As each day passed in the last week of the raid, I felt myself getting sadder. I was bed ridden for three of those days from my flu, with Camille, Jayce and Jubilee checking on me every once in a while. Jayce was especially attentive to my needs during that time, barely even sleeping until I was well enough to walk without getting dizzy. Each moment felt like it was melting away, being stolen one second at a time. To keep face for the both of us since this was a political mission, we kept our budding courtship away from prying eyes. It's not like much has changed with our previous arrangement since we were stuck in a dangerous forest with not much else to do. Jayce was still sleeping on his makeshift cot in the tent, and we hadn't had any intimate physical contact other than his usual light touches and soft pecks on the top of my head which only increased in frequency. It started off as his fingers brushing against my back whenever he passed me. It could easily be played off from others as him impolitely informing me that he was behind me. Unlike my world, contact between unwed men and women was frowned upon unless in a formal engagement. Then whenever he entered the tent and I was in there he would beeline to me to place a small kiss on my forehead. The first few times I had been so flustered by his actions that I tried to hide my face. He would grin and rub my cheek before going back to regular business. Everything was so new and strange, like we were walking on golden eggshells just waiting for them to break. It remained like that until the final day of the raid. I opened my eyes groggily to hear the shuffling of papers. I turned my head to see Jayce hunched over his desk as per usual, absorbed in something scribbled on dusty paper. His hair was damp and I could see a sheen on his skin, so it was quite clear he had already been up long enough to take a bath. His black ravens feather quill in hand he scrawled quickly, focused and precise. I was a little melancholy, knowing that this would be that last time in quite some time I would see him. How long, I had no idea. In fact, despite our courtship he proposed, I was prepared for him to forget me when he returned to the capital, even though a selfish part of me prayed he didn't.
"What documents have you so focused?" I almost added the 'your grace' at the end but I managed to bite my tongue. He jumped s bit at my voice and turned quickly to see me with big eyes of excitement. He wasted no time in pushing away from his chair and standing up. I couldn't hear his kneecaps crack, the sound echoing and bouncing around the tent. He sauntered over to me, lackadaisically sitting next to me as I sat up on the bed. His large hand came up and wrapped around the back of my head, pulling me closer to him for him to plant a chaste kiss on my forehead. I blushed furiously, but gave myself permission internally to allow this behaviour for the upcoming departure.
"Just some estate documents Ignis provided with me earlier." Even though he was no where near his territory and was in the middle of a dangerous hunt, he was still pouring his extra energy into caring for each town and village. Just like in the book he was described as a man with a dark past, but a light in his heart that was warm and bright. Seeing it first hand, I was happy that the author didn't lie about his kindness. I was already skeptical of everything she had written, doubting every interaction and every smile my way. All, except for Jayce who exuded a aura of warmth and kindness to me. I would be frank and admit that he was cold to others, but everyone still respected him. I realizes that I had been spacing out to such a degree only when rough fingertips gently caressed my cheek. I blinked the sleep and dreams away and focused on him, smiling softly.
"Where did you just wander off to?" He chuckled, twirling a few strands of my air between his fingertips. His entire being was relaxed, almost as if my presence was like the best anti anxiety medication for him. It was so peaceful, I almost forgot that this was all ending. My chest tightened at the thought making it hard to breath. I don't know how I became so attached and accustomed to his presence, especially since most other men made me secretly frightened. I just felt so at ease and safe, a strange feeling I never really had before. It was like a drug to me now, and I knew that the supply would be cut short possibly indefinitely.
"No where in particular." My voice cracked a bit and his eyebrows shot up at the sound. His eyes scanned my face as if trying to dig into my soul before he patted my stomach and lifted off the bed.
"Today is the last time you can see Camille for a while. You should go spend time with her whole you can." While his words to me were thoughtful, they had a twisted sharpness to them that made me hold my breath. It was a very considerate thing to say, but secretly deep down I was disappointed that he didn't want to spend more time together. It was the first time I ever felt like this and it was a scary feeling. Unconsciously I touched my chest from the pang, but I hid it with a small smile.
"Okay."
The last day blurred past me like sand falling between my fingers. For the most part there were not hunting parties leaving, just packing up and preparing to go at dawns lights. I spent my day helping Camille pack her insane amounts of clothing and jewelery she had stuffed in her satin tent. I had never seen such expensive things in my life before and all I could do was gape as she threw around the items like it was garbage to her. I helped her until it the sun was dipping below the clouds. She was a little teary eyed when I retired, and I could feel eyes on me as I moved through the thick crowds to get back to Jayce's tent. I was a little hungry as I had been so enraptured in the day that I had only eaten a small piece of bread from this morning. The mess tent was swarmed however, and I decided to go back to Jayce's tent to pack my things before I returned to let the crowd disperse. My things could only fit in a satchel, but Jayce had provided me with a seperate bag to pack my dress given to me by Mother Meredith. I had already prepackaged that in the thick black leather bag, the symbol of Hraesvelgr etched intricately on the side. My mind was groggy and full of endless thoughts when I pulled back the curtain of the tent only to be met with a scene I wasn't expecting.
"Oh, you're back!" Jayce straightened himself, nearly knocking over the glasses he was setting up. He had removed all of the documents from his desk and had covered it with a sheet to make it look like a table cloth. He directed one of the magic lights to act as candles over it. Set up was a makeshift dinner date using the mess hall metal plates and scooners, and a handful of wildflowers in another mug. He looked embarrassed, holding a bottle of wine while trying to fix up the plates that held what looked to be some sautéed vegetables and a bird drumstick of some kind he hunted outside. It was large so at the very least it had to have been a larger bird-- possibly a bird of prey. He was wearing a navy blue tunic top shirt and black pants, his hair pushed backwards out of his eyes. He saw me looking at him in such confusion that he tugged on the hem of his shirt.
"I-I remember you said you would have liked to see me in more colour so I borrowed this from a friend." My hands went to my face, trying to cover the budding tears that were pricking my eyes. My heart was swelling as I had never been so touched. No one had ever done so much for me before, and seeing the amount of effort he went in for someone he had just been courting for a week I felt my legs start to tremble. My feelings for him were mostly that of a fan looking at her celebrity crush. It was still new and unknown to me. Now I had a warm fuzzy feeling in my chest, the same feeling I got in the beginning of my first relationship in my old life. It was confusing and a lovely feeling, but I couldn't help but almost cry. He heard my soft wheezing sound from trying not to cry and nearly broke something trying to stumble over. I could sense the panic in his footsteps as he rushed over and gently grabbed my shoulders.
"I'm sorry! This is probably pretty ugly, and the shirt probably doesn't fit and the food--"
"Its perfect." I lifted my hands from my face, still biting back tears. His face was still filled with fear but looked a little more relieved. This warm feeling flooding my limbs made me feel almost heavy and protected, it was a feeling I hoped I could hold onto. We stood there for a moment as he let me get my bearings, trying to breathe heavily so I could hold back my tears.
"You did this... for me?" He nodded furiously, his grip on me tightening as his face pinkened. I wanted to cry even more now but I managed to give him a genuine smile, not one I pasted on for politeness or courtesy. He looked at me like he was looking at the sun. At this rate he was going to make me greedy in the future for the same feeling and looks. We stood there for a moment, drinking each other in, smiling like damnable fools as the sun set leaving us in darkness.