In the midst of anxiety, a bus drove past him. That was the last bus that was supposed to take him to school.
"Damn it."
His skinny legs tried to run though it seemed pointless, irregular breath along with despair began to come over his heart. This is his bad day. It's no different from any other day. God seemed to be punishing him for sin in his previous life.
Early autumn marked by cold air. The teenager in his old school uniform is being shaken up by a swift action. Initial intention was to play hooky but it turned out he was too much of a coward to make it real. What's there to question? Nobody's even gonna lose themselves at school. Not with teachers, not with classmates. Strange, would he call them friends? All those people have always considered themselves as precious as garbage. Only Nathan is a coward who can't fight back.
"Wait a minute Sir!"
Nathan screamed as soon as the gatekeeper began closing the iron doors. His knees were weak, and the high road to his school left him exhausted.
The old man looked as though he didn't hear Nathan scream. Still pulling the fence until it's close. This time the goddess of fortune seems to be on his side. Nathan jumped through and made it inside the gate. Though now he fell down with irregular breathing. His lungs expand as much air as they can.
"Hey you!"
The angry young man kicked his battered body. Nathan shuddered at the sound. His face bowed with fear. He knew the voice as well as the call of the angel of death who was about to come for him.
"Get up!"
Grab Nathan's collar and lift it up easily. Nathan looked down, unable to look, as if his life would end if their eyes met.
"Quickly bring our bags to class!"
The young punk named Gerald Jefferson was clearly engraved on his nametag. Pushed Nathan's body and threw three duffel bags on Nathan's face. The one bag that can't be told is not light on how big it looks.
Nathan went ahead and picked up a backpack that wasn't even his. Without a word and just looked down as he lifted the heavy backpack. Like a slave whose life would have ended if it had not followed the master's orders.
"Look at the quarterback! You're more like a sewer rat, you know!"
Nathan never turned his back on some child who abused him. Has given up defending his pride. Why would it be a privilege if he could be taken down by that abuser at any moment.
Buugh!
A stone hit him in the head. Nathan just walked in silence. He could feel a fluid running through his temples and just drip.
"Keep on bowing! Scum like you don't deserve our support!"
Nothing has changed. No matter how many times he forgets his memories, his life doesn't change. It just gets worse. Nathan didn't know what he did yesterday until this abuse was far more cruel than usual. As a slave, he has no power to fight.
Take the seat at the very back. The wooden table was covered with abusive words, as well as inappropriate representations.
'Orphans,'
'Trash like you should be thrown out'
'Go to hell with your parents'
Nathan didn't react to anything, seeing words clearly written on his stool. He's used to it. Every day, every time he looked at those words without daring to erase them. Greater consequences would result if he dared to delete or even write out the inscription.
The thin hand reached for a small textbook of backpacks, as well as a short-looking picture pencil. Nathan is not a wealthy man who can buy things easily. Use it as much as you can until it's completely unused.
Some kids are still talking to each other. Never mind a teacher standing in front of the class. It's not uncommon for that. What do you expect from a derelict school like this. Teachers just run their jobs as fast as they can and leave these rascals behind. No one dares to break up, even the headmaster has given up.
Braak!
Right after the teacher left his class, a chair flew toward Nathan. Down in the dingy wall of class. The wounds of this morning barely dried and now his shoulder is bruised from resisting impact.
The young man who earlier this morning abused him came back with a few young men in the back. Squeezing Nathan's collar tightly while gazing resentfully.
"Come quickly!" snapped Gerald. Without being forced, Nathan wouldn't dare refuse. The young man's words were a command to Nathan.
His scrawny body was forced into the back of the school. Right in front of the old warehouse that now switched roles into the estate of abusers. Delinquents who rebel and pillage themselves. In the crowd, Nathan could clearly see an emo d-haired young man with a splash of right ear. The man most feared there was even Gerald.
Sruuk!
Nathan fell to his face as a result of the sudden push of a young man who had brought him to his side. His body was right below the emo boy with a name printed on his chest. Alex Gregori Bykov. Nathan just stared at the ground. If Alex is calling someone special, they could say they're very serious people. Time and again, Nathan tried to remember yesterday, but it was still blank. What made Alex so mad at him? All he could remember was a stupid, meaningless dream.
'Wyatt tells me he beat the guy who abused you, Nathan. '
Dean's words this morning came out of nowhere. Most likely was Wyatt fighting with Alex to defend him. Thought that the wounds he could also be due to Alex and Wyatt's abuse came to the rescue.
Buggh!
"Bastards like you have the audacity to resist!!" A young Russian boy violently kicked Nathan, who was still on the ground.
Buughh! Buuugghh!
Stepped on Nathan's helpless body, barely moaning in pain. Alex seemed to want to blow off all his rage by taking out Nathan right then and there.
"You think I'd be scared that way, huh?!" Alex grabbed Nathan's hair pretty hard. Forced Nathan's face against it. "You're just lucky you know that? If you do that again I really won't spare you!"
Really, Nathan can't take it anymore. His eyes were dewed yet unwilling to drip. Like a dog who obeyed his employer, Nathan didn't fight back even when Alex's co-conspirator beat him. Turned his scrawny body into a bag of revenge.
"If I were you, I'd end my own life. You'd better follow your parents to hell!" Alex's swearing at Nathan. Leaving the young man alone endured the agonizing pain of his entire body.
Spewing out a red fluid accumulated in his mouth. Nathan thinks he got knocked out by the kick on his face. Dragging his body slowly against a tree not far from its place. His hands were clenched against the emotions that were about to come out. How long must he wait to be free of all this pain?
Nathan can only hide the misery he's got. Can't blame anyone, either. It's his fault, his fault that was born into the world. His pale face was full of bruises and wounds. Treatment would be futile, for it would also result in new wounds. His life just goes on and on. It's a lie that he's always grateful for his ruined life. He wistful eyes gazed at the window where he could see straight out. The sky out there looks beautiful. Nathan felt so unjust that he couldn't even enjoy the beauty of life. Just outside stood a huge tree that had shed its leaves. Even a mindless plant can defend itself in the weather that could kill it. Why does god always abandon him?
'You'd better follow your parents to hell!'
Yeah, right. For what he still stands in the world. No one's expecting him, he's completely worthless. Nathan reached in front of his pencil case. Grabbed the thing he was looking for, a cutter. His shoulders quivered against the crying that came out, and soon his load would be lifted. Soon he won't feel pain anymore.
Ziiiiing~~
The phone in his pocket was vibrating just before Nathan had managed to slit his left wrist. A little relief came, a mobile tremor brought him consciousness back. Quickly Nathan puts back in cutter before he changes his mind. A little shaky the skinny fingers slowly open his phone.
'Hurry home, we'll wait for you at home'
A brief message was sent by Wyatt. Nathan gave a vague smile as he read word for word. Maybe to others it seems petty, but not to Nathan. His heart warms, a hope reappears. The hope of a better life. The hope of surviving an exhausting life was endless.
'Well, I'll be home early'
Nathan typed a message with a faint smile etched on his lips. He was too happy to even notice the red ooze from his nose.
"Use this," says a girl sitting right across from him. Nathan looked at his outstretched handkerchief. He still shuts down to digest what's going on.
"Your nose is bleeding." The girl said, pointing at Nathan's nose.
"Oh.. Yeah. Thanks.." His hands still trembled at receiving the girl's handkerchief. It's kind of surprising that it's the first time someone from his school has helped out. Did he look that pathetic?
"I'll give it back after I wash it," Nathan says. His face still bowed, unable to stare. Like a habit.
"No, you need more."
Nathan nodded. Is this what it's like to be treated? This is so incredible. Something Nathan has never felt since he moved to this school. He stealthily looked at the girl. "Sasha Veronica," Nathan muttered, read the combination of names on the girl's chest.
Don't wonder why he didn't know her. Nathan spent most of his life at school keeping his face down. The habit comes because of constant abuse. Forced to bow even with his foot on his head. Nathan squeezed Sasha's handkerchief. It would be the most valuable thing in his life.
Nathan wrote a message on his phone, and now he's smiling. Like someone who has won the lottery. Now he felt he could breathe a sigh of relief, even for a moment. Small happiness after a great misfortune. Enough to turn Nathan's weight around.
'Guys, let me tell you something interesting.'