When Adam woke up the next morning he felt as though there was a huge rock weighing down on his chest, slowly he looked around the room, everyone was already up, the mattress that Sharon and Caitlyn shared was empty and he could hear his parents voices coming from the kitchen room, for a while he didn't move, he just lay silently listening to his father's voice and his brothers rhythmic breathing, Kai seemed to be the only other member of the family who had been left to sleep, and wondering why everything felt so wrong, what was it that was weighing down so heavily on his chest.
Finally, after a few minutes of wondering, he pushed himself off the mattress, he decided to have a shower and get dressed before going in to greet his family, though he still wasn't sure why he was feeling weirdly out of touch with them, it wasn't until he'd reached the kitchen door that he remembered what had happened, it came back to him in pieces, a knock on the door, the dark-haired stranger, going away, 'No, not going, being sent.' he corrected 'There's a difference.'
Adam stopped abruptly and contemplated going back to his room, he turned around and would have done it except that his family had already heard him coming so instead he took three deep breaths and carried on with his original plan, when he entered everything went silent and Adam wished he had just gone back to bed, Liam was the first to speak
"Is your brother up?" he asked, Adam shook his head
"Well how are you feeling?" carol asked "Do you want some breakfast?" Adam didn't, his stomach doing flips and he had a terrible headache, but there was no point in saying that, Carol would have made him eat anyway, so instead he just nodded and sat down., he hadn't been expecting much more than a piece of toast, so great was his surprise when he was served a plate of scrambled eggs and baked beans,
"And to honour tradition..." Sharon smiled a placed two slices of toasted homemade bread, and butter, "Some toast."
Adam smiled back at her wondering how much this breakfast must have cost his parents, he knew they were trying to make – up for their decision to send him away, but there was still a week before he left and he didn't want everyone to starve before his father's next paycheck, which, if they kept it up for the entire week, was bound to happen.
With the cost weighing down on his mind Adam felt as though he had no choice but to eat it, so he forced a smile and began eating, he was barely halfway through when he began wondering how much he could get away with leaving, he glanced up briefly and was surprised to see that everyone was staring at him, even Landon, who was sitting by the door putting on his shoes, Adam looked between them in confusion, as Adam watched him Landon broke his gaze to look at Liam and Carol in turns before standing noisily "Um Ok, so... I'm off" he left the house shutting the door quietly behind him, everyone seemed to snap out of whatever trance they were in, Liam remembered that he also needed to go to work and Sharon went with him, Caitlyn found a book and sat down to read while Carol went to wake up Kai.
In the silence of the kitchen Adam finished his food and then not knowing what else to do, he sat staring at his plate and trying to feel slightly optimistic about the days ahead, within minutes he felt as though he was drowning in misfortune, struggling to breathe, he sucked in a deep breath hoping to dull the pounding in his head, he was so focused on his breathing that when Caitlyn spoke her voice seemed distant and shallow, a few minutes had gone by before he realised that she was standing right beside him.
"Are you alright?" she asked "You looked, well, sort of dazed."
Adam nodded "I'm fine, did you want something?" Caitlyn shook her head and the unusual concerned look she had been wearing melted back into the regular cold expression that he was accustomed to.
Adam watched confused as she walked over to the door, for a moment he thought she was going to leave the room but she stopped and turned around
"Hey Adam," she said and Adam noticed that she sounded a little unsure as she spoke, as if she didn't quite know what she was going to say, or perhaps why she was saying it "Look, I'm sorry about... well... everything... you know... well." then she turned and walked out, leaving Adam to feel even more lonely than ever before.
She'd not long left the kitchen when Carol came back in, Kai in tow
"Could I talk to you for a moment please mama?" he asked after she had dished up Kai's breakfast
"Of course" she pulled up a chair beside him "What is it?"
"I want to know..." he started, but found he couldn't complete the sentence, he looked down at his hands and began counting his fingers, which was something he always did whenever he felt nervous or uncomfortable, he counted them five on each hand three times before repeating "I want to know..." he paused and restarted his counting, 1, his right thumb, 2, his right index finger, 3, his right middle finger, 4..., carol grabbed both of his hands enveloping them in her own
"Look at me Adam, I'm your mama, the same mama you've always known, you can talk to me Okay?" Adam nodded but Carol wasn't convinced "Okay?" she asked in a firmer tone
"Ok" he nodded again
"Now, what is it?"
"I want to know why. Is it because I did something wrong?"
"No Adam. Of course not." a small bemused smile curved the corner of her lips but it quickly faded away, the toy shop is closing down" she said looking serious again, Adam didn't react, he didn't know how to "So your father and Sharon will both be out of jobs."
Adam's jaw dropped momentarily but he quickly pulled himself back together "Ok… that's bad… but…" Carol raised her hand and shook her head
"I'm not done."
"But we're a family mum, and yes we'll be struggling but we shouldn't let that tear us apart!" Adam was relieved not to be crying, his stomach churned and tears burned behind his eyelids but as far as he could tell none of that was visible to his mother, "Besides you can't tell me that and expect me to be happy knowing that you're all here struggling to eat." Caitlyn had re-joined them now and nodded in agreement with him, but Carol just shook her head and sighed loudly, a clear indication that she didn't like the path this conversation was taking.
"Yes, I do expect you to be happy. Why wouldn't you be happy?" Adam didn't answer, so Carol went on "If you can't be happy for yourself then think about Kai, doesn't he deserve a comfortable life?" Adam just shrugged it was clear that his mother wasn't understanding things from his point of view and he wasn't sure he could make her so he gave up and thankfully carol didn't push it.
The rest of the week was almost normal, no one mentioned the upcoming event and, for a while, Adam managed to convince himself that it wouldn't happen, the family had reverted back to their usual spending habits, minus a few bits and bobs for the boys every now and then, Adam tried not to notice but he couldn't help it, and after hearing what his mother had said he was worried for his family, and it was this worry that kept him up all night, he wanted to help them but he didn't know how, how could he convince his parents to let him stay, any attempt to breach the subject was immediately shut down, Caitlyn was the only one who was willing to talk about it even when he didn't want to, there were times when it was too painful and Adam found it easier to convince himself that it wouldn't happen, that at the very last minute his parents would suddenly change their minds, but that wouldn't happen and Caitlyn never failed to remind him, so much that Adam was sure she did it deliberately to make him feel upset and these were the exact thoughts going through his mind that Saturday, the day before he was scheduled to leave.
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Adam pressed his lips tightly together to suppress a smile, he hadn't wanted a party but he wouldn't have missed it for the world, the look on Caitlyn's face was too good, he turned to Sharon who met his gaze with a triumphant look, Adam wasn't exactly sure what she felt triumphant about but he was happy to see it.
Adam smiled and got up to go towards her when a hand fell on his shoulder "Enjoying your last day at home?" Caitlyn asked "I hope so, seeing as mama went to all these extremes for you" Adam turned on her but she'd walked away before he could give a worthy response leaving him feeling bitter and angry, 'his last day at home, his eyes began to burn and a sudden feeling of hopelessness settled in, as he stood staring in the direction Caitlyn had just walked, even though she was no longer there, and trying not to cry he found he was suddenly enveloped in Sharon's arms
"Do you want ice – cream? Mama said we can get ice – cream." She let him go and smiled down at him "Special treat… for you." Adam nodded, he held in his breath in a desperate effort to stop his tears from falling, the noises around him dissolved as he focused all his energy on not crying, once he'd managed to gain a little more control he quietly walked away from his sister, took the money from his mother's jar and left the house, he'd figured the walk would help him to get himself under control however it seemed to have the complete opposite effect when Adam walked into the shop, Mr Donato, the shop keeper, smiled "Good to see you, Adam, it's been a long time" Adam smiled back then suddenly, unable to stop himself any longer he ran towards the back of the shop hiding in a corner where no one would see him he started to cry.
At that moment he hated Caitlyn, he'd never really liked her, she'd always been mean to him, but just then he hated her, Caitlyn always ruined everything for him, all the time, he was her main target, Sharon was much too old to be bothered by her, and Kai was too young to understand, that left only him to be picked on and that was exactly what she did.
But that wasn't all, thought Adam, she was just a mean person altogether and she didn't stop to think about anyone else's feelings, that was why he hated her, why did she always feel the need to ruin everything, 'well that's simple ruin is her middle name', Adam thought but still, he felt bothered by her she could never just let him have fun and leave him, she always had to come up with a reason why they shouldn't have this or shouldn't do that and she would usually use money as her excuse, it had gotten to the point where simply hearing her voice could ruin his mood and give him a bad headache, they'd never got on and arguing was sometimes their way of communicating, she often made him cry, although he could usually hold it back better, this time, paired with the inevitable approach of the end of the day, it was just too much to bear, for days he'd been trying his best to hold it down but he couldn't cope anymore.
"Hey" a voice called out, Adam looked up to see Esperanza Donato, the shop keepers daughter, she was 8 years old and very annoying "You know this thing you're feeling," she said "It's called despression" her confident smile wavered a little and she looked up as if she was searching the ceiling for the correct word, Adam groaned inwardly, not only because she was talking to him but also because she had seen him crying, he wanted to scream at her to leave him alone or mind her own business, but he imagined her shocked expressions, the tears in her eyes as she went running to her father, and the disappointed looks or silent disgust from Mr Donato whenever he walked into the shop or if they happened to pass each other in the street, he sighed and looked up with a polite smile, frowning slightly
"I think you mean depression" he said
Esperanza laughed "Yeah that's right, despression" she said nodding "I feel it too sometimes, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, all you need is a little… Esperanza"
Adam frowned "What?"
"Esperanza" She laughed "Hope, it's what my name means, hope."
Adam nodded "That's really kind thanks, but I'm not depressed"
Esperanza shrugged "Good then," she turned to run back to her father calling over her shoulder "Your sister's here"
Adam sighed pushing himself off the wall he walked over to the freezer and got out a tub of ice – cream before slowly making his way to the front of the shop, Sharon smiled at him from the doorway but he couldn't bring himself to smile back he paid for the ice – cream and left with her.
They walked in silence for a while then Sharon sighed "Caitlyn again?"
"She's mean," Adam spat out
"She's upset,"
"She's evil'," he retorted
Sharon laughed "You just have to ignore her,"
Adam shrugged "Why? In a few days, I'll probably never see her again." He saw Sharon wince at that
"Even so, there'll always be people like her, no matter where you are." They stopped outside the house and Sharon turned to face him "You'll see her again Adam; I'll make sure of that." The determination and honesty in her eyes made him smile "You'll see us all again, I promise, you won't be away forever, understand?"
Adam nodded "Yeah"
"Good," Sharon said relaxing suddenly and looking herself again she turned the key in the door and stepped inside singing "Ice – cream, ice – cream!" Adam hung back a little and took a deep breath then went to join his family, Caitlyn gave him an angry look before walking over and apologising to him, and for some reason, Adam couldn't help smiling at her, then he went to sit with his parents as Sharon served the ice – cream he wondered what his new family would be like, he hoped they were nice people but whatever happened he couldn't forget his real family, and he had to make sure that Kai didn't either, he looked at his brother who was smiling and enjoying a small bowl of ice – cream, yes he had to make sure that he always remembered his real family.
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Adam forced a smile as he was introduced to his new parents Robert and Belinda Johnson, he'd heard a little bit about them from his mother, but even she had never met them before, everything she knew had been learned second hand from Sally Turner so it didn't do anything to ease his apprehension at actually meeting them.
They'd shown up in a blue Porsche taycan turbo s, Adam thought that Robert seemed kind though he would never choose him over his own father, but Belinda was haughty and proud Adam didn't like her at all, he wished that he could have a choice but knew that that was entirely out of the question, he was going to live with the Johnson's whether he liked it or not.
Once the greetings were over and everyone had been introduced, Adam went back inside to get his bag he took three deep breaths before bending over and picking it up, Robert helped him pack it into the boot of his car then opened the backdoor for him to get in, Adam turned first to his father who embraced him in a tight hug "You'll be alright." He whispered
Adam nodded then went to hug his mum she didn't say anything but held him tightly, she kissed him softly on his cheek before letting him go, Sharon hugged him next smiling softly and trying her best not to cry, then she walked over to her mother who was still hugging Kai and crying uncontrollably, as he watched them Adam felt a hand on his shoulder "Didn't you forget someone?" he turned to see Caitlyn she smiled when he looked at her but he could see she'd been crying too, Adam frowned
"Really? Who?"
Caitlyn laughed "Whatever," she said hugging him quickly and patting his back "Goodbye little brother, have a good life"
Adam nodded "yeah you too" he smiled feeling a little unsure what to make of her statement, Caitlyn gave him a weird look as if she wanted to say something but didn't know how, instead she just shook her head and went inside. Adam stared after her feeling a bit confused, it seemed like in those few seconds he'd seen a part of Caitlyn that he'd never seen before and probably wouldn't get to see again.
Eventually, he had to go, as he sat in the car beside his brother driving away from everything and everyone he'd known and loved, he wondered what his life had in store for him and what the future would hold.
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Sharon wiped the tears off her face and prepared to sit with her family for another dinner, another normal dinner, she told herself but this dinner would be anything but normal, without Adam, or even little Kai, she didn't know if anything would ever be normal again.
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