[Side Journal Unlocked - Edgar's Crumbled Views of the World]
The room falls back into silence. I watch Dakota, no, Aaron's receding figure went down the ward's corridor until not a shadow of him can be seen from my view.
Honestly, I don't know what I'm feeling at the moment. I remembered being sad and heartbroken when I was told the news of Dakota's death and sudden marriage. Now that I found out she's alive, I know I felt overjoyed. However, there is one part of me that can't seem to wrap the whole thing in my head. The fact that she has somehow turned into a man.
For the first time in my three years of silently pursuing Dakota, I felt the sincerity of my feelings was put on the line.
How much do you have to love someone to be able to accept him/her no matter what he/she becomes?
I look down at my palm. This very palm has caress Aaron's injured hand, patted Aaron's thigh, and ruffled Aaron's hair.
Aaron's fingers were oddly long yet graceful with clear characteristics of a man's fingers. The palm was a little rough too.
Aaron's thigh doesn't have the soft, supple, and bouncy fleshy feeling when I patted it. It was even a little hard. With a hint of strong muscles hidden beneath the thin fabric.
Aaron's hair is strangely soft and lush. But the short messy hairstyle clearly proves that the person under my palm is definitely a man.
But everything about that stranger looks familiar in my eyes.
The way he banters with Devon.
The way he hungrily stares at foods.
The way he calls me "Boss".
The way he "haha" or "hehe" -ed at everything without regard to the situation he's in.
All his actions overlap with Dakota's. It's familiar and foreign at the same time.
Can I still say I'll love Dakota, even if she turns into a man?
.....
I think...I can...
"What were you thinking trying to get him to work as your personal assistant?" Devon's sudden inquiry woke me from my stupor.
"...I just...want her to be close to me. Close enough that I could keep my eyes on her this time."
Devon, "...She's not the same Dakota you knew. She's a he. A man. That little episode in the bathroom is the proof of it."
"I know..." I know but I can't help it.
Devon was silent for a good minute, "I don't know what you're thinking. He was right when he said him being around will affect you. You and I both know the situation you're in and the reason for your leave to F country. Are you saying you'll even go gay for him? Is that so?"
Can this even be considered gay? I guess it is, huh. Despite the soul inside was of a woman, the physical body is still of a man.
"Are you telling me to abandon the three years of efforts I've put into this? You know I can't do that." I can't help but rub the inner corner of my eyebrows. Speaking with a blunt person like Devon can cause a serious headache to you.
"Why can't you do it? You should know who you are in Dakota's eyes by now. Just a colleague. Nothing more, nothing less." Devon tapped the tablet on the table. "She even got married while you're out there trying to pave ways for your relationship. Although, I can't blame her entirely on that. I can't even tell you're courting these whole time."
"It was fine and dandy if you were doing this for Dakota Reeves. She has made her name known in the industry. Your family won't be that repulsed by the idea. But for a man? One with Aaron's reputation at that. Can you imagine how that'll turn out?"
"You know you can't keep avoiding the issue of marriage from your family. Next year is the deadline for your agreement. Who are you going to bring to your family? Don't tell me you're going to take Aaron there. Let me tell you, I won't let that happen!"
I let out a long sigh. Devon really made his point and I have no words to counter him with. I also can't shamelessly say words such as "Love conquers all". Because we all know, that's not usually the case.
"Worst's comes to worst, I'll just renounce my standing in the Hill family and leave them for good. Look at you and Greg, aren't you guys doing fine?"
Devon narrowed his eyes at my reply and crossed his arms, "You know it's not that easy. It's either you crush them to bits, or they'll do that to you. That's how it's always been in the Hill family. Back then, we have you around. What about you? Who do you expect to help you if you really do that?"
I can't help but chuckle at his reply. "Well, about time you guys repay the debt, no? I'll be counting on you should this matter leans to that solution."
It was another minute of silence before I heard a long sigh coming out of Devon's mouth, "Suit yourself. Do whatever you want. I just hope you don't have to resort to that. Aunt Elise would roll in her grave if she found out you're renouncing your inheritance instead of fighting for it."
Picking up the coffee mug on the table, I took a small sip before saying, "Don't worry. What's stolen shall be returned to the rightful owner. Did you think I was enjoying my leisure days for all those days I was sent to F Country?"
Devon shook his head, "Rejecting a marriage proposal lands you on F country. Imagine bringing a guy home after all those times given for you to reflect. I don't know if I should laugh or cry for Uncle Reiss."
"You could do both, I guess." Placing the mug on the table, I continued, "Looking at this report, it's obvious Emma has external help assisting her. Can you find out who's behind her?"
"Already on it." Devon replied briskly.
"And...this guy, Chris. Can you look into him more? I have a feeling it's not as simple as reported."
Devon, "...You just want to know what kind of guy managed to tie Dakota in. Just admit it."
...That too, but, "The report is too clean. Dig more into it."
"Alright." Devon shrugged his shoulders and picked up the tablet. He was getting ready to leave the room when my sudden inquiry halted his actions.
"Why do you think she doesn't want to be involved in the business world anymore?"
"I think I've mentioned this to you before. Have you forgotten?"
I raised an eyebrow, confusion written all over my face. Has Devon really mentioned anything about this?
Devon, with an expressionless face, said, "D is a very unmotivated person. The only thing keeping her alive and walking is food."
"..." Okay. I remember hearing this before, but what does that have to do with this?
Devon, "And you expect her to work as your personal assistant at Hill Corp? Which has nothing to do with food at all. Good luck with that."
"..." I guess, it makes a little sense...
Devon, "And, there's Emma. Seems like she's trying to avoid confrontation with her. It's best to avoid her too. D has always been a bad actress. Well, bad actor, now. There's more to the story that he didn't disclose. Try prying it out of his mouth. And please try to fix the way you address him from now on. It's a he now, not a she."
"..." Alright, you don't have to keep shoving the reality to my face every five seconds.
Sigh~
I just gave Devon a nod. I'm too tired to argue so I just see him out of the room with my eyes.
Now that I'm left alone in the room, I can't help myself from searching for my phone and opened up the gallery. A few sneak photos of Dakota were pulled up. I got these from Devon, so, most of the sneak photos were of her ugly shots. But it always brought me joy back when I was in F country.
Looking at Dakota's face on the screen, and remembering Aaron's face, once again, the image overlaps in my mind. Similar, yet foreign.
"Sorry, D. This time, I won't be late again."
*****