You can do this, Gray. You are confident. You are amazing. No need to overthink. You will make friends. This is your chance to start anew. This new chapter of your life will be amazing. This is your chance to be...'
"Gray!" My mom distracted me from my thoughts. "Are you okay? Are you nervous?" She laughed. "Relax! I'm sure they are as nervous as you are. They don't know anyone there just like you. You are all starting this journey together. Make friends and just relax, alright?" She knows me too well.
We are getting nearer and nearer. My breathing was getting heavier as we approach the gate of my new school. I saw it, the famous arch. This will be my second home for the next 4 years (hopefully just the next 4 years right?). My mom stopped just when we entered the gates. She opened the window slightly, "Kuya, saan po yung college of Architecture?" she asked the guard. My heart jumped. Breathe Gray!
I stopped paying attention to what they were talking about. I continued to look around my new school. There were two fountains on each side of the arch. Just after it was an area that looked like a park. If I wasn't so nervous I would have been much happier to see this a beautiful view but instead, I was a nervous wreck.
My mom drove around and stopped in one of the buildings. It was near a football field, not really something that makes me excited. The building was also near one of the gates. Access to cheap food, i liked that much more.
"This is you, bubba" my mom told me. "Enjoy your first day. I'll pick you up later." I saw the car drive away. One more deep breath and on to the battlefield, I go. Okay, that's a bit too dramatic but at that time it was what I was feeling.
"Excuse me, hi, umm, do you know where room 208 is?" I asked a guy sitting alone on one of the benches. He looked at me with a frown. "It's..." When he saw me he smiled. Why was he smiling? "It's on the second floor. Take the stairs then turn right. It will be easy to see it."
"Thank you." I told him quietly. I knew it shouldn't matter but all I could think was 'Why is he smiling?Good job Gray. It hasn't even been an hour and you've already pissed someone off.' I shook the thought off my mind. 'You probably wouldn't see him again so stop stressing'
I entered room 208. There were already some people there. Most were talking with one another. A girl from one of the groups went to talk to me. She was a petite girl. She had a fair skin and a cute bunny-like face. She was very cute.
"Hi, I'm Neena."
"Hi" I answered. "My name's Gray." Ask her something Gray. Befriend her. Talk to her some more.
She sat next to me. "Taga-saan ka? Where did you graduate highschool?"
"I'm from Quezon City" She seemed so nice. She was someone I feel like I could get along with. "I graduated from Ateneo."
"Kinakabahan ka din ba? Kinakabahan ako." She said.
I laughed. So it was not just me."Oh my gosh girl, I'm super nervous as well. I couldn't even sleep well last night."
She laughed with me. "Oh wait, sorry. Can you understand Tagalog?" She seemed genuinely concerned.
" Yeah. Umm.. I can understand it pero di ako makapag... umm.. talk well." I tried. I hate my accent when I speak Tagalog. I am self-aware enough to know that it just sounds so annoying.
"It's okay." She said laughing. "you're so cute. "
She wasn't annoyed at all. I think I was right , she was nice and we could be friends.
"Sorry I forgot to ask. Where are you from?"
Neena and I continued to talk and share stories about our lives. I learned that she came there from the province and that she was staying in one of the apartments near the campus. She told me about her family and her boyfriend. I told her about my family and my lack of boyfriend. She was not shocked to learn that I was gay at all. She told me she did not want to assume but she loves that she can be friends with a gay guy. I laughed really hard when she told me that. My impression of her is she is a kind of person who just loves life and happiness. I like that.
One professor came and then another and before I knew it the day was over. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was actually kind of nice.
"How was your first day?" My mom asked me.
"It was good. I made a new friend. We're sitting next to each other during classes. She seems nice."
"Your friend is a girl? Is she pretty?" She asked me teasingly.
"Have you seen any of the famous UAAP players yet?" My sister changed the topic, much to my delight.