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Chapter 8 - Chapter 8: How to Die Safely with Peace

Age is just another conception to me that I like to conceive and achieve. Everyday workout before breakfast as I always do. I don't like to sweat so the exercise is sweat less then slightly light breakfast with lemon-orange juice sweetened with 1 teaspoon honey because it's too sour for me and it's good to consume 1 teaspoon raw honey daily, omelet with boiled minced beef, black pepper, salt, soy sauce, ginger and little bit of honey. Then green tea and a bowl of oatmeal without milk and sugar, it's more digestible for a man like me. Age made my stomach more intolerant than human being other than that I am okay. The menu is not fixated, it changes with my swinging moods. Love to cook for myself but always end up without sharing. I don't like others expressed opinions that much. It makes me uncomfortable, probably, age getting tired without alarming my body.

Then cleaning everything and go for a walk around my animals farm. It's peaceful here. No cars, no sounds of machineries, especially no girls or ladies to propose me. I can't handle this things very well. It makes me older than I am. My heart become less stronger than my physical fitness. I just can't overcome my discomfort so I come here to silent my screaming mind. I get proposal atleast 1 to 2 every week, they sent me every other possible solutions for their heart problems which is me. It's messing my head to think quietly. I need my peace of mind to think about my future. I have to think how should I spend my future time soundlessly. Well it's easy to say then to done.

I am a video game player though can't play in hard or can claim as a Pro either but I made my life out of it by giving space for kids to play. Every age is welcome. They come and pay to play then leave to eat snacks outside the playground then can join again. Everything is in my own space then I gave my animals farm to produce cheese which is used in my cheese hour café, all cheesy in the menu. For man like me it's a light way of life.

At first, I didn't notice that girls and women like to take my sneak pictures. I never thought of anything like that then they started to follow me, giving me perfumed letters, email with pictures and videos, sometimes they were singing, sometimes dancing and sometimes getting drunk and do something that needs drinks. I don't know why all these are happening to me. I am not that much gorgeous but I like myself to see every day. Selfless love towards me from me.

I am here just to live peacefully as long as I am going to breathe but for some reason, I am not feeling happy. All these attentions and attempts to get me, making me more empty from inside. I miss her. I really do. I am missing her all the time. After so many years, why now, all of a sudden. Something aching in me, feeling empty where there is no heart to beat but a warm stream covering up my emptiness and functioning my life to live.

It was her dream all long, to live by the lakeside farmhouse only with me, no actually not me, it's with him. He is the only one who she really was in love with. Not me. I am just living her dream life, missing her, missing her presence, those kids who could have mine. But why now, why now I am missing them, who I never thought of mine from the first place.

I never intended to fall for her. She was just another client at her less youngest age. Came to my shop on a heavy rains. All wet but not a single drop of water could make her less beautiful at her age. I was overwhelmed by her sight. She was looking like a fresh flower in one of my gloomy days. She came to play, learnt to know how to play, what to play. She never played anything like this before. At first, I couldn't understand that it was for someone else. She wanted to surprise someone she loves but only if I knew then. I was feeling good back then to be an acquaintance of her. Loving my job, adoring her and her sweet words. I never knew that someone can talk so sweetly. It was not happening in my life. I went through all the zoo's animals in my one place. Always laughing, giggling, making mess here and there, arguing, sometimes even bet and fight for it but never like her. A gentle creature, needing my help, asking questions and praising me and my loneliness.

She came there continuously for few days then that day came to discover the truth. She brought along a handsome guy, taller than me, gorgeous in one word. Good looking, charming, knew what to do everything perfectly. She was so happy with him, giggling like a young girl, she became younger in a minute, smiling without any break, talking with him, standing with each other closer as a lover. So, they are a couple, it took me time to understand.

After that mild heartburn, I didn't stop myself from growing up to this present level. Here I am trying to find my peace till I am alive. It's an excellent arrangement that I made myself to die with peace. It's a quiet rare thing for me. Taking care myself, watching the animals to grow, living peacefully with the locals who are not actually allowed to my premises but can work for me, is all I have in my mind till my life ends.

It's raining for few days now. Looking beautiful, cloudy gray ambient, light and sweet soft cold airy weather, shoving me everyway, making me believe that I am still in human form, have a face, nose, lips, chest, stomach, hands and legs. Still can live like a normal person because I have a birth right that I owed to myself. I don't know why I am, the way I am. Everyone I know are normal person, fall in love, get married, have a family of their own to love dearly and I am on the other side, doing business, connecting them, giving normal people way of living. Have a heart breaking story to tell others which is no one interested to listen because it's a very common thing.

Only me and my things but I am not feeling lonesome or sad about it because I am in peace. Waking up every morning at exact time, eating breakfast, lunch and dinner on time, taking care myself, breathing peaceful air in my lungs, doing my everyday work. It looks like yesterday that little boys and girls just born, I was their loving, caring uncle and now they all grown up, married to each other, having beautiful family of their own. I am happy in this short life of mine and it's true. Living in peace is just the best choice I have ever made in my life. No one to share my love that I don't know at present if I am able to, no female to take care, no one is there to control my feelings and me, I don't need to embrace anyone to give them inner peace of their insecurities whatever it's causing them. I am at subtle peace now, wish to continue it in that way.

Ah! bell is ringing, it's time to check out for telegram. I didn't kept any mobile phone or telephone in my little home. It's in the farm house. I only kept telegram and letter box in here. My servant ringing the bell, it means there is a telegram for me. In this weather, postman came with my telegram, must be urgent but who can it be?

Where is my servant? There is no one standing with my letters. I search the kitchen for him, there he is, talking to someone. Who is she? Teen spirit on her eyes but not that young but not middle aged like me. Big ocean blue eyes, beautiful, curiousity dancing in her eyes when I entered the kitchen. Long glossy bouncy hair seems like dancing with her. Youth is gripping her every corner of her soul. Who is she? my new servant? I don't know, I need to ask my butler.

As he entered in the kitchen, the butler stands up to introduce her as one of the siblings of his master's friend.