"So you guys teamed up with he-who-must-not-be-named and his partner Neptune to investigate and infiltrate a Faunus Supremacist rally being held by Roman Torchwick, the guy who is single handedly crippling the kingdom's access to a strategic resource and has stolen advanced military tech which he has revealed to be supplying to a terrorist organization at an unknown base of operation, and the leadership of Vale's hunters wasn't even interested in the fact that he escaped capture because of a subordinate using an illusion based semblance?" I signed aloud as Ruby and I chatted during our secret bi-weekly get together.
Secret because of Yang's insistence on treating Team JNPR and especially its incredibly handsome leader as enemies. Blake herself behaved more cordially than her partner, though she usually seemed more distracted and worn down than angry.
"I know, right?" Ruby agreed with me, "You'd think that public enemy number 1 running around arming the bad guys with the help of someone who can come and go as she pleases would send some stronger warning signals to central command, but Ozpin was really apathetic about it."
"Ever since we got back Blake has been really out of it. She even forfeited to Cardin in combat class and she never misses a chance to beat that scuzzball." She continued in a worried tone, "Do you think maybe you can talk to her some time. We have our first missions coming up after the dance Sunday and if she doesn't have it together things could go really bad for us."
"Did she get hurt?" I asked, she didn't in the show but I make no assumptions without doing my best to verify.
"No, we all got check ups after the action so if she was hurt we would know." Ruby shook her head.
"Alright, if she is still messed up by Monday I'll see if I can do anything." I agreed to help.
"Thanks, Jaune." Ruby grinned in relief, "If anyone knows how to get to her it's you."
"We'll see." I dismissed the idea before heading back down into the dorms from the roof we met on.
We were a few weeks out from the tournament Cinder intended to attack, and I needed to keep my head on a swivel to see any changes to my understanding of the plan coming in. I'd passed the bitch a few times during the months since the Haven Academy students came round for the semester-long fostering program the host kingdom held for the Vytal Tournament, and each time I felt an increasing desire to wrap my hands around her neck and crush the life out of her. As far as I know, Salem didn't have a replacement available to take over should Cinder die, no greater devil to take over the plans. Murder is such a great tool for solving problems, but I just had no way to get away with it afterwards. A better man would just throttle her and take the weight of the law afterwards with pride.
The next day I dressed up in my rented tux while Pyrrha and Nora finished their makeup in the bathroom. The pair came out with Nora in a sleeveless pink dress with a puffy skirt and Pyrrha in a classy red halter dress. Somehow I'd ended up with both of them as my dates to the inter school dance, and when I asked why Ren wasn't taking Nora all I got was, "We aren't together together." I wanted to tell her that we weren't 'together together' either as she is just the chick that watches me plow my girlfriend, but a knowing smile sent a shiver down my spine and a twitch across my sack.
It felt incredible to walk in with a beautiful woman on each arm, and I can now empathize with all the playboys I'd seen growing up twice. As I looked upon a gathering of men I'd dominated in combat with living proof that I dominated them just as much sexually clutching each side of me, I felt like a god.
I spotted Ren dancing by himself off beat, confirming the guy's status as an alien in my mind. Over a decade of dancing lessons allowed me to take ownership of the dance floor and keep two partners busy. While we focused on a good time, our former friends Team RWBY looked pretty miserable. Weiss's date turned out to be a flake, Blake looked like they'd dragged her here and she'd rather be anywhere else, Yang looked like she had to drag an angry cat around, and Ruby hated her shoes. Team JNPR wins another battle in our civil war, even if Ren looks like a weirdo popping and locking during slow classical songs.
My trio for the evening cut out early and made our way back to our dorm room where a grinning Nora adorned the door handle with a sock. With a quick glance at each other, my dates began pulling my clothes off and soon I found myself being worked over by two sets of hands and lips. I may not be the smartest man to walk the earth, but I am no simpleton. I was getting a threesome tonight!
The sight of Nora on her knees and elbows with Pyrrha leaned on her hip while spreading her glorious round ass cheeks will forever be burned into my mind. Deep inside me, Admiral Akbar screamed out in warning, but the hooting of my inner silverback he-chimp drowned him out and had me stuffed into Nora's virgin core before Pyrrha finished telling me to "Wreck this little slut."
I ended my early morning adventures the same way I began my evening at the dance, with a girl on each arm. I'd completed every guy's dream by locking down two eager perfect tens in a threesome. That is a perfect twenty in the wild, no cheating by hiring hookers, no stacking four fives, a perfect twenty. I felt like nothing in the world could bring me down from my high until an insistent knocking on my dorm door woke me up.
I extricated my way out of the tangle of limbs we'd slept in to all fit in one of Beacon's standard issue beds and silently opened the door to let Ren back in.
"Quiet with the door man. The girls are still sleeping." I whispered to him already turned back to him so he only had to look at my junk from behind.
I somehow managed to get back into the middle of our new sleeping arrangement without waking anyone and turned to see not Ren, but Blake looking down at us.
The girl had packed on a little weight since the divorce, and had taken to wearing a padded purple trench coat since she got back from her soiree with the White Fang and Torchwick earlier in the month. I approved since even a simple padded coat can make a claw swipe a flesh wound rather than a full evisceration; however, I did not approve Blake intruding on my first morning with my two lovers.
"We need to talk." Blake stated the obvious, unless she wanted to attack us. In which case she stated a clever deception, "You, me, and Pyrrha. Is the Nora thing permanent?"
"She described herself to me as my ride or die side chick." I explained to my ex.
"That sounds like a second girlfriend." Blake shook her head at Nora's unique turn of phrase.
"That's what I said." I agreed, "But apparently Nora just wants affection and fun with people she loves and wants to leave all the 'boring stuff' to me and Pyrrha, so I guess it's more like having a best friend with benefits."
"You bet it is, big guy!" Nora woke with excitement flashing in her eyes as she took in our early morning ambusher, "Are we going for a foursome now?"
Pyrrha snuck a bleary peak at the digital clock on the nightstand.
"This had better be important because we have only had ninety minutes of sleep." She complained.
"It is." Blake confirmed, "You three should shower. We can talk when your scent isn't making me horny."
I barked a laugh at that. At least Yang and Ruby wouldn't be shouting things like 'What is that smell' if they were here.
We took longer scrubbing up than necessary, but at least we had the decency to not bang one out in the shower while Blake waited for us. We emerged fresh and clean and fully dressed for a lazy day lounging about. We sat on my bed while Blake took one of the chairs that Beacon provided with the four writing desks in the room.
"I am going to have to drop out of Beacon." Blake began with dour countenance.
Okay, I'd fuck something up and derailed the canon. Yay me, but also not good considering I needed Blake to stay near me during Cinder's attack so that dumb prick Adam will come to me. I needed to get to the bottom of whatever is causing Blake to run away this time and fix it fast.
"Why would you do that, Blake?" I asked her in concern, "You are really good at this work, and Beacon is the place to get even better at it."
"I'm pregnant." Blake answered and a terrified crack in her calm persona emerged.
That would definitely be a good reason to drop out of a school where combat is an active participation class. The news didn't freak me out. I'd been a dad twice over and knew what I needed to do, but I did have one major concern. I'm broke, Blake's broke, and babies are expensive. They put a huge drain on the parents in both resources and time if they want happy and healthy babies.
"I'll get to work." I told my terrified ex.
Nora however had another idea from that statement.
"OHHHH!" She yelled in joy, "I get to be a mama already! I thought this stuff was going to be years away! I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS!"
Blake and I both looked at the eccentric ginger with confusion.
"I am the one who is pregnant, Nora." Blake calmly explained to the excited shortstack.
"But our kids are going to be half siblings." Nora grinned, "Which means it's half mine! And it is really unethical to only be half a mother to a baby, so I am going to be a mama!"
And this is what we get for trying to teach Nora algebra.
"Nora, I am going to have to drop out too." I began, but Pyrrha cut me off.
"Jaune. You are one of the most powerful warriors in the world, you are not going to drop out and become a carpenter, or an iron-worker."
"I'm broke, Pyrrha. So is Blake, and we need to get money fast for the baby." I told her.
"I am going to pay for everything." Pyrrha stated matter of fact while locking eyes with me.
I snorted, "I am not going to ask my girlfriend for money to help with my ex's pregnancy."
"You shouldn't go to your girlfriend for that kind of thing." Pyrrha weirdly agreed, "But as your wife I have no problem helping you raise the baby from your previous relationship."
"Wife!" Blake blurted, "What the fuck Jaune! You guys already got married."
"No." Pyrrha explained, "We are going to get married, and when your baby is born we will file for custody, and you will get to move on with your life."
"Fuck you!" Blake snarled, "I am not going to hand my baby over to you. You're crazy."
"Oh, I didn't know you wanted to give up your dreams to be a teenage mother." Pyrrha shook her head, "I can make a call to my manager and Jaune can get out on the professional circuit no problem. By the time your baby is born he'll have more than enough lien earned to put you up in a nice little house where you can spend your days taking care of your little kitten. The domestic life awaits, Blake."
"And you're telling me that is what you want to do?" Blake snapped back at her, "Give up on becoming a huntress and raise my kid?"
"Not at all, but I can afford the nannies required to help me take care of the child far easier than a fresh fighter on the circuit could." Pyrrha responded, "If Jaune had a year, maybe a year and a half if the more famous fighters tried ducking him, he could earn enough to support you and the baby. You two have what? Twenty weeks? Less?"
Blake nodded her head.
"Then you need me." Pyrrha stated simply.
"What if I want what Nora has?" Blake asked, "She is apparently having kids with Jaune too someday, are you going to run her off and take her baby?"
"Not at all." Pyrrha answered.
"Then why are you trying to drive me off?" Blake demanded.
"Jaune and Nora aren't in love with each other." Pyrrha responded, "Their kids won't be the fruition of their love, just the fulfilment of Nora's desire to have kids of her own. Your baby is very much the fruits of your love, even if it was just an accident. If Jaune and I chose to move to Mistral, Nora would follow us. If we wanted to start a life of crime, Nora would join us. If we marched into an Atlesian blizzard, she'd be in locked step."
"So she's your pet, and I am your competition." Blake confirmed.
"I am way more filthy than a pet baby." Nora interjected, "And aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves, didn't the fearless leader leave you cause you were shacking up with he-who-must-not-be-named?"
Blake, Pyrrha, and I would rather not remember the way I overreacted to that weekend. Not a single one of us actually believes that Blake slept with Sun.
"It's mine." I said what we were all thinking, "No doubt. Let's just take a deep breath and try to step back from being territorial."
"Blake," I started, "How long till you have to leave Beacon?"
"I can stay till the end of the semester. Goodwitch has given me a pass in her combat class, so I can keep being a student here."
"And after you plan to stay in Vale, not try to go home to Menagerie?" I asked.
"I want you in the baby's life as much as possible." Blake shook her head.
"Pyrrha," I looked at my partner and lover, "are you sure you don't want to just wash your hands of me? I am sure you never dreamed of getting hitched at 18 so you can help raise another woman's baby."
"Are you being serious." Pyrrha smirked, "I am winning big here. I get a shot at locking down Jaune Arc in matrimony and get to raise what is likely to be the most adorable kitten to ever walk the face of Remnant. You can't sign me up fast enough."
"Love you too, champ." I laughed, "Blake, we will be fine sharing custody with you, but we will be contacting your parents to let them know. I appreciate that you came to me first with this, but you need to build up some kind of support system of your own and it starts with them. Even if it's just a little bit of love sent to you from across the CCT system."
"You're right." She agreed, "I can't keep running from them. Not now."
"So about that four way?" Blake intoned while looking slyly at Pyrrha.
"Maybe." The bigger girl hmphed, "If you are really loyal to this family, I'll let you get some."
I looked at Pyrrha in shock.
"What?" she exclaimed, "I'm not a monster. If she is a good girl I'll swing her some pity dick."
Fucking wild.
While my new family got accustomed to the new paradigm in our lives, I had to think about how me the team needed to step up. With Blake out of action, I can't rely on Team RWBY to get things done. With a baby on the way I can't afford to show mercy. It's time for the bodies to start hitting the floor.