"Kanae!" Aki calls out, quickly stuffing his bag with all his books. Kanae's almost out of sight when Aki runs straight for the door, pushing past everyone who came in his way. A few people try to grab him and make him apologise, but he's fast and hurries past them all. "Kanae, wait up."
The younger boy can clearly hear him from the way his ears heat up, but he continues rushing down the corridor. There's only a small distance between them when a crowd of people block Aki's view of him. By the time they're gone, Kanae's also disappeared. Aki scratches his head awkwardly as he realises there's a few eyes on him before turning the corner, wondering where Kanae had disappeared off to.
"Aki," he hears before he's getting spun around and pushed up against a door. He holds a hand to his head as Kanae presses his hand on Aki's shoulder. "What is it?"
"Why were you running away?" Aki chooses to ask first. He knew Kanae had been avoiding him, but to so blatantly ignore his calls and publically do that, it was just disrespectful.
"I need space, Aki," Kanae says, looking past Aki at the door. The sound of students passing by had quietened down and Aki could hear his own heart beating in his ears. "You following me around everywhere really isn't helping."
"I know you need space." Aki knows this already, everyone's said it to him. He knows that Kanae needs time to understand the difference between the love he holds for Aki and the one he's been receiving for many years. But Aki also knows that Kanae is his best friend, the one he's been relying on for the past years, the only one that Aki's truly confided in. Without Kanae, Aki feels as though he can't speak to anyone. Levi is a great friend and as close as he gets, but he would never be on Kanae's level to Aki. "But just when can we go back to normal?"
"What is normal?" Kanae questions, a grimace on his face. "Just what is normal to you Aki? Is it normal for us to have sex with each other? Is it normal for us to kiss each other? Is it normal for me to long for you when I can't see you? We can't go back to how it was before, Aki. You've met someone who you seem to like quite a lot and yet you still want me there? Just how selfish can you be."
Aki doesn't say anything as Kanae stares down at him. Was Aki being selfish for wanting his friend back? All he wanted was to be able to go back to the way it was.
"Kanae," he speaks softly, his voice strained. "Can't we just be friends?"
"We can't!" Kanae yells, slamming his first against the door behind Aki, who jumps at the sound. A few people walking in the corridor pause to check the door, but leave soon after. Kanae lowers his head. "We can't go back to that, Aki. It seems you still don't understand my feelings."
Kanae grabs Aki's chin and jerks him forward, connecting their lips before Aki could say anything. There's a brief moment in which Aki takes time to understand what was going on before he tries breaking free, hitting his hands on Kanae's shoulder to push him away. But Kanae was larger and stronger. He hooks his arm around Aki and pulls him closer, grinding himself against the older. It's suffocating as Kanae continues to kiss him, his hands in his hair, his lips sucking his.
"Kanae!" Aki cries out, sticking his knee into his leg. But then Kanae tugs at his hair, causing his legs to weaken. "Stop it!"
"If I don't do this, then you'll never understand how I feel whenever I look at you," Kanae says, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling it off to expose his shoulder. "I can smell him here. I can, and I'm a beta! Just how much time do the two of you spend together?"
The hand on his face snakes down to his neck and Aki feels himself getting dizzy. The bond on his collarbone was burning, reminding him that he was already bonded with someone else. Reminding him that every time he would try to be intimate with someone else, the bond would sting him.
Kanae presses his lips against Aki's collarbone and sucks at the skin there, the bond hurting him even more.
"Kanae, please," Aki feels tears forming in his eyes, rolling down his cheeks. "It hurts."
"I'm hurting too," Kanae mumbles against Aki's shoulder, his hands coming to drag Aki's legs back down when he feels any sensation return. "I see you everyday with that guy, that alpha. Aki, you say you don't care about second genders, but you really did handpick the people you date."
Aki feels a pain in his stomach and he gasps. It quickly travels up to his neck and he can hear his heartbeat in his ears. It's all so overwhelming, he tries to kick his legs but fails over and over again.
"Let me go," Aki whispers, all the strength in his body leaving him when Kanae licks up the blood dripping from his collarbone. The bond feels as though someone has rubbed a burnt match into his skin and his stomach has begun to ache. Aki wants to tell Kanae that he's sorry and that he was expecting someone else's child and so he needed to let go of him, but his consciousness slips and the last thing Aki sees is Kanae getting thrown across the room.
-
The room Aki wakes up to is dark, with the curtains pulled out and the doors shut. Aki looks around it and realises he's in Hiroto's room. The last time he was there wasn't that long ago, he was crying in pain that time too. Pulling aside the blanket neatly wrapped around him, Aki sits up and holds a hand to his head as he feels the world spinning.
"Hiroto?" He calls out, placing his feet to the floor and curling his toes at the cold surface. It's chilly, surprising as it was summer, and Aki embraces himself, his breathing soft and stable. A sudden memory of what had happened before he passed out returns to his mind and he winces.
"Aki?" The door opens and Hiroto enters, a cup of tea in his hands. He's quick to close the door behind him and rush over to Aki, placing the tea aside. "Are you okay? Do you feel any better? Do you remember what happened?"
"Yes," Aki replies, a little surprised by the sudden questions. "Yes to all the questions."
Hiroto takes a seat beside him, shuffling to fit on the bed. It's smaller than Aki remembers it to be, then again his memory from back then was distorted and he didn't want to think about it.
"Is this your room?" Aki asks once they've gotten settled in. He's holding his cup with both his hands and snuggled into Hiroto's arms.
"Yeah, my dorm room," he answers, placing a kiss on Aki's head. "It's sort of small, but it's the best I could get from the money I earn."
"Did your parents not approve of you moving out?" Aki questions, raising an eyebrow. They're not talking about what was the most important thing at the moment, but Hiroto doesn't press on it any further. He was waiting for Aki to bring it up.
Hiroto scratches his head awkwardly. "It's not that my parents didn't approve of me moving out, it was more like they wanted me to be as independent as possible, the same way they made Kiyoshi as dependent as possible."
With the burden of being an alpha, Hiroto was told to find a place to stay for university. The university he got into kindly accepted him into the dorm and he was living here ever since.
"Haruki had to go through that," Aki says, sliding his hand into Hiroto's, who only squeezes back. "Because I was an omega, Haruki was told to protect me in school. He was only two years older than me so we got along well. Around the time Haruki began to get busy with school life, I met Kanae."
Hiroto twitches at the name but doesn't say anything, letting Aki continue.
"He had only just been transferred to my class, I had failed a year so I ended up in his group, and we immediately became friends. Since he was new and I was older, no one really approached us. Perhaps we looked scary."
"You, and looking scary?" Hiroto laughs heartily. "That's hilarious. I can't imagine anyone being afraid of someone like you."
"Please," Aki shakes his head, embarrassed as he thinks about the things he did previously. "The way I am now is nothing compared to how I was back then. If people spoke to me in a way I didn't like then I would very fearlessly say it to their faces. I ended up getting into a lot of fights."
Haruki would be the one to step in and help them. He was larger and taller than the rest, with a look on his face that would make people cower away, or maybe that was the power of his pheromones. Aki got into fights knowing he had his older brother by his side, but there was a limit to how much Haruki could do for him.
"Do you still not have many friends?" Hiroto asks.
Aki smiles bitterly. "Never had thought I would need anyone other than Kanae."
Hiroto frowns at the mention of Kanae again, but this time he says something. "Aki, are you okay after what happened?"
"I'm," Aki pauses. Was he fine? Was he fine after getting harassed by an old friend of his, someone to be trusted with all his heart? Aki didn't know if what he felt was real. "I'm not okay."
Hiroto's arms tighten around him and he pulls Aki closer. "It's okay, Aki. I'm sure he won't bother you ever again."
A cry escapes Aki's mouth as he clutches onto Hiroto's shirt. "I don't want that. I don't want him to leave my side forever, but when I think of him right now all I feel for him is fear. I'm scared to see him again, but I don't want him to leave my sights and never return."
The tears are overflowing and Aki doesn't understand why he was crying. His emotions were all over the place, the bond residing on his collarbone had stopped aching the moment Hiroto touched him, but there was still a faint pain in Aki's stomach.
"I'm sorry," Aki whispers, rubbing his face into Hiroto's shirt. "I'm so sorry."
He was apologising and crying, but neither Hiroto nor Aki knew what the reason was.