Trigger warning: mentions of gore and sexual assault.
I had no control over my actions. When I woke up to the sound of rolling thunder my body just started running. I was looking for something-- no someone-- but I didn't know who. It was like I would know it when I saw it. The rain tore at my skin and the strange shirt night dress I was wearing. Mud stuck to my skin and I slipped and slid through the grass. When a bright light flashed through the sky, I dipped into the closest tent out of fear. I felt like the man was following behind me and I was barely dodging his knife. Even though the tent was dimly lit, I almost immediately whacked my head off of something hard. I fell to my knees as crashing sounds were all around me. I was too busy trying to keep myself from crying from the trauma and now my pounding head as I was in a sea of fallen equipment. Everything to me was a blur from my racing emotions from the growing storm outside. When I saw Jayce though, it was like my fear temporarily melted away. I didn't know why though since every other time I saw him I usually felt uncomfortable and guilty. I ruined his happy ending after all. That was when the storm picked up around us, and all I could do was go catatonic. I flew forward as if trying to shield myself from the flashing light snd the raging storm. My life kept flashing before my eyes because I had no where to run. I was fully exposed to the elements, cold and drenched like it was that night. I couldn't help the stinging bile that crept up my throat. I spewed it onto the wet ground before me before being suddenly pulled into a blissful embrace. It felt so familiar, the smell of sandlewood and vanilla floating into my nose. It was soothing but it still couldn't stop my pounding heart. I clung to the wet material beneath my hands like itbwas my only anchor to this world, trying to focus of the soothing breathing of the man beneath my finger tips. His heartbeat was racing too, beating against my cheek pressed firmly against his chest. Instinctively I curled myself closer to him, unaware of my own actions as the tent threatened to collapse. He whispered in my esr his intention to leave, but as soon as the hard rain hit my skin I started screaming like a banshee. Suddenly I was back on the ground, watching the knife plunge into my skin. I felt every slash, every stab once again as the rain hit me. Jayce was no longer holding me, I was pinned to the ground watching my blood sprayed from my body. I could see that man's mocking
eyes staring down at me again, groping me and crushing me. I couldn't escape it. It was like the memory was replaying over and over again. That was until suddenly I enveloped by warmth. As soon as I was, the vision before me melted instantly. The dark and mocking eyes of my murdered disappeared and all I could see were kind gold orbs staring back at me. I stopped screaming, the phantom pain disappearing as quickly as it came. I had minor whiplash trying to figure out what had just happened over the last fifteen minutes. My brain was slow and I couldn't figure it quite out. My throat and eyes were sore, and heavy material was sticking to my skin. My breath was heavy and harsh, my face cold but my body warm.
"Are you okay Lady Rhea?" Jayce's voice penetrated my brain and pulled me from my fog like some sort of spell. I was sitting in some sort of stone basin on the ground, surrounded by steaming water that was comfortably warm. We were back in his tent, the wind pushing at the thick black fabric but jot as much as the burlap of the last one. Torchlight was casting eerie shadows against us. Jayce was hanging over the side of the stone tub, his sleeves rolled up with one arm in the water clutching my submerged knee and the other on the back of my neck. He was soaking wet, the white tunic top he was wearing completely drenched. His hair was pushed back and dripping and his pale skin flushed a bit. His usual stoic expression was shattered with plain worry on his face. I also noticed immediately that we were not alone. The Theosian woman from before was just behind him, using her magic to pull off the water from her colourful clothes. She was as elegant and beautiful as always, every movement graceful like she was dancing. I heard a small sneeze from the other side of me and I turned my head to see the little elf girl looking like a wet cat. Her usual poofy hair was slick from the water and pressed against her tiny shivering frame.
"Miss water lady, can you do me next?" She coughed.
"My name is Camille, Miss Jubilee. I am okay with casual speech, but at the very least use my name." Her sparkling sapphire eyes looked dully at the whining girl. My throat was too hoarse to say anything else. I could only reach up and touch my throat after I tried. Jayce's cool but comforting hand was still strongly holding the back of my neck, pulling his thumb up and stroking my cheek. My mind flashed back for a breif moment and I flinched away. I could see a fleeting emotion in his eyes from my actions and took his hand away. I wanted to apologize but my voice wouldn't come out. Camille was watching me as Jubilee complained, stomping toward the stunning woman childishly. The water mage listened to her request and drew the water out of her black and red traditional mage robes.
"Why didn't you make a covering with yourself with your magic?" Camille grumbled annoyed at the tiny girl.
"Why didn't you?" She barked back, waving her arms like a child trying to anger and adult. Jayce was back to being stoic and pulled himself away from me, removing his arm from the hot water. As soon as his hand left my knee my body was ringing alarm bells of distress. I managed to make a faint squeaking noise and grab his wrist before her could fully pull it out.
Why was I doing this? Ever since that day I didn't necessarily hate being around men, but I kept my distance from my trauma. Not only that I had promised myself that I wouldn't become involved with any of the main characters. Why was my body not listening to things I wanted originally? Jayce looked as surprised as I was. I let go of him reluctantly, feeling guilty for my inappropriate actions. Instead his face just softened into a small and pleasant smile as if I had wiped away some sort of pain that was corroding him. I still couldn't find my voice, just could sit helplessly in this tub. The warmth was filling my bones, soothing me from the raging storm outside. I was still flinching involuntarily at the rumbling noise, but as the other two kept bickering like children Jayce scooted himself closer to me.
"Are you okay Lady Rhea?" He asked as he got closer to me. It just dawned on me that he had been calling me Lady Rhea not Mercy. I could tell he could recognize me, it was in his golden eyes. I had so many questions buzzing in my head but all I couldn't manage was a shake of my head. I wasn't alright, far from it and there was no use in lying. So why was he? He frowned when I shook my head, but reached out and rolled his fingers across my back.
"Thank you for being honest with me." He traced the knobs of my spine and my body automatically started to relax. It felt more like I was speaking to an old friend rather than that of a scary and cold male lead.
"S-Sir! What are you doing?" Jubilee screeched, suddenly ripping away from Camille and pounding her tiny fists on Jayce's wet back. The pounding noise sounded similar to when the man hit my skin with his fist and I instantly push my hand out. I connected with her tiny shoulder, someone causing her to lose her balance and fall on her rear. Everyone was silent, looking at the tiny sheep hair elf girl on the floor. Tears bubbled in her eyes and she started scream crying into the air.
"She pushed me! She pushed me!" She shrieked like a banshee making my ears ring. She was acting like a five year old on the playground when she must have been at least sixteen. She was pounding the ground with her fists as she took her tantrum.
"Jubilee, calm down." Jayce's voice went ice cold. When he looked at her on the ground his eyes were sharp and menacing. Even Camille flinched.
Jubilee ignored him and kept going.
"I'm sorry she can't help it. Elves are very in tune with nature so the storm is making her act out." Jayce looked to me with a softer expression and kept his movements. I wanted to apologize but my throat was still paralyzed.
"Usually she wouldn't be do any of this. I'll thoroughly punish her later." He shot her another death gaze but I just tugged at his shirt. I should have been the one punished not her, especially if this reaction was out of her control. I would have to ask him later when I was able to not punish her for my faults. She calmed down a bit, still sniffling like a child.
"You're so mean Captain!" She wailed before a brown gold magic circle appeared over her head and she ran out of the tent. The rain bounced off of the circle as she ran and I couldn't help but feel bad. This girl came here to help and I only shoved her harshly to the ground. I looked at my hands in horror as if I was some sort of monster. Suddenly a dark slender hand moved over my own and clasped it. Camille was leaning over the basin, one hand on me and the other drawing the cold water from Jayce. He looked at her with pure fury, staring at our two hands connecting.
"She'll be fine. Are you going to be able to bathe yourself?" Camille's words were soft, ignoring the burning fury of the Archduke beside her. I was curious about status she had to be able to ignore the anger of the devillish man beside her. I was still slightly catatonic, unable to respond. I felt like a vegetable. She just nodded and removed her hand from Jayce even though he wasn't totally dry. She waved her right hand, making the water below me sparkle a pale blue.
"Sir Jayce, I'll have to help her bathe. Perhaps you should wait out--"
"No!" His voice boomed like thunder although I didn't flinch. He instantly looked embarrassed and flustered, looking away to the door as if to watch if anyone would come in.
"It would be unfair if I had to stand in the rain. I'll turn around." He grumbled with a pink face, turning on his butt so his back was resting against the stone basin. The back if his neck snd ears were bright pink. She knew that there was no use in arguing with him, and I didn't want him to have to step in the rain and wait there. Camille reached out, lining water with her hands and combing her fingers through my already wet and cold hair. The warmth spread across my head and I saw mud mixed in with the water flowing from my head.
"Could you at least go and get me your soap before I have to strip her? Her hair is filled with mud." Jayce turned back to us, looking st me with pleaded eyes.
"I-I didn't realized you were going to take her clothes off." He stammered, covering his mouth with his large scarred hands.
"She's covered in dirt!"
"I have to go to the bath tent to get it. Maybe I should go o-outside then." Jayce went to go stand and again my body acted on its own. I grabbed his shoulder tightly, making a incoherent noise. My nose was stinging as were my eyes. He looked bewildered as did Camille as I tugged at him, trying to get him not to leave. Something was telling me that if he left all those memories would come flooding back to me. The silence was loaded and no one had to speak to understand.
"Do you have any spare soap or is it just the stuff you left in the tub house?" Camille sighed, rolling her fingers softly in my hair to soothe me. Jayce looked like he suddenly had a good idea.
"No, but I know something that can get it." He looked a little bashful and ashamed. I already knew what he was talking about. The Curse of Hel was linked to necromancy. When Jayce killed something, he was able to absorb their power and soul into his mana and create a powerful shadow of the thing that followed his command. They couldn't get any more powerful then what they were in life, but their souls fed his mana and made him stronger as well. Not only that, but he couldn't choose when to take a soul if it was useful or leave it behind. He didn't like using his ability unless it was absolutely necessary. To me this wasn't a necessary use. I shook my head and pulled at him again. I didn't need soap, no I didn't want him to do something he didn't want to do. I couldn't say anything though leaving me helpless. Before anyone could even say anything the tent was flung open with a panting figure running in. It was Lupin, drenched like a dog and holding a cloth bundle to his chest.
"Your grace, you left your things in the--" Lupin stopped moving when he saw the situation and Jayce's burning face of anger.
"Lupin." Jayce's voice was cold and merciless causing the usually annoying and harsh man to tremble. Lupin looked mortified, dropped to the ground with the items falling around him and hitting his forehead to the ground.
"I beg your forgiveness, your grace!" He squeaked, his entire body trembling harshly from fear. Everyone was looking at the items from the bath around Lupin, odd timing to me and ai wondered for a moment if what Jayce said had anything to do with it. It was like time was standing still, like Jayce was trying to figure out how punish him for intruding and we were helpless to watch. My tint cold hands were still on him and he flicked his eyes over to me for a moment.
"Get going so Lady Rhea can take her bath. I'll deal with your insolence later." Lupin took no time to scramble to his feet and run out. As the thunder rolled outside, lightning flashing across Jayce's eyes menacingly. It sent chills down my spine but it wasn't fear. I couldn't quite place the emotion, but for some reason it was one I wanted to feel again.