few things bring me joy anymore in this depressive state
even those closest to me make me feel nothing as the void inside of me continues to grow
i struggle to understand those around me and what i once was
the child i used to be
it seems that the only things that i can feel are loneliness and fear
fear of those around me
fear of abandonment
fear of loss
i long to be the kind and sympathetic child i once was
but that child is gone
never to be seen again
the shine in the eyes of what was once a young and innocent little girl
the little girl who knew nothing but love and kindness
the little girl who has grown into a vicious monster surrounded by darkness with no way to escape
there is nowhere for me to run but i can't turn around and face my problems
i wish for the dark abyss of death
my sweet relief
perhaps then i might be satisfied