//
From that mellow voice itself, I knew right away who it was. Sasaki hugged me from behind and told me those things. Her warmth while hugging me took away the coldness that my whole body is feeling. The trembling also stopped, but my tears are the only thing that didn't go away.
"What are you talking about, Sasaki?… I told you… I'm okay…" I said.
"You are not okay, and that is fine. Don't lie to yourself, Megumin."
Aaaahhh… Why am I crying again? No, stop it, Megumin… Don't show them. this pathetic face of yours. Everyone here is fine, and it is unfair to them if I show some negativity.
But I can no longer hide how I truly feel, and then suddenly, my mouth started spouting things.
"But that is not what I really am… I am a person who gives the brightest smiles to people. The one who cheers them up, the person who shows no sign of negativity towards others."
Stop it… Don't say another word, Megumin… What am I doing?
"I tried faking a smile to all of you so that I can show how positive I am in this situation… So why… Why are my tears flowing? Why can't I give each of you a genuine smile?"
Stop… Stop making yourself look pitiable...
"Megumin, we know that you really are the brightest among us. You are always cheerful, and you smile all the time. You are always showing us your good side, but also, there is nothing wrong in showing your bad side to the new people you build bonds with." Sasaki said.
"But… I'm scared to show everyone how vulnerable, and weak I can be. I felt like I am useless to all of you. The only thing I can do is cook food for you. I can't contribute to finding a way to get out of this place. I am afraid of what will happen to all of us because now we know how bad the situation we are in. I'm afraid… I am useless…"
"Megumin, look at us."
I looked behind just like Sasaki told me to. Raku, Asahi, Kanade, and Sasaki were all looking at me while giving their brightest smiles to me. The first thing that I felt was a feeling of relief. All of the negative thoughts I had yesterday suddenly vanished.
When I saw their smiles, I realized something. Maybe that is how the people I meet feel when I give them my brightest smile. Their positivity affected me, and I started shaking. Not because I was afraid, but because I was happy. I am happy that I felt like I found a new family other than the people that I am with from my hometown. Sasaki looked me in the eyes, and said…
"Don't worry Megumin, we always have your back. Even if you show either your good side or bad side, we accept who you are. Besides, all of us truly appreciate all the efforts you have given to us since we all first met."
After what Sasaki told me, my fake smile vanished, and I poured everything that I have been enduring this past month
"I WANT TO SEE MY DAD! I WANT TO SEE THE CHEFS THAT I HAVE BEEN WORKING WITH FOR MY WHOLE LIFE! I AM AFRAID THAT ALL THE BONDS THAT WE HAD TOGETHER WILL NEVER COME BACK! I AM AFRAID THAT ONE DAY SOMEONE MIGHT DECIDE TO KILL EVERYONE INSIDE HERE! I'M AFRAID SASAKI! I TRULY AM! I DON'T WANT ALL OF US TO FIGHT AGAINST EACH OTHER!"
"Don't worry Megumin. We are planning to fix everything after what happened yesterday."
"Yeah, what Kanade said is right. Sasaki… Look at what you have done to Megumin. You made her cry, geez..." Raku said.
"Shut up Raku." Sasaki said.
The five of us laughed while I was crying. Sometimes, it really is a bad thing if you keep your problems to yourself.
I realized that all we need is somebody that we can shower these feelings onto. People who are willing to listen to you, people who can carry the burden you are handling for a long time. After I told them everything that I wanted to say. My feelings were a lot lighter than before.
"Megumin without your help on our first day here at Saitei University, who knows what we might have done? You are the one who saved us from that. Thank you." Asahi said.
I remembered that I tried to unite everyone with my food on our first day here. Asahi and Ichika really had an intense aura when I first met them. When I earned their trust and served the food that I made, their approach to everybody changed in a better way.
I realized that maybe, I am also the one responsible for why all of them are like this for the past month? It's not wrong if I realize the things that I have achieved, right?
I wiped my tears off my face and gave them a genuine smile.
"Thank you for cheering me up."
I am really glad that I met these people.
******** TO BE CONTINUED ********