Haneul takes a look around his new room. It is big, at least, bigger than his room at the shelter. There is even a tiny kitchen where he can cook simple meals, a mini fridge, and his own bathroom - a huge improvement from his old room which consists of a bed, small table and his wardrobe.
Staring at the space, the young student wonders how he should fill the room. He never bought anything he didn't need as it required space which he didn't have back then, so he is used to not wanting things. But there is a lot of space, and there will be a lot more once he gets his own place so maybe he should start buying something unnecessary. A few books, CDs maybe. Or even some random mini statues just to fill in the space. He has money to spend anyway. Moreover, now that he entered college and received his first allowance from the scholarship, he should have enough even after all the clubbing he plans to do on days with no morning class the next day.
Laying down on the bed, Haneul stares at the ceiling. And sighs.
This huge space will be his room from now on. This will be his new life. He won't be expected to wake up at seven every day to help out with the shelter, nobody will wake him up if he oversleeps, and nobody will be here to say anything if he messes up… Everything he ever wanted is finally happening but he feels weird.
He feels somewhat empty. Just like the room.
Turning around, Haneul takes out his sleeping pills - the only thing that helps him sleep free from nightmares. He should stop depending on them as much since he no longer has his therapist available 24 hours a day, nor has them living in the same building as him to prescribe the pills when he needs them. If he requires a new prescription, he will have to get himself diagnosed by the school therapist. And the place only opens until 6 in the evening. What if he runs out of medicine in the middle of the night?
This suck. Finding a new therapist sucks, especially the school therapist. They won't care about him, and he seriously does not want to go through having to tell someone about himself again. Having to show his vulnerable self. To someone who sees him as just another patient. But if he doesn't do it, it will be harder for him to get other medicine to help with his conditions. Especially during heats…
"Shit." He breathes in and out deeply, trying to control his respiration. He can control his panic attacks better now but recently, the pressure of starting a new life alone, far from his omega family, triggers it quite frequently. He really needs to stop overthinking.
Everything should be just fine. He needs to stop worrying.
Tomorrow, after meeting all his new dorm-mates, and maybe a few classmates, he will feel better. Things will turn out just fine…
#####
Sangcheol walks around the dormitory, excited to explore. He already met his neighbours – two seniors, one from his major and another from a different one – who greeted him as soon as he walked into his room. In the corner-most of the floor, he discovered a small lounge with a couch and a few chairs and a small television which somehow thrilled him. He doubts he will be using it much as he never watches much shows or dramas to begin with, but he definitely can imagine himself hanging out here with his new friends.
Bzz. Bzz. Taking out his phone, noticing his lover's name, the alpha smiles as he makes his way inside the lounge hoping to call the omega. They haven't been talking lately since both are busy packing up for their respective universities. Gyuri decided to go another university to pursue fashion design. Though he is disappointed that they will finally be apart for the first time since they knew each other, he understands that fashion is not this university's strong point so he lets her go without being bitter about it. Luckily, her college is also located in Seoul so even though they will not be able to see each other every day like they did, at least both of them will still be in Seoul. They will still be going out for dates on the weekends.
"Hey! Are you done unpacking?" Sangcheol asks excitedly, wondering what his lover is doing.
"Not really… We're walking around."
"Cool." Sangcheol waits a few seconds for her to ask him about his day, but there is only silence. He then decides he should lead the conversation, just for the sake of continuing it.
Phone conversations were never their thing since they were always together so it is not surprising that Gyuri is not being her chatty self. Besides, she is walking, she might be tired. However, considering they will only meet once a week from now, Sangcheol thought they should start getting used to phone calls. He is not going to lie; it does feel awkward. He doesn't know what she is doing and cannot comment on it, and she seems like she is busy too. On the other hand, if he hangs up now, he feels like they will give up phone conversations all together.
Opening his mouth to start another conversation, "I'm a bit busy. Talk to you later."
"Oka-"
Beep.
Sangcheol looks at the phone, a bit caught off-guard that the omega hung up on him so suddenly. Well, not that he actually asked her if she could talk before calling anyway so he cannot really blame her. She might have started her orientation process hence why she is busy.
He should try again tonight, since he is sure Gyuri will be in her room. Or tomorrow, if she is tired tonight. He really misses listening to her voice.
#####
"Owh god." Haneul rolls his eyes when the seniors ask them to gather in their respective groups, yet again. For the past two days they had been forced to do childish group activities as ice-breaking sessions and honestly, he has enough of it. They kept the freshman up until late at night screaming nonsense, had them running around getting signatures from random people, all those sadistic bullshits. His group members don't help the situation either.
So much for "ice-breaking' session. He cannot get himself to open up like he should. This is torturous.
And no, he is not the one at fault about not being able to enjoy himself. He did try, but how the hell should he react when the first thing they told him was the fact that they read his book? Everything about him, about his lifestyle, they already know. How the hell should he act normal and try to make friends with them like nothing happened? Every time they asked question and he answered, they will remind him that they read about it somewhere before, or heard about it from someone.
Well then, should he just pretend that that didn't bother him? Because he did. And it got too much and too boring after a while. Besides, none of them are the same major as him anyways. In a week time, he won't even interact with them so really, this "ice-breaking' session is just a waste of time.
Their naiveté and over-excitement irk him too.
How he wishes this torture will end soon. He just wants to start learning about famous writers and poems, which is basically why he applied to a university in the first place. Not to socialize.
But…. He promised to try and have fun. His therapist told him he should try to make friends and indulge himself in the innocence of these people to regain what he lost during childhood. He already promised her he would.
But it is hard. Really, really hard.
"Leaders of each group, come and get your first clues." Haneul stands up as instructed and take a piece of paper from the ballot.
Great. More running.
Heading back towards his jumpy teammates who are eager to start the race, he gives them the piece of paper and all six of them get excited. As soon as the whistle blew, everyone dash outside, along with Haneul who wishes his body will cooperate with his brain and just drop dead to the ground so he can pretend to be hurt and sleep in his room.
This race better be worth his sweat.