Am I antisocial? My friends loves to say that all the time, everytime. Some what may, guessed I am probably a man with certain convictions against humanity. Female species are for me just another form of human with different organs as my friends thought of me.
I didn't know that I was so popular in those days of my high school years.
After graduation, I have just get involved with my work, career was the crucial part of my insolvent life, I studied hard for these kind of lifestyles.
Work, career, every day household expenses then back to sleep for rest with my everyday dissatisfied dreams for gaining more became everyday life of my.
I was so devastated with my everyday disappointments that I have to take a vacation for few days without saying anyone anything, even I have power off my mobile so no one could've known where I have been to or else I can't enjoy my private peace of mind.
I have arranged my peace in a monastery temple that once my friend suggested me to visit if I ever need to summon my ancestors who was monk like me.
That monk is his relative who stayed unmarried by his own will though it's not necessary if they don't want to. For a peace from outside the society, he gifted himself to God and stayed single only for him.
I found that thought very self centred and self plagiarism in this modern time.
Well, I respect his way of living. He finished his academic graduation then joined in monastery.
He lived by himself alone there with his few disciples. Small but very sacred, no one care to disturb his peace of livings. He has his own school there to educate poor kids and adults to train the way of living as a monk.
It's upto them if they accept their life as a monk and dedicates themselves to their God.
I don't know if I can be a good companion for him or not but I am looking for an isolation from my close ones.
I need to deserve that kind of serenity after a long working life.
It is really a remarkable place, hidden behind a natural man made waterfall which is a reserved area of the government property.
It is a small park for a walk that has a beautiful pond with waterlilies and a strong, small wood carved bridge over it, to enjoy the views of the waterfall with it.
The waterfall was created by human, they engraved the water ways from the nearby river through the forest to stream over the pond.
As a result of that creative beauty, the forest gets the nourishment from that stream water which is curved. It's a simple preventive idea to make the forest more beautiful than it was ever before.
That forest was not originally that much beautiful. The government made it by helping it with various kinds of wild flowers, fruits and perfumed woods plants which was implanted by their own people.
Only authorized people like me get the permission to live in that monastery. My friend is a government consultant and his monk too. That's why, they could kept it sacred from the public intervention.
The way to the monastery is very vague to be seen by a public. The rocky stone mountain under the waterfall is made out to make a cave which is a pathway to that small monastery.
I have to cross the bridge then need to pass the tea garden which is for having light snacks and drinks in open place at any time during the park is open then have to show my permit to the guard of the gate to the monastery which is standing infront the tea garden gate that leads to the water fall entrance.
The gate is not just another ordinary way, it's inguinuinly placed on the wooden cottage which only can be used by the monk and his pupils or any higher positioned government officials if they like.
The veranda of the cottage can also be seen from the bridge and the walking way of the park. The park is not that enormous but it's bigger enough.
Flowers and plants hanging from the ceiling of that veranda.
I have already crossed the guards and get into the cottage area. In the entrance of the cottage there is a small space with stone made fountain at the corner and on the other side there is a long stone bench with table.
The sound of the fountain water, the green trimmed grass of the stone footpath, the surrounding of the red dark brown stoned walls which is covered with wall flower trees and a small open sky, is looking too lavishly gorgeous to me.
There is a few stepping stone stairs upfront of the entrance of the cottage.
The architect of the place made the foundation of the cottage with cemented stones to make it strong, unbreakable and immovable then the wooden cottage.
That staircase leads directly to the veranda and the front door of the cottage.
The veranda actually surrounding the whole cottage which is really, I think a beautiful idea. The veranda also has iron benches for enjoying the serenity of the beautiful nature, they have created here.
A little practice of creating heaven by themselves for their own.
I do wonder, is there any kind of barrier to stop the river water flow or else it can be flooded during the rainy season. I ask my guide, he says, yes there is a strong cap on the big pipe over the intersection between river water and the forest, to pass the water stream through the forest which allows the running water to the pond. It's only opened when people is visiting the site.
It seemed epic creation to enjoy oneself the beauty of nature by arranging themselves.
Who could have thought of behind the whole natural beauty there is a few capable hands to create for them. Especially, in the city like this.
He also says that the cottage and monastery has their own solar powered electricity system and water filtration system for usage for that they don't need to use any source from outside the park.
This park is not for free, they have to get the membership card to enjoy the serenity of this sacred beauty.
I am trying to grasp as much beauty in myself on way to monastery. The cottage is comfy as it seems. I have no idea where they are going to keep me, cottage or monastery.
The water from the nearby river is very clean, the stone pathways carrying the water without any dust, probably it's working like a natural filtration process.
When my guide took me to the waterfall then I saw the stone staircase beautifully hidden between the bushes, flowers.
The sounds of water continuously making tributes to nature. The waterfall is working like a natural curtain for the monastery entrance.
The stone staircase and the monastery entrance gate are in same colour, reddish green, can not be seen in the naked eyes that easily.
At day time if the park is open, no one normally use this gate, it suppose to be used only at night time.
The day time they all stay busy in their monastery. It's a small arrangement for their own simpleton of life.
It took few minutes to pass the stone cave pathway to the open horizon of monastery.
The L-shaped pathway can make such a remarkable discovery to a beautiful place like this, who could've imagined.
The forest of the park could be the great diversion that anyone couldn't ever guessed of.
The open vacant sky, the clouds over the head, the drizzled of water from up above the sky giving me a chilling thrill that welcoming me to be the part of their sacred life.
I was not that into or out of from the feminine grasps in my share of life but they makes me distracted from my main core of my work.
I don't know, probably I didn't realised that there is a hidden spiritual monk within me. Self satisfaction occurs into me for my own controlled contribution to realms.
I loved the whole atmosphere at my very first glance. It is my own willful privilege and my dear old friend's generosity that I could enjoy this serenity.
The monastery is right infront of me, laying between all sorts of trees, bushes and wildflowers. It has it's own streaming water path.
The water crossing just over the bestowed stones that showing us the way to monastery.
It's seeming to be another man made river channel that passing by the monastery entrance then back again to the river where it belongs. The segregation of river water in such a way, I have never noticed it before.
Oddly it might've been but in the city when I was visiting various places, I never thought of those waters from where it came from.
Now to think of it. The whole city is using the river water for their own benefits from part of their luxury.
The water of the monastery entrance coming from behind those heavy bushes of one side and leaving to the bushes of another side. Just passing by the monastery entrance as they designed. The monastery is surrounded by heavy mountain walls, trees, bushes and wildflowers.
Furthermore, it is quite impossible for me to make myself understand completely but it's beautiful and silent.
A man with sharp face features and circular eye glass coming to my way to greet me. I can see his shining and at some point glowing eye glass in that gloomy weather. He is very humble and human friendly. And he is indeed very glad to see me as I understood from his smiling face.
Resembling like a greek God gifted with wisdom and poise but he is a monk. I never could've thought a man like him transformed as an apostle of Buddhism in a monastery of the forest, living behind all the goodness of the earthly world and only thinking of their way of life.
Very charming man and physically strong. He take me from my guide and showing me the way to monastery.
Seo Joon, an educated monk, studying the ancient history of the core buddhism. He took his oath just after his master's.
Anyone probably mistaken it as a way to survive the audacity of life but in his case it's his own goodwill.
Being the brilliant achiever of multiple awards didn't make him more to himself. He got interested in this life out of a sudden.
It is even surprising for himself. He was interested at first during a thesis he came across on buddhism. It was written by a student. It made him curious to the buddha then to the buddhism.
That student called it's a way of forgetting oneself.
At first, he thought it can be a mere information about the whole subject but he wrote it about the depth of wisdom in it. Without being a monk himself, he showed a passion and respect towards the whole spiritualism of buddha. It made him very much oculus than to be more profound.
From that curiosity to know more to this. It's completely from his own share of wisdom. He has no one left to care for. In that way it made him more easier to take this path. He said that to me, in his very unusually lower depressing, calm and cold voice. His eyes is covered with eye glass, head is in downward position, hands are holding each other like it's not going to let go.
It's probably me that who is trying to find something behind his isolated life. Man like him in this place, left alone with nature making me somehow redundant.
He showed me my bedroom, it's very modernized. A small balcony working as a window for a view from the bedroom. I can see their garden from my window, it's remarkable. A garden with fountain.
They didn't kept any internet connection but in the park they kept it. If I like to use it to connect with my outside world, I can do it from there.
They kept their laptops in the cottage of the park but not in the monastery, they didn't kept such accessibility in here.
The rest room that they have given, has an attached bath for my own necessities. My monk has it too but others need to use their common balneary which is known as a wash room and dormitory bedrooms.
He took the liberty to show me around the monastery.
They have common prayer room, an attached cloister is an open balcony with garden view where water streams flowing on the side of the garden, a moderate size library, a natural steam bath, a common room to hang around where they can read a book or play any sort of indoor games to take their leisure time after the hard work of the day's.
They also have their own refectory to dine together, infirmary to get their necessary health care.
All monks has their own duties during the day time and night besides practicing buddhism.
They all have to do their own work, cooking, cleaning, agricultural activities, health care, teaching, practicing yoga and praying.
They don't have any options without doing their own daily duties.
Me and Joon, get back to each other work. He went back to his disciples and me to my room.
It's a beautiful room with a view. The monastery, I dreamed of, is not this kind of beauty at all.
I have noticed they love the colour red and golden. Everything, in here has a touch of red and gold. Bringing back to life.
I took more than an hour to make myself available for them.
I have noticed that everyone get back to their dorm. Only me and Joon now.
Although, they have their own solar powered electrical system, we are having our candle light dinner.
He is feeling shy infront of me, as humble as he can be, in his apologetic voice, he offered me his monastery food.
It turns out good healthy food platter, vegetable clear soup, kind of consomme, filled with beautiful aroma, baked chickpeas salad with lemon, tomatoes, boiled potatoes full of nutrition, gravy and creamy peanut stew, fried chicken fillets and white pearl like rice.
Monks are allowed to drink wine and bread but they eat rice too. Good for me.
I couldn't hold my inner beast to control his appetite. I ate with thankful gratification.
During our dinner, we talked very less. Both were very hungry for the hardwork of the day.
We ate together, washed our dishes together then went back to our garden view outside terrace of the monastery.
And took wine with us as a drink. Hermit or monk as people know, they are living in more modernized way in reality. It's a once upon a time kind of information as I am experiencing.
Among other discussions, I get curious about his interest on buddhism, which was out of a sudden as I have heard from my friend.
Joon was a sort of man, who loved to achieve everything that his heart desires then why, became a Buddhist during his progression of life. He is from a wealthy family and still can go back to his life.
His parents longing for his return. Even they have no clue why he made himself like that.
I ask him, why did you choose this way of life when life is offering you generously, if you like to share please care to say something. The reason of this isolation.
He get very dense, calm and sad.
I didn't expect his sadness.
The night seems younger than old log like us. It's a beautiful night, after the sizzling rains the moon looks like a bright white in the dark blue sky, soft airy weather touching our skins in every few seconds.
It's simply gorgeous night to mesmerize and woe to our arrogant pleasure of playing with old memories to kill the time is not such a bad idea for me.
His deep sobbing silence make me to take a glance at him.
I ask him, are you feeling uncomfortable for asking you about your personal thoughts on isolationism of yourself from your ancestors blessings or I may say deciding to stay unmarried.
I usually can't imagine of being alone to maintain a healthy life. It's not a question of why anyone stay detached from the society but it's a question of why such a complete isolation from human man kind.
No one is forcing you to share your opinion about it but don't you think you are unjust to yourself. You are not giving any chance to your life to be more than just what you are.
If I were you, I probably took such a job that runs me to the end of earth.
My curiosity began from that moment when you have had to decide to becoming a man of God. What clicks that very thought to make such a decision alone.
I haven't seen any ugliest person to stay without any lover or spouses and you are, well, smiling to myself, not that bad (actually very handsome).
Then after a hearing my side of inquisition with his utmost respect and patience, he decided to break the long pause.
He smiled me back with such an innocence that I really became more curious.
He says, I was probably born monk from my childhood then started to smile silently. I never felt anything for any female friends of mine nor to strangers.
I know it's not what anyone expected from me but that was who I am.
I ask him, is there no one that who could have waited for you or madly in love with you, who could have followed you to this monastery.
He then get sad again and starts his tale of woes.
He is saying, yes, there was, actually, few women in my life whose blessings probably made me end up to such a good way of life.
Joon the monk, is saying, I was in a high schooler then,every morning she came up with a rose to give me, freshly plucked only for me from her garden, made my days as good then scorching sun above my head.
Nearly every day, whenever she missed to give her blessed flower, it seemed that day is going to be the bad day for me.
I got used to getting flower from her every day then my high school ended and I moved on.
Then? I showed my curiosity.
With a sigh, he is saying, then she got married.
Married? But why so early? Just a high schooler?
He says with his glittery eyes in the dark, she probably knew that I was not into her but at her marriage night, her husband found her dead in slow poisoning that took hours days to kill her. That kind of a poison, people could not understand but it's deadly enough to kill oneself, it seemed normal heart failure or strokes but it's a slow poisoning.
Everyday small portion of consumption of such medicines can kill anyone.
No one could have known but her husband was a doctor fortunately. He understood right away. It was a herbal medicine. Her father was even stunned by her suicide. It was quite unexpected.
She never shared her feelings with anyone but she was in love with someone me or someone else.
I claimed that it was not someone inhuman like him probably she was in love with someone more man than himself but because of her calm and shy nature, she could not said it on time.
He then says, probably, then again dived to his history.
I was pushing him to say about rest of his followers.
He says, I was freshly admitted in my university when I met her, everyone was madly in love with her but for some reason she loved me. She loved me a lot but it was impossible for me as a student of her.
Wait a minute, is she, was your teacher?
He is shyly smiling then slowly nods to me.
Again continued his tale, she was a very gorgeous woman, no one needed to know her, just for a moment with her could make anyone fall deeply in love with her.
Many students tried to suicide for her ,gave her threatening letters of killing themselves or kidnapping her but she just stayed in love with me.
She personally visited every those students who had lost their sanity and made their parents feel comfortable about her.
She sent every those psychological disordered students as she said to me, to another country or to another city and some she gave marriages buy still she was, I still don't know why was she in love with me.
She loved me till she died in leukaemia that she never cared to share with.
Then right after my graduation, in my idle spare time, I was looking for something that I could learn and earn from when I met her.
She was a lone traveller. She traveled around from place to place, make her documentary and upload her videos in her website.
She loved her job very much, all the expenses carried out by her company. She was a remarkable speaker and a wonderful woman.
Her parents really love her that's why she always get back to her home or else probably wondering around to never get back.
I was the luckiest guy who got chosen to be her first handyman to hangout with her camera.
I was chosen by her company employer who find out about me from their job seekers archive.
I was fresh wild flower plucked from the garden who was ready to be bloomed when this happened with me.
I couldn't thanked enough to my fate for the generosity and kindness but I have learned enough that time.
From my adventurous heart that couldn't be hold in my four walls room ran out from there whenever they had called me to join with them.
After I had joined her, we went to the village where we heard certain kind of curse taking them out to the grave.
As we were not a superstitious person, we got paid to get there to make our special feature about the whole situation.
We got there at half past midnight, fully exhausted and tired after a long hours journey by car and our feet.
We couldn't even get the chance to rest when we needed to attend a ceremonial event of those villages.
Both of us were very tired, I didn't know about her but I was feeling very drowsy and sleepy.
When and where I got swept away from the event and slept, I had no clue still now.
Moreover, I couldn't remember what happened that night but I found myself with my camera alone laid back in the same van that we got there and she wasn't with me.
Later on, I had to get back to our rental home where our benefactor, I mean, our employer's made a reservation and an arrangement for us to stay with one of the local family.
They thought it might help us to do our job.
I couldn't think of finding her there, so I had to do that without her, it seemed appropriate for me.
As soon as get back there, I informed my keeper of losing her. They sent their people to find her.
Thre was no mobile or internet network available that I could inform them earlier nor we had our own vehicle or rented then.
Our rental car should have come that morning.
The schedule was, after our participation in the event, where we could get acquainted with those villagers of the cursed village for our research.
And afterwards, we had to get back to our rental place to spend the night. The next day as they scheduled for us, our rental car would pickup to take us to that cursed village but...because of losing her, our schedule had to be delayed.
Those people searched for her the whole day but no signs of her.
They even asked those villagers but they could not help either but they said one thing which was unexpected. She met a guy there in the end of the party when I was missing.
I step out to stop Joon there for a moment from his journey to the past.
I was curious to understand what happened to him that night? She was missing that might have a good reason but why he was passed out?
I cared to show my suspicion to him consequently as he says I was too tired back then and the villagers gave us a drink for the relaxation of that night for a good sleep.
I guess they didn't expected that I was going to fall a sleep that early when only the night began.
That day we had no news of her to share with our head office.
I was too young to understand what should I do next, perhaps, because I waited for her in my place for few days.
As a result of waiting, I took the initial step, took the liberty to talk with the villagers on my own.
I was there on the first place to investigate with or without her, to make special features on the whole rumours of cursive villagers but not the village.
Village was full with resources, opportunities and rich in it's own way.
The only problem was with the villagers, they are not surviving till they get older.
Furthermore to my investigation, I was feeling worried about my partner, lost with a guy in a stormy weather who was unknown to everyone.
I was very disappointed and saddened by the thought of featuring the whole document without her.
So many people died after my arrival, infront of me, the guy I talked yesterday, founded dead the next day, not even taking a week.
No signs of illness, just dying during their sleep.
Their dead body seemed fluffed, the cause of death was unknown, it can be arranged only after we finished our featured documentary.
It needed to be broadcast to seek help from any private organisation or government. Our company just couldn't do it on hoaxes without any authorization.
It was really getting harder to feature, bad weather, my boss was still missing, on the other hand, I was a newbie in this job.
When I was losing my grips on the whole matter then she showed up, my boss, Samantha gendi with her best friend Joshua Sergi.
As far as their side of story was, he came here it's been almost a month.
He came here out of curiosity, he was informed by locals, our keeper was his friend and the informer.
Joshua Sergi is a chemist in profession, moreover, part time lecturer of microbiology, physiology and chemical engineering.
When I knew about his background list of subjects, I died there instantly.
Joshua, sent his regards to Samantha to came here for featuring the whole thing to gather the necessary aids for this poor people.
A small village like that, standing at one corner of the map needed to be focused by them as Joshua Sergi thought.
He found out that the water and the soil of that particular land was getting contaminated by some kind of virus.
The cause of sudden virus attraction needed further investigation by the government.
Up until now, it's not contiguous as it seemed but in future it can't be that he was not sure.
He had no authority to stop villagers from further consumption of their produce with assurance that he was right with his theories.
That's why, he arranged everything for us to come here and investigate the whole situation more.
He might be wrong in some point or else they needed to evacuate the whole place.
I was completely shocked by his research. I never thought of that much of catastrophe.
Three of us tried to gather more information and samples from every single place that can work as a reliable source about the whole situation.
I got to know that Samantha was a remarkable woman who was in love with Joshua, and I was not the only person who was seeing that in her eyes and smile. Joshua, too, acknowledging her unsaid love every moment.
It took us two weeks to get our work done there enough to satisfy us.
In that whole time, I got lucky to know both of those devotional couple.
They tried to hide it but both of their affections showed us the otherwise obvious. Both of them accepted each other without telling any of us.
They sent me early to home and stayed there for another three to four days. I left them without any hesitations because I was the third wheel between those two lovebirds after all.
Because of me, they were looking for sneak out for their private times. I had to go so I took the chance.
It was a week after that my boss called me to his office and shared the heart breaking news to me that Joshua Sergi was died after my departure, he was affected by virus from beforehand.
Samantha was not in sanity after his death. Not only that was the bad news but the virus caught her too was the worst.
My boss asked me about my part of work. Is there any progress? I said the ugly truth, no one giving any crap on the whole situation.
They were saying it's not contiguous enough, still they didn't crossed thousand of deaths .
My boss enlightened me with a slight hope's of flares that certain people showing interest on that cursed village after we broadcasted the documentary on the television.
They were more interested after Joshua and Samantha get affected.
Me and my private monk took the liberty of silence.
Both, just, lost the will of saying anything to each other.
Laid back to each other walls with desperate needs of silence to lost into our each other own personal thoughts.
The life that can't be controlled and stopped by us. It's going to continue with or without our own permissions and consents.
Always going to sacrifice those who shouldn't have to and always those going to left behind who doesn't have to.
Silent sighs and charismatic winds are only alive in the whole atmosphere to grasp the agony of our own limitations for that night.