I was in shock just kept on staring at my mother, when I got the glimpse of blood, I was terrified, scared, not able to think anything, after a while I got into my senses, I just rushed to my mother splashing all the blood of hers in my trousers and shoes like it was dirt, I put her head on my lap and just started shedding tears staring at her, as some of it fell in her eyes she opened them slowly touched my cheeks with her soft hands which when she touched were very warm and soft maybe because of the warm blood of hers, and she said,
'why are you crying?'
And I held her hands in my face with one hand supporting her head in my lap said,
'you are going to die..'
I don't know what she heard or saw but she just smiled and said,
'Finally, I can see you are grown up enough to take care of yourself'
'Now I can rest in peace'
I was so sad that my mouth was aching I was not able to utter words from my mouth but still with all my energy I tried to carry her to the hospital,
'don't say like that, let's go to hospital. We can still save you'
'Don't give up your hopes'
'Please someone call the ambulance'
I was about to carry her but she held my collar pulled it near her face and said with her faltered voice,
'no need I don't have much time left let me enjoy it with you'
'But I think…'
She stopped me there and just said,
'shut up, and listen to me'
'be a good boy, don't become a mess, learn and grow, and become a fine man'
'But I will miss you' I said.
Then save me!! Those were her last words.
And then I shouted in pain and despair,
'Mommmmm...'
And I just stayed there for hours with her crying.
Sitting there with her body in my lap, I was helpless if there was just a thing I could do for her.
Just everything about her was recalling, all those movements I spent with her.
Her beautiful face, warm lap where I used to sleep every night, then she would put my head in the bed, so that my neck won't start aching, the food she used to make for me it's taste and everything about her, I just can't put my emotions into words.
It was terrific movement of my life, as if my time stopped there.
After a while police came then asked for any elder to call I said my father's name and they were shocked.
They asked, 'Are you son of Mr. Christopher?'
And then they just rushed and suddenly the crowd started growing.
I didn't knew why maybe because of my father's business popularity, I hated it every aspect of it, people were taking pictures of us in that blood, recording, as if I was doing a show.
And then he came in his black Rolls-Royce, well polished, shining in the white snow.
One of his guard got out opened the umbrella, it was red in color brighter than my mom's blood. I don't know why I noticed it, and he got the crowd cleared.
He was wearing a dark-blue suit; a well built man with black shiny boots came near me avoiding the blood in the ground. He came near me offered his handkerchief.
I looked at him,
I was shocked…,
There wasn't even a single drop of tear in his eyes. I thought he was here to share my pain and I would hug him tightly complain about everything that happened to her and cry till there were no tears left in my eyes.
But he looked more of an emotionless man no one could look at him and say this man has lost someone very close, his own wife.
And that look pissed me off really hard. I hit his hand threw the handkerchief.
'Anger wouldn't bring her back'
Now get up fast and let them clear the traffic, he said.
My eyes were red filled with anger and tear, I said, 'who are you to say that?'
you were never there to see how I feel, what I am feeling right now. You don't even know how YOU should feel now
'Because you are just a robot born to earn money'
I said in a vulnerable weak voice,
You said you would be there with us but no, every time your bloody work comes between our family and you always prioritize your work even though you have enough, how much do you need?, I would have been much more happier if we were just a middle class family or even poor
at least we would have lived and died together
My mother died just because you were not there when she needed you most, when I needed you most.
If you were there she might have lived.
I wish you were here instead of her, you should've died.
Doesn't matter anymore, I've decided, from now, 'you are not my father neither I am your son'.
You didn't just lost a wife but also a son, now you are not bound to any relation I hope you will earn with 10 times more pace than now.
You killed your family for your earning and now you will die earning.
Just go away I don't wan' a see your face.
Just leave.
And when I finished he stood up and went.
And now that I think about it, I just vented all my anger my own fear my helplessness on him. And I regretted it for years.