Hundreds of images flashed through her mind, of the Blessed Heights, of a disgusting smile that meant nothing but pain, of the look of surprise on the face of the one she was coming to love, and of the heartbreak of shattered dreams.
Most of those images she sent to her 'Splintered Mind' to be ignored once more, but looking in those gray eyes and that gaunt face that somehow still carried a strength she couldn't fathom, she felt emotions rising from where she'd buried them long ago.
Instead of burying those emotions once more, for the first time in years, Feerestia chose to feel. She allowed her 'Splintered Mind' to relax its hold for just a moment. Hope, joy, satisfaction, and fear that this was all a dream radiated through her body and her hollow heart.
Feerestia had always wanted to follow in her mother's footsteps and be a Spring Druid of the City of Endless Spring. That dream didn't work out, however, as she had no talent in Earth Magic, making Nature Magic beyond her as well. Her hopes of being a Spring Druid vanished, and with them the love and support of her mother. The young elven girl was nine when she learned her mother never wanted a daughter, only a disciple. And since Feerestia could never be that disciple she was discarded, like a stunted plant that could never bloom.
It was hard for her not to be angry with Pillania, the woman she'd once called 'Mother', and blame her for the direction her life had taken. So, she buried those thoughts, memories, and emotions in her 'Splintered Mind' until now, when Tars gave her a chance to learn Earth, and later Nature Magics. It was too late to become a Spring Druid, her Blade Dancer class was a vastly different style of class, and she no longer lived in the City of Endless Spring.
That mattered little in Feerestia's eyes. She was eager to remove decades worth of anger and frustration by finally having access to Earth Magic and no longer be 'Rootless'. She would have the ability to work with the elements she'd always wanted! Was that desire so strong because it was something that was always denied to her? Feerestia didn't know and now it no longer mattered!
To feel the land speak to her, to feel nature's energy flow through her, to be able to encourage the most beautiful plants into blossoming, to feel Rennatii's energy in the world around her! It was what she'd dreamed of so many nights before, and now it was given to her. By Tars.
Tars offered her hope, and her 'Splintered Mind' couldn't keep the tears from filling her eyes despite how much she tried to blink them away.
It took her more time than she expected to get herself back under control. Once she did, she merely thanked him and mentioned the evenings training. She didn't trust her voice to stay steady for anything else.
Once she left the shed Ponter guided her back to the pair of tents he'd gotten them, but her minds were still in turmoil. Seeing him glancing at her with worry, she closed her emotions down and, faster than would be possible for most, she got her minds back under control.
Now that she could think more easily she found herself with an undeniable desire to train! To grow as she'd never wanted before!
'Tonight', she told herself, 'after we finish traveling I will find Tars and begin teaching him Water and Wind Magic, whether he wants to learn or not!'
She would be the teacher he needed her to be, and when the day came that she learned Earth Elemental Proficiency she would dedicate her life to him. She paused at that thought. She would need to complete her Oath before she could truly do that. She also wasn't entirely sure Tars would want that dedication. It didn't matter. She would think on it and find the patch of soil on which to grow.
When they reached their small camp that was a little ways from any others, Ponter looked at her carefully, his eyes holding a softness he seemed to show no one else. It wasn't what some people thought. They believed he wanted her for her body, or as a servant, or for some human habit of spreading envy.
No, Ponter shared the guilt and self-loathing that she herself held. He saw her as the daughter he had failed. She didn't know how he'd failed that daughter, he wouldn't say and Feerestia wouldn't pry, but his hatred of bandits and the insanity in his eyes when he destroyed those Red Heel fools in a burst of chemical flames meant bandits of some type were to blame.
He helped her and now Tars did as well, even if Tars was helping himself as well. She would find a way to help Ponter, maybe give him hope as it was given to her.
She answered his unspoken question. "He gave me a Personal Quest, to continue teaching him and to improve myself. In return I'll get a few things, the one that made me react like that was the ability to learn Earth Magic."
"Oh. That's nice," Ponter said, clearly not understanding why it was so important.
"I always wanted to learn Nature Magic, which requires Earth and Water Magic Proficiencies," she explained. "They called me 'rootless'. I could not learn Earth Magic, the mana just flowed through me, I could never grasp it."
Ponter frowned at the obvious insult being 'rootless' was. Feerestia couldn't feel the small joy her other mind felt when he showed his protectiveness of her, but she could still appreciate it.
"Tars is special," Feerestia said, letting nothing through her frozen mask. "Whatever he did gave me the ability to learn Earth Magic. It should be impossible, but, for some reason, I believe him."
Ponter huffed in annoyance and pretended to doubt, but she could see he believed it too, he just wouldn't admit it. 'Foolish human pride!' she thought, comparing it to her own elven pride. She refused to admit that the two weren't very different.
Several hours later, Feerestia and Ponter walked alongside a wagon containing Miussa's tailoring supplies. When the elf had learned that Tars would be training Life Magic here in the afternoon, she suggested to Ponter that they should guard this portion of the caravan. The anxiety she felt while waiting for nightfall was pushed to her other mind as she walked along, leaving her feeling nothing. She merely planned her own training regimen and that for teaching Tars.
The slow pace would frustrate most adventurers, but Feerestia didn't feel that either. Still, the minor amounts of annoyance that creeped passed were almost unnoticeable when compared to the pain and humiliation she'd had to withstand in the hands of those disgusting bandits. Just the thought of what she'd endured caused ripples in the second mind that were momentarily felt in the first.
The second mind hurried to bury those memories again, allowing her first mind to continue focusing instead on what it would mean to have Earth Magic.
Feerestia didn't notice the tears slowly trickling down her cheeks, the pain in her second mind seeping through to her physical body. The first mind, however, was lost in the thoughts of what the future might bring. That future began with Tars' training.
Once she'd decided her plan, it was time to improve her own skills. She needed to raise her Wind, Water, and Ice Magicks by one level each. Wind seemed the most appropriate for practice while traveling. Perhaps it was finally time to work on the group version of 'Lightened Steps'.
-Lightened Steps- An active spell designed for faster movement. Increases the speed of your steps and reduces the stamina drain of running. The higher the skill level the more the speed is increased.
-Domains- Wind, Travel.
Casting the spell, Feerestia felt the wind mana flow through her, rising from the middle of her body and moving up to her arms. Wind mana felt cool and hard to contain. It wanted to move and only needed a direction. By holding a few pips of wind mana and leading them up through her arms, other pips of mana would follow.
Once she had enough mana she shaped it with her fingers and gave direction with her words until there was a burst of energy a few shades lighter than fresh grown grass. As 'Lightened Steps' settled on her, Feerestia felt her legs become stronger and her body become lighter. In truth, her body was simply surrounded by wind mana that constantly pushed her upwards just enough to make her feel light.
She used her 'Mana Perception' to follow the energy of the spell, trying to trace its patterns. For the next half an hour Feerestia walked alongside the wagon while those nearby watched her casting 'Lightened Steps' over and over, with a few minutes between each casting. She made small adjustments with each cast, gradually getting closer and closer to the skill the system used.
For most people, learning a spell meant getting close enough to the right pattern and then the system acknowledging it, granting the skill. From that point on, they would simply use the system to cast the spell, no longer putting in the effort to understand exactly what it is doing.
For those who wished to advance, especially in spell casting, relying on the system is a short road that would deny their future growth. Progress halts and advancements come only with luck. As a trainer with the Adventurer's Guild, she encouraged people to learn the spells and skills they used without the system. In that way they can learn subtle parts of a spell in order to change it or add it in to a spell that normally doesn't have that affect.
A common example of this is changing the shape of a spell. Turning a simple ray of flame into a cone like a dragon would breathe. Or chunk of rock into an 'Earth Spike'.
For Feerestia, she was attempting to determine where in the spell it focuses on a target and how it balances weight. If she could get the pattern correct, she could allow her spell to affect multiple people with the spell adjusting the amount of lift for each person.
Feerestia repeated her spell, this time trying to expand it to include the reluctant Ponter. The wind mana flowed as she wished and the words guided them to mostly do as she willed. She hoped it was close enough for the system to teach her the skill.
Unfortunately, learning new skills, especially without a teacher experienced in what one wished to learn, was not an easy task. As such she failed, making the movement boost uneven on his body, lifting too much on one side and not enough on the other. It also didn't last long, which was good because it was awkward, but bad because she wasn't trying to adjust the duration.
She resumed her single target 'Lightened Steps' and tried to see what was different. She also cast it on Ponter as an apology.
That was when there was a commotion at the front of the group. The caravan kept moving and aside from a bunch of curious villagers trying to find out what was happening, nothing seemed to change. Ponter and Feerestia increased their wariness, but didn't move from their position in the line of wagons.
About a half an hour later Miussa was called to speak to her Chief. 'Well, my Chief also, now' she admitted, still not used to being a part of a group willingly again. It was nice, but it would take getting used to.
Ponter took over driving the wagon until she returned some fifteen minutes later, or so. Miussa seemed lost in thought as she made her way back to the wagon. Feerestia wondered if Tars had something to do with it, he seemed to scramble her brain with his actions and she'd only known him for a single day!
Feerestia left Miussa to her thoughts and returned to her practice. It had been a long time since she'd pushed herself in her training. Making herself a better slave was stupid, and she had lacked much motivation before that, simply enjoying her friends in the Adventurer's Guild.
Now though, she had a goal, and one she could actually reach. With a new burst of focus, the elf resumed her spell work.
-You have learned a tier 3 skill, 50 exp awarded!-
-Your Magic stat has improved by 1!-
Finally, her efforts were rewarded and her, Ponter, the oxen that were pulling Miussa's wagon, and Miussa herself were given her new movement speed boost.
A smile was barely noticeable as her other mind let it's elation flood through.
-Winds of the North- An active skill for increasing the movement speed and reducing the stamina consumption of a group of creatures. The higher the skill level, the more speed is increased.
-Domains- Wind, Travel, War.
Feerestia wasn't surprised that her Wind Magic Proficiency hadn't increased, as the Proficiencies were some of the most difficult skills to advance. But they also brought some of the largest improvements in skills and spells, making them worth the effort.
Feerestia could have trained more, but she decided to rest a bit and recover some mana.
"Excuse me, Miss Miussa?" Feerestia asked the Tailor.
"Yes, dear?" the woman asked. Feerestia had long grown used to humans not being able to read elven ages, so she wasn't offended, even though she had seen nearly eighty summers, probably twice the age of the Tailor.
"Would I be able to do some 'Meditation' on your wagon? I can't move while I recover mana, yet." Feerestia wasn't ashamed of this, many humans never learned this skill at all, and far fewer had the 'Peace of Mind' upgraded version of 'Meditation'.
"Of course! I wouldn't mind, besides those poor beasts are probably happy you helped!"
Feerestia wasn't sure those oxen even noticed the 'Winds of the North', but she didn't argue and bounced up into the wagon.
Feerestia got comfortable on the seat beside Miussa and began using 'Meditation'. She pulled a large amount of the mana she had remaining to the center of her being and then circulated it, creating a whirlpool of pips. Soon the free-floating pips outside of her body began to slowly be drawn towards her and soaked into her skin.
Her mana regenerated at twice her normal rate as she continued to use 'Meditation', but in the spirit of training she also tried to use 'Mana Control' on the maelstrom created within her, independent of the system.
An hour later she thanked Miussa and hopped back down where she repeated her 'Winds of the North' spell on her little group and several others around her.
It only took one more 'Meditation' cycle before she felt a quest update pulsing through her.
Sure enough, her Wind Magic Proficiency was now at Initiate 4/10. Time to start on her Water Magic Proficiency!