I lay on my bed blankly staring up at the ceiling going over that perfect night two weeks ago, trying to figure out what I did wrong. He seemed fine the next morning.
My wolf whines at me to go to my mate. He wants to comfort him, but he can't understand why Nai won't let us. Neither could I.
When he refused to see me that night, my heart broke. I tried to beg his mum to tell me what she knew but she refused, saying it was between Nai and me. She had told me to give him time, I didn't want to, but I had no choice.
Nai didn't come to school for two days and I broke even more. My father told me to stay home, he wasn't sure I would be able to control myself.
I roll over and bury my face in my pillows, as my mind goes over that morning.
(Flashback)
I'm on cloud nine as I shower quickly, wanting to get back to Nai as soon as I can. However, when I come out of the shower Nai isn't there.
"Nai!" I call out, going downstairs, expecting him to be in the kitchen. He isn't there either.
"Pup!" I call again and again no reply.
A sudden thought has me rushing upstairs, I can't see his bag. It's gone! So are the clothes I had removed last night.
Outside I sniff around, I catch his scent. It leads down the path. My father calls as I race down.
"Dad!" I speak in a panicked voice. I can feel Nai's pain and I'm scared he is hurt.
"What's wrong Asher? What happened?" he asks me.
I tell him about Nai disappearing and he tells me he will drive up to us. I want him in his wolf form, I want to be in wolf form myself so we could track better but I'm worried Nai would freak out if he saw us.
I'm nearing the end of the dirt road when my dad calls me again.
"Dad! Have you found him?" I ask, but dad doesn't answer me.
"Nai, are you ok?" I hear him say.
At first, I'm confused until I hear Nai's voice.
"I'm fine," he says but his voice, something in it, has me frozen. The pain I can hear in it is crippling.
I am vaguely aware of Nai asking Dad to take him home, I'm feeling confused and hurt.
'He left! He doesn't want to come back!' I think to myself which has my wolf howling in pain.
'Why did he run away from us? What did we do wrong?' He kept asking. I wish I had the answers.
He sounded so cold when Dad said my name. I can hear the small cries that I imagine he is trying to stop from falling. I race back to the house and climb into the car.
I race to his house, not caring that I'm speeding. I bang on his door and ring the bell for ages. He ignores me when I try calling him and texting him. I'm still there when his mum comes home.
I explained Nai had left and I didn't know why.
She tells me to wait outside and it almost kills me. I want to force my way in, demand he tells me what I did wrong and then kiss him until he agrees to never leave me again.
I never hated his deafness before, but right then I did. I know they were talking but in sign language. I have no way of knowing what he is saying and it is destroying me.
When she eventually comes down alone my heart sinks. She smiles at me sweetly and places a hand on my arm.
"Give him time," she tells me.
"Time? I don't even know why he left, what did I do wrong?" I beg her. "Let me see him, please."
She shakes her head, still smiling at me.
"I don't know what's happened either, but he needs time. If you love him then give him time," she said before shutting the door, shutting me out, shutting me away from my mate.
I drive home and instantly race outside and shift. I push my wolf to his limits until he collapses from exhaustion. He pants, his breath ragged as my heart screams in pain.
My father finds me a few hours later and takes me home.
After Nai doesn't come to school Dad forces me to stay home, I understand why but I want to see him.
I've been in bed for days, hugging the pillows pretending it's Nai, pathetic I know. I can still feel the warmth of his body, smell the scent of his skin, and hear the sound of his moans.
I long to feel him underneath me again.
I don't even move or respond when someone knocks on my door, or when they sigh or even when they sit next to me on the bed. It isn't until I feel a soft hand on my arm that has me turning.
'Mum!' I think beyond surprise. This is the first time in weeks she has even looked at me.
"Mum!" I gasp.
"My son," she says with a small smile pulling me up and hugging me. I, finally, allow the tears to fall, the ones I have kept at bay, she grips me tighter.
"I need him, mum! I need him so bad but he won't talk to me. I don't know why, I don't know what I did wrong," I mumble into her neck.
She strokes my back saying soothing words. I have no idea what she is saying, it does little to ease my pain.
She pulls me back and wipes the tears from my face, staring into my eyes.
"You really love him, don't you?" she asks with a small smile.
Taking a deep breath, I nod.
"He's not just my mate mum, he's my fated mate"
It's her time to gasp now.
"What? How do you know?" she asks me, gripping my arms.
"When we slept together, I knotted him. It was just like Dad described when he knotted you but so much more. I felt so connected to him, I knew what he was feeling at that moment. It was perfect," I tell her, fresh tears filling my eyes.
"But then the next day, I went for a run and when I came back he seemed ok. When I went for a shower he was gone. I can feel his pain but I don't know why he's in pain. Mum it hurts, he won't let me help him," I whimper. She strokes my cheek and gives me a kiss.
(End of Flashback)
She left not long after that, I roll back over intent on curling up again.
I don't know if half an hour has passed or three hours. Mum comes back and practically drags me out of bed.
I try to resist, but she is surprisingly strong. She drags me to the kitchen and the sight I want to see the most is waiting for me.
"Nai!"
He stood up, biting his lip. I took a step towards him but he steps back.
My steps stop, I want to run to him, to hold him, but he looks so hurt. Mum touches my arm as she tells Nai to sit down, before telling me to as well. She takes a seat and to my annoyance so does Luke.
"So, this is Nai," he smiles.
'Hi, my name's Luke. I'm Asher's brother,' he signs to him. Nai's eyes widen, we are all just as equally surprised. It's a little broken but he is better than me. We stare at him in shock, Nai smiles. It excites me to see him smile but hurts to know it isn't aimed at me.
"You know ASL," he asks. Luke nods puffing out his chest.
"Yeah, I decided to learn when I heard about you. I wanted to be able to speak to you," he explains with a shrug. I beam in love and pride at him, he wants to be able to communicate with my mate, his future luna.
Nai nods smiling, Mum pulls his attention back to her.
"Nai, ask Asher anything you want to know. He will tell you everything," she says looking at me.
I nod understanding what that meant. I'm instantly nervous, what if he hates me?
Nai looks just as nervous as I am, so I look at Mum pleading with her. Thankfully, she gets the hint and pulls Luke's arm. He reluctantly leaves, mum leaves no room for arguments.
"Nai, please talk to me. What did I do wrong?" I ask, pain filling my voice. Nai looks down at his hands, nervously fidgeting.
"You were gone, I couldn't find you. When I finally saw you, you were walking out of the forest naked. I thought maybe you had gone for a run or something, but who runs naked in the forest. There was only one reason I could think of ...…. You ….. You were with….. someone else. I wasn't enough … I didn't … " he speaks and stutters in a low voice, I can barely catch what he says.
I want to facepalm myself, I'm so stupid. Of course, he's going to think something like that.
"Oh Pup!," I sigh, standing and pulling him into a hug. He resists a little at first, but then he cries into my chest. His hands hover around my waist then drop to his sides.
I pull him a little tighter into my body not wanting to let go, letting him cry it all out. With tear-stained and puffy red eyes he pulls back and lifts his head slightly. I place two fingers under his chin so I can see his eyes. I kiss him gently before I pour my heart out. I need to tell him how I felt before showing him.
"Nai, I meant it when I said I love you. That night was perfect, you were perfect. Nothing in my life will compare to that night. There's no way I would ever cheat on you." With my eyes, I plead with him to believe me.
He pulls out of my grasp completely, my wolf howls, and wipes his face.
"Why were you naked in the forest then?" He asks, I can tell he is trying to understand.
I grip his hand and lead him downstairs and outside. The clearing that acted as our backyard is empty.
Dad must have told them all to leave. I will have to remember to thank him for that.
Nai is looking at me confused, I take a deep breath, it is now or never.
"Asher what's going on?" he asks me.
"It's better to show you than tell you why I was naked in the forest. Can you promise me to keep an open mind and to remember that I love you and I would never hurt you," I beg, he still looks confused but nods.
Taking a deep breath, I start to strip. Nai's eyes widen and he blushes. I might have smirked and joked with him if I wasn't shaking in fear.
"What are you doing?" he sounds both scared and turned on. I stop, grip his shoulders and stare deep into his eyes.
"I have to take my clothes off to show you, ok? You will understand in a minute," I explain before stepping back and continuing to strip. "Stay back, I don't want to hurt you," he takes a few steps back.
Once I'm done stripping, I urge my wolf to appear. He is reluctant, naturally, he doesn't want to scare his mate.
I feel my muscles grow and my bones shift. The feeling is as natural as breathing for me now. I can feel the exact moment he takes over, and soon two legs turn into four.
The whole process only takes a few seconds but it feels even longer in that moment. Once it's over, I look at Nai, my heart hammering.