"I'm fiiinnneeeee....." I sighed as Jayce held me in his arms like a princess. My arms were wrapped around his neck, my face buried in its crook. His cool skin felt nice and his throat hummed happily. My face and eyes stun from crying but my body was still fuzzy from the alcohol. The world was spinning around me.
"No you're not, you nearly fell onto the fire." His voice was stern yet playful, giving my thigh a light squeeze from carrying me. I could feel it through the thick cloak and my light skirt, making me dig my face in deeper.
"I wouldn't have if you let me take the cloak off."
"If you took the cloak off you would have been shirtless."
"You could have told me that the buttons were undone!" I slurred my words together as I slapped my hand against his shoulder blade and wiggled my legs in the open night air in defiance.
"Easy there, easy." He squeezed me again with both hands on my thigh and my shoulder. I stopped moving to his soothing voice, my drunken stupor overtaking me again so I was nothing but deadweight. Everything was giving me sensory overload. The loud cries and cheers of giddy people, the crackling of fire and rustling of fabrics from the tent. The smell of burning wood, strong liquor and cooking meat making me feel a little queasy. I tried to move my cloak again as sweat started to collect on my chest and forehead, forgetting once again that I had undone my buttons. I hadn't worn any sort of bustier or corset under my dress because the only one I had that was clean had the laces break earlier in the day. I hadn't though it would have been a big deal to not wear even a slip under my loose blouse, which was an obvious mistake. As I tried to move it again Jayce suddenly increased his grip on me and pushed me closer to his chest.
"I already to told you to wait until you get to bed. I know you're warm but bear with it." He whispered to me, covering me with his large body from peering eyes as well passed. His voice sounded innocent but the words sent waves of seductive fire down my veins and I almost shook from the feeling. I wanted to smack my face to sober up but I only felt more fuzzy and out of sorts than before. My rationality started to slip farther and farther away the closer we got to the tent. I started to swing my feet, easily distracted and rolling my head back to look at they sky. Unlike my old world filled with pollutants and bright lights, the sky here was clear and dotted with an array of constellations and stars. They twinkled down upon me, reminiscing about how thry used to mock me from that old wretched mansion I was trapped in. Now they sky was stretched out before me bare and glittering.
"So pretty..." I managed to mumbled before my eyes flickered over to Jayce. Everytime I saw his handsome features my heart rate picked up. His cordial and caring nature to me made my heart feel like a mess with guilt and interest which I felt I had no right to have. His ebony hair was pushed back from him running his fingers through it, with a few strands falling over his forehead. His gold eyes were focused, and a light pink dusting over his high cheekbones. He cleared his throat, and suddenly the sky was replaced by black fabric being illuminated by magic fire dancing in the air. It glittered and glowed-- a gift from Ignis under orders of Jayce. The magic fire didn't radiate heat and acted almost like dancing fireflies. He didn't admit it, but I had a gut feeling that it had to do with my feverish disposition. He bent over, and I felt my body hit something soft. The makeshift bed bent underneath me, and I swung my legs over the corner of the bed so I was sitting upright. Jayce crouched down as I did so, and I heard his knees crack sharply as he did so. His long and rough fingers gently touched my chin to raise it to look him in the eyes as I swayed trying to regain my bearings.
"Oh." I said as his cool skin touched me, a little startled. He chuckled, smiling softly at me with such a gentle face it made me felt like I was metling.
"Do you need anything?" His voice was as soft as his face and he traced my jawline with his fingers, his eyes lingering on me for a moment. The atmosphere in the tent shifted for a brief moment, but something in my gut was telling me I was misinterpreting. My fingers were tingling as were my lips and I wanted to lean over and seal them against his but I held back. I had changed the story so much already. Even though I knew it was probably for the better, I still didn't deserve to try and insert myself in his happiness. When he was staring at me like that it was hard to hold myself back.
"Um..." He perked up at my sentence, his eyes never leaving me for a second as I became a squirming blushing mess underneath his eyes. His fingers reached up and ran down my cheek, and it seemed like he was leaning forwards.
"W-Would you be able to get me a drink?" He blinked at my flustered words. I was fidgeting as his hands stopped moving and he seemed to freeze. I felt like I had done something wrong and ruined the moment, feeling my heart drop to my stomach. He just smiled again and nodded, pushing his knees with his hands to help him stand.
"Of course I will. Do you want anything else?" I shook my head vigorously trying to hide my face from his almost omnipotent gaze. He chuckled once more before ruffling my hair and sauntering off almost too calm from our close encounter. Once his back left the fluttering tent exit I let out a loud sigh than deflated my chest.
"Holy shit he can't do that to me." I muttered into the open air as the magic fire orbs whizzed around me casting vauge shadows. I fell backwards on the bed, ripping off the button from the cloak and feeling the cool air from the night air against the hot skin if my chest. I reached up to rebutton up the blouse but paused. The scene and feelings from before ran through my mind, and I clutched the fabric of my shirt. My relationships in my past life were not good at all. I spent my days in a loveless relationship for years, working my body to the bone as a single provider to the house. I was abused financially, emotionally and mentally. I knew that it wasn't what love was supposed to be but I believed that I couldn't get better. Now this is my second life, and even though I don't think I deserve to harbour feelings for a man whose future I destroyed without his knowledge. But these signals he's sending is making my heart go into a flutter. I died once with regrets in such a violent way, I didn't want to die again with them weighing me down. I unconsciously started fiddling with my buttons as I thought, trying to push the buttons back in their holes. Because I was so lost in my imagination and thoughts, I wasn't making progress quickly. I got two buttons together and covered my navel but not the tops of my breasts before I heard someone clear their throat. I lifted myself on my elbows to see Jayce looking to the left at his writing desk with a bottle of wine in one hand and two smaller metal mugs in the other
"I-I figured that you could have a drink with me if that's okay." He wasn't looking at me straight, and I could see his arms quaking.
"I-I'm sorry I can't seem to get the buttons back on." I sat up again and tried to fumble with them once more, but now my fingers were shaking too much. I only had three buttons to go but my shaking hands made it an near impossible mission. I started cussing under my breath, embarrassed and flustered. Large cold hands came into my view, gently grabbing my shaking ones with unspoken confidence.
"Let me help." His voice was barely over a whisper as he skillfully threaded the buttons through the stiff loops. My breath hitched in my throat and the Jayce didn't seem to be breathing. I felt his skin brush against mine, and I shuddered. As I did he had a quick intake of breath, shuddering with me. As the final button fell through the loop, we both let out a shaky sigh.
"Then," He offered me his large palm once more with a devillish look in his eye.
"Would you care to have a drink with me, milady?"
"...and then Camille told me that I should wear more Theosian clothing, but I am not quite sure of I can with how revealing they are." I giggled, rasing my mug to my mouth again to bring the sweet wine to my mouth. After our awkwardness, we decided to sit on the bed together and have some idle chatter. As the sweet red wine flowed, we both became more at ease than the earlier. The tenseness was ebbed away by short humorous stories I was regaling. Jayce stayed mostly quiet, intersecting every once in a while while also skillfully never spilling any information about himself. I never pried nor asked, just kept talking to keep the tension alleviated.
"That is true, as much as I think you would beautiful in them I don't think they would fit your purity." The sudden sweet words and the excess of alcohol made me almost immune to becoming flustered. It also increased my boldness as well. I just smiled at him sweetly, and reached out and grabbed his hand with mine.
"I would love to see you in some Theosian clothes. You always wear black and you would look so much better in colours." His smile remained but there was emotion welling I his eyes I couldn't place.
"I could say the same thing to you as well." He swept up my hand in his, bringing the skin of my knuckles to his lips and placing a small chaste kiss. His lips were soft and cold, sending electricity down my spine. His eyes bore into mine with a burning emotion, his hand gripping my own with gentle force.
"If you keep acting like this, I might believe that you're sweet on me." I chuckled once more and tried to pull my hand away but he held firm. He looked like he wanted to say something and a thickness hung in the air around us. It made it difficult to breathe properly and I even noticed my own breath becoming hitched and ragged. The air was loaded, even after he released my hand. His gaze never faltered even for a moment. The world was becoming so much for my sense to bear, whizzing around me like I was on a swing high in the sky. I could feel myself teetering as Jayce reached out for me and held me still.
"What did you mean earlier when you said you ruined my happy ending?" His words cut through my hazy drunkenness, pain twinning at my heart as I dropped my head to look at my life.
"You were supposed to fall in love with my sister and be happy, but I ruined it." The words fell from my lips in a slurring mess and I fidgeted with my hands. My swaying intensified and my eyes grew crossed and hazy from exhaustion.
"And why do you think that I would have fallen for her?" He leaned forward, capturing my fidgeting hands with his own and bringing my soft tender palm to his lips. They brushed over my palm gently, almost seductively. His eyes were also hazy from liquor and his hair was tousled back. The scene before me was so seductive it made me lose my bearings for a moment.
"Its what was supposed to happen." I muttered, my other senses than touch becoming dull. I could barely see, and could only taste wine. However each millimeter of skin he was touching was sending shooting tingles or electricity.
"Are you clairvoyant?" My head shook side to side making my stomach churning a bit.
"Fate is what we make it to be," He leaned over the desk, making the desk rattle from the movement. He accidently knocked against his mug, barely standing upright from the jostle. His face got alarmingly close to mine on a fraction of a second, his warm breath fanning my face. I could smell campfire oozing off him, a very pleasant scent. He released my trembling hands and took my chin in his two fingers when I tried to look away from him. My heart was pounding in my ears and I was nearly vibrating in the spot. All my guilt that had been built up for a while flushed itself away, and suddenly I had a primal craving for his lips against mine. I was so disconnected from reality that I didn't even noticed my fingers reached up and curl around his dress shirt, as if begging him to stay.
"I make my own fate and my own decisions, not somebody else." He surged forward, causing me to hiccup for a moment from the sudden movement. Just millimeters away from his lips touching mine, all of a sudden his muscles tense and his supporting hand gripped the chair I was on so tightly the wood beneath him cracked a bit. His actions left us both breathless and flustered as he held himself there for a second as if gathering his sanity. He turned my head to the side, placing a small peck on my cheek. I was stunned, embarrassment coursing through me. Did I do something wrong? Does he hate me? I had countless thought running through my head making me quake as he pulled away. My heart that was just in my throb spiral into my stomach making it cramp and my nerves feel cold and shot.
"I-- uh--- I--" He was trying to cover his bright red face, shaking just as much I as was. It was a sudden shift from his previously confident behviour. Even his ears were stained red.
"I forgot Ignis wanted my help with something. Go to bed, don't wait up for me." His tone was jittery yet warm but his words sliced through my chest. I felt frozen and could only watch him scurry away. In that moment I had never felt more disappointed or heartbroken.