The room I was in was warmer and cooler at the same time. It was a bit chilly at night but the servants made sure to light up a fire inside to keep me warm.
But still I couldn't close my eyes, there was just too much that was happening to me and they all happened very quick in a way I didn't even get much time to explore my surroundings. I was new to town, but at the same time I felt like I have been there my whole life. And that I have lived before, but at what time? Under what circumstances? Those were the questions which kept spinning inside my head and not allowing me to rest.
"Mingzhu! Mingzhu..." I heard Lee's voice coming from the back window. I got up and pulled the curtains aside, then there he was dressed in full armor like the soldiers. He had a smirk on his face.
"What's funny?" I asked.
"You, you are funny." He replied and pushed the curtains further. Then he landed inside the room and closed the window again.
I looked at him wondering how the hell did he just break out of the dungeon where general Chun had held him accountable. But he was more occupied with the room I was in. He touched the wall, the mat, and everything which was in front of him and I could tell he was excited. "Nice bed. Fit for a Queen right?"
"How did you break out of the dungeon"
"Oh right, you mean the dungeon you sent me to?"
"You attacked me Lee. In front of the soldiers!"
"I just wanted to set you free Mingzhu"
"Free from what?" I asked and he paused for a moment.
For what felt like a minute or so we had a silent moment between us. I didn't know what he was thinking but I could tell he didn't like the idea of me being a Queen at all. I knew him better, he wanted me all to himself and rather the idea of being taken away from him messed up his head. He sat on a chair nearby and took two deep breaths.
Then he finally said "This isn't what I had in mind for us. For our... Friendship and the thing we share between us"
"What do we share?"
"Our love for adventure and our bravery to face danger. We fled Xinjiang in the worst winter ever and we made it here. There's still a whole world out there for us to venture out, but instead..."
"These are my people Lee"
"They are not!" He shouted at me and stood up quickly. Closed his distance between us and cupped my face inside his arms "Mingzhu they are not your people! I am your people, Xinjiang is your empire and not this"
"Then why am I having memories of this place? Why does it seem familiar like I've lived here once, I've walked these streets before" I argued and took his hands off me.
Then he took steps back brushing his hair back and in disbelief. He looked at me as if I was possessed by something, like I wasn't myself but well who could blame him I didn't even recognize myself either.
"Do you hear yourself? Do you hear what you are saying?"
"Lee please... I'm struggling and I can use a little bit of peace"
"These people will use you to get what they want"
"And what's that?"
"To overthrow Qianlong Emperor! After they are done with you they'll toast you over like a rotten meat with no use of you anymore"
"You are being over protective Lee"
"Because I love you" He said and then he remained quiet as if that's not what he wanted to say or ashamed for saying it out loud.
I didn't say anything because I didn't feel any need to address what he just confessed to me. We had already been through that moment and I thought we passed that awkward moment but it seemed to him, it was never resolved. But I felt bad for him, so I tried to move closer to him but he jerked away and opened the window then he dissapeared. I called out his name more than five times but he didn't look back. I thought what did I do, how can I choose these people over my own best friend who went to hell and back with me.
But on the other side I also felt like it was the right thing to do because as an empress I had to make decisions which weren't always going to favor me. So it was more of who was I, Mingzhu or Yae Lin and I was scared for whoever would finally take over my soul and inhabit it forever.
After the fight with Lee, I tried to sleep and this time I dozed off into my own world. For most people they never know where do they go when they fall asleep, but not me. My dreams were always vivid and it always felt like a play of my life taking place right before my eyes.
That night I dreamt about a seer who lived very far away. To unknown world which had little to no civilization at all, there were two moons up in the sky and the sky was covered in blood. As I walked towards the seer I could feel my the drops of blood coming down from the sky. Drop by drop until my white robe was all covered in blood and I was shaken and afraid.
The seer saw me and said "Come" motioning his hand for me to follow and I followed him to what looked like a small hut. He was a very old man with long white beards and white hair all over his head. He was holding a stick for he couldn't walk alone I guessed.
After I got inside his hut suddenly the blood drops stopped and my robe was clean as it was before.
"Don't be afraid of a little blood, your Majesty" He said and managed a smirk after he sat down. And I sat across him with a fire between us.
I asked him "Who are you? Why am I here?"
"I've summoned you"
"Why?"
"Because your destiny awaits Yae Lin. The debt hasn't yet been paid" He said with his terrifying voice and facial expression. He was really terrifying and made me tremble through out.
"Debt? What kind of debt are you talking about?"
"The debt for your life. Blood for blood, life for life"
"I don't know what you are talking about but I am not her..."
He laughed and laughed with his scary voice which made me even more scared. I struggled to wake up from that nightmare but I couldn't. I had to hold on to my bed for strength to wake up but I didn't.
"I control this dream. You will go back when I say it's time for you to go" said the seer.
"Let me go..." I struggled to get away from him, with all I could.
"I want you to flee from the rebels for now. They are not strong and you know it. What a waste of life would it be to die again Yae Lin..." He said and this time so close to my face I could smell his stink breath on me.
"Die again?" I was struck with amazement and my eyes popped up.
He took a step back and laughed, then he walked outside of the hut. I tried to stand up and followed him outside, the rain drops of blood from the sky fell on me but I didn't stop. I crawled out to him, trying to reach with my hand but with every step I grew weaker and weaker until I couldn't move.
I laid down looking at the bleeding sky as drops of blood fell all over my face. And then I heard a loud scream saying "Run!"
And then I awoke from the nightmare screaming and shaking as if I had just seen a ghost.
"Mingzhu, Mingzhu what's wrong?" Lee asked with a concern look on his face and came to my rescue. He hugged me tightly and I didn't know what was he doing back inside my room after that weird conversation we just had earlier.
"You are here..."
"It's okay, I'm here. I'm here Mingzhu" He patted me with kisses on my head and holding me in his arms which helped so much because I suddenly felt safe and not scared anymore.
I told him everything about the dream I had and how I was trapped between the two worlds which lived inside me. I was scared of my own mind and I felt like a guest inside my own body and soul.
"One of the warriors back at home talked of the warm land. He said it was inhabited by magic"
"This isn't magic Lee! It's deeper than that. I feel like I'm someone else"
"Who?" He asked with a look of concern. Then he sighed and looked at me "Don't say it's the Queen they've been waiting for?"
"I'm afraid so, what if she died and somehow found herself inside me. I feel her pain, her loss and desire for vengeance. I gave out a speech Lee and that wasn't me..." I finished and I didn't realized the tears were falling between my cheeks until he wiped them with his fingers and held me again.