Chereads / Starting With The End / Chapter 51 - I can’t do it

Chapter 51 - I can’t do it

Meanwhile, somewhere far away from Gotham City. 

Even further from the world, maybe somewhere in the universe? Or even further than that.

Where every day is oddly static. The surroundings there are calm and quiet, enveloped in a weird whitish aura. Except for the season sometimes changing in between sunny and rainy.

It stays always so white that its brightness is almost blinding.

For an average human, such a glistening yet quiet place might be awkward or uncomfortable. But this serenity is the solace of angels. This peaceful ambiance is the place of lots of angels. 

That is how Annwn is.

Well, at least that is how it should have been, until now that a certain new recruit is shattering this quietness into countless pieces with the grumbles and long, continuous strides from here to there.

"Hey, newbie. Why are you making such a noise early in the morning?" A lady groggily growled under her blanket. But in response to her question, the strides became louder. Annoyed, she threw the pillow she was hugging to the person causing the noise. "Oy, Ryo! Will you just tone it down to a notch already? What new drama did you start in my house at this hour of the morning out of nowhere? Way to ruin my sleep, ugh!"

Ryo was sure to get hit by that pillow if he had been a second late to notice. "Since when did we start having mornings huh?" He grabbed the pillow and tossed it aside. 

"Since we added sleeping in our daily routine, obviously. What, Ryo? You should know how humans work huh?" that lady scoffed at him. "Now you have completely ruined my beauty sleep." She got up, throwing the blanket aside in irritation.

"Yeah, only you do that, Iris." Ryo mockingly said. 

"Because I am the prettiest of all. Of course, I need to work hard for it. And you went ahead and ruined it. What is it, making you irked this much?"

Ryo again started pacing around with loud strides. "That stupid girl. She isn't doing anything…"

"Who isn't?"

"Airi of course."

"Your subject?"

He nodded in response to that. "Yeah, her. She sure got to learn about her regrets by now. Then why isn't she acting at all? Moreover, she is just lazing around, lying, and eating. What is she, getting a new chance to relax?"

Iris pressed her forehead in irritation. "Then let her take her sweet little time. Why are you panicking this much?"

"Because she doesn't have that pleasure of time to waste, got it?" Ryo shouted back, with equal annoyance.

"Then be with it. That's her matter to deal with. If she can't, she can't." Iris shrugged her shoulders. 

"You should know that things don't work like this, Iris."

"And you sure you are getting this inpatient just out of care for a subject? Nothing else? Because as far as I am seeing things right now, Airi is someone important to..."

"Shut up, Iris. There is nothing like that sort of. It's just, she is a mere subject that's all. Nothing more, nothing less," Ryo looked away from Iris, escaping her eyes. 

"At least say that on my face, you dumb angel," Iris thought to herself, seeing his eyes avoiding hers. "Fine, at least she is important for your job, right?"

"Yes, that's right. I am just worried for her just for the sake of my job. That's all to it."

"Yeah yeah, how pious little angel you are," she swatted her hands in the air. "Then if this is bothering you so much, go and talk to her!"

"She… didn't call for me… yet," Ryo scratched his shiny ashy-brown hair, still keeping his eyes away from Iris. 

"And… so? Is there any law that we don't go to them if they don't seek us out?" Iris wrinkled her eyebrows in confusion. 

"No, there isn't…"

"Then just go and do your work, you dumb newbie!" Iris literally ousted him out of her room angrily. "This simple yet obvious thing, and you came here to mess with my sleep? Go die you kiddo!"

"Fine! I am going. Don't need to push me that much. And I am not a newbie, stop calling me that. I have been here for quite hundreds of years, just to remind you."

"And still you need help from this lady here. Sigh! Now get going already!"

"Yeah, I am. See you later, and thanks. You are helpful like an older sister…"

"Who the hell are you calling an older sister, you!" Iris threw another pillow towards Ryo, interrupting his words. But even this time, that missed for an inch. And Ryo ran away, saving himself from the enraged lady angel.

"This dense boy! Who wants to be a sister here! I never wanted to be…" Iris grabbed her hair with both of her hands in slight frustration.

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Airi Shin was sitting on the table in her room, doodling her favorite anime character on a sheet of paper. But in her mind, there was a huge train of thoughts running. She had spent quite a time in this room, but she couldn't dare to go out even for once after that day. Neither she talked with the people living with her. If she recalls correctly, then soon the summer vacation is going to end. And she doesn't know what to do by then. She understands that she can not ignore things forever, but there was no way she could accept things the way they are. A lot of things are heaving down on her, keeping her in a daze most of the time of the day. She was in a trance as well right now but just then she heard a light knock on the glass window. 

*knock*

Airi slowly looked at the window blankly, but seeing the source of the sound, she completely broke apart from being dazed.

She hurriedly opened the window and let the man come in. "Ryo! Whatcha' doin' here?"

"Checking up on my subject, that's all. And yeah, you are just my subject, got it?" Ryo had an annoyed yet charging tone in his words, still in the effect of the nagging of Iris just a while ago.

"Huh? What are ya' specifyin' that for? Any friggin' one would know that all good by now, won't they?" Airi had a perplexed look on her, looking at Ryo. And by that, Ryo understood the slip-off he made. "It's… ahem… nothing. Just clarifying that to you… because, yeah, you! You always behave rudely. No proper manners at all. You have any idea how much of a respected persona I am! You ungrateful arrogant rude girl!" He immediately composed himself, changing the topic by the sudden outburst of rebuke to her.

"Oh, dude. First, become a person before bein' a 'respected persona'," She waved her hands in the air to disregard his words. "And you yourself are bein' rude punk here, FYI."

"Tsk, you annoy me way too much, girl." Ryo could feel his veins popping on his forehead. 

"Yah, same to you." Airi sneered back at him, not backing off.

"Then if so, why make me come here? You could just do your work you should do, and spare me the trouble, right?"

Airi's breathing got hitched for a second hearing Ryo. "Wha… what work are ya' talkin' about?" 

"You read the diary, right? Do you think you could keep silent about it, and that's going to get looked past by?" Ryo took a seat in her bed comfortably. "Why aren't you working on it?"

"Cuz I can't. This is something… I can't do it."

"I hope you know there is a fine line between you can't and you don't, right?" Ryo asked back, completely making Airi taken aback. "What was written there?"

"You'd know that…" Airi mumbled under her breath, almost in an inaudible tone. But somehow, his ears caught onto that. 

"No, I don't. We might be angels, but we aren't God. So we have no right to probe into anything, or we have no privilege of knowing anything unless we are let to know."

Airi slightly nodded her head as to understand Ryo's words. "I see…"

"So you see, unless you don't tell me, I wouldn't know anything. And unless I don't, I wouldn't be able to help you. And if I don't help you then…"

"Okay, stop. Rein yer mouth for a goddamn second, will ya'?" Airi raised her hands to give a break to his words. "I'll tell ya. It's just… the regret…"

"What about it?" Ryo looked at Airi's tense face, and just now he noticed how weak and nervous she looked, so much that her face was looking a lot paler than he last saw her. "Is everything fine, Airi?" 

He had concern in his voice, and Airi felt relieved to know that. So she gathered up her words and described everything she saw while drifting in sleep, and the things she read on that. She even told him how she had seen something extra, which she never wrote in that diary.

"So, the regret I had mentioned there, was about loving them back. To give them back the love and care they deserved. That's all." Airi finished talking by saying that at last.

"Okay, then what's the matter? I'm sure you already do care about…" Airi pressed Ryo's mouth with her hands so that he couldn't speak ahead. "Ryo, stop! I don't… I don't love them… I don't care about them…"

Airi slowly removed her hands, while mumbling to herself 'I don't love them, I can't love them' repeatedly. Ryo immediately clasped her hands in his, and turned her towards himself. "Airi! Get a hold of yourself! It's just a simple expression you need to express. Why can't you do it?"

Airi looked at Ryo in his eyes, and soon her vision blurred as tears filled in her big eyes and started rolling down her cheeks. She started sobbing, and soon her sobbing got louder.