I left the room as quickly as possible. I came so close to losing my brother. He just regained consciousness, and already they want to turn down the ventilator?
It took every bit of strength I had not to break down sobbing when I saw Kedron open his eyes. I've never been so relieved to see someone blink in my whole life.
I couldn't honestly explain why I felt so emotional. Was it relief? I stayed strong in case, and now the tension let up, so I can fall apart? I don't want to fall apart. I don't want to be weak, but as soon as I entered the gender neutral bathroom down the hall from his room, I slid down the wall and broke down in sobs. I pulled my knees in tight to my chest, rested my head on my knees, and allowed the sobs to take me over.
Vaguely I heard the door open and close before the lock clicked. I felt big strong arms wrap around me and move me. "Shh, it's okay beautiful," said a deep, calm voice.
I took in a deep breath and felt calmer when his unique, manly scent met my olfactory senses. It was all Wam, and just what I wanted, even if I didn't want to admit it. He had lifted me into his lap as he sat next to me on the floor. My head rested on his shoulder and I was curled up virtually into the fetal position but sitting sideways on Wam's legs. His long, strong arms encircled me and just held me.
I've no idea how long we sat like this, but finally my tears slowed and I was able to take a few deep, calming breaths. Without looking up, I apologize, "I'm so sorry Wam."
Wam rubbed my back and kissed my head. "Oh beautiful…how many times do I have to tell you? It's okay to have emotions. I just wish you'd learn to come to me, to talk to me, instead of running off on your own."
"I did it again didn't I," I asked. "I'm just so used to being alone."
I felt Wam take a deep breath before he said, "you are not alone anymore. I love you and I want to be here for you."
I wiped my face with both hands before I looked up and met Wam's eyes sheepishly. "I don't make that easy do I?"
Wam gave a small smirk and titled his head when he asked, "don't make what easy?"
"Being there for me…loving me?" I whispered.
"Oh Lee," he disagreed, "you are very easy to love. You have quite an independent streak," he laughed, "but you are easy to love."
I couldn't help but smile in return. This man was more that I ever dared to pray for. It was odd to think I met Wam because of Kedron's trauma. Would we have met otherwise? The higher power works in mysterious ways!
"Kedron was worried about you, but agreed I could check on you. Do you think we should go back?" Wam suggested.
"So you'll change the settings, but you aren't taking K off the machine and not taking out the breathing tube yet right?" I clarified.
"Correct. We need to see if Kedron can breath on his own. We cannot do that when the ventilator is doing it for him. I'm expecting the Respiratory Therapist to discuss the best settings to help him strengthen those muscles. If Kedron struggles, we adjust the settings again." I felt Wam stroke my hair as he talked. His hand ran from the top of my head to the end of my ponytail slowly but repeatedly. It had a calming affect on me.
Wam continued to explain, "remember there is a nurse or someone in the room with him pretty much all the time right now. The time to do this is when he is still in ICU. It's very low risk Lee. I hope you know I'd never lie to you."
I startled in his lap and leaned back enough to meet his eyes, "I trust you Wam. I appreciate your honesty. Thank you."
Wam raised his eyebrows, "thank you for what?"
I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck as I straddled his lap. Wam moaned, "Kynlee, I only have so much control. Stop moving so much."
I laughed as I hugged him close but held my hips still. "Thank you for being you. For caring, for being honest, and for supporting me. It means the world to me." I pushed on his shoulders, sat back, and placed my lips on his. It started out as an innocent show of affection, but soon our mouths were open, our tongues tasting each other, and both Wam's hands were pulling my hips tight against his body. Now I was the one that moaned and couldn't get close enough.
Wam's length hardened beneath me and I felt the gusset of my panties moisten. This man made me feel emotions I didn't even think possible. I simply couldn't get close enough to him. More than anything, I wanted to rip his clothes off and feel him inside me. My fingers tangled in his hair and I tried to consume him through his mouth.
Suddenly Wam pulled back, placed his forehead on mine. His chest was rising rapidly to catch his breath, or was it excitement? "I'd love to take you right here Lee, but this isn't the place or time. We need to get back."
I felt my cheeks heat as I realized what I'd have done if Wam hadn't pulled back. Wam put his finger under my chin and tilted my head up. He waited to speak until I met his gaze. "Hey," he gave me a quick kiss on the forehead, "I love the chemistry between us. You don't have to be embarrassed. I just don't want you upset with me because I put the brakes on."
Now Wam looked sheepish. I smiled and kissed his forehead. "Naw baby. You're right. I'll get you later," I winked.
Wam laughed as he inquired, "is that a threat or a promise?"
I sat back and stood up with my hand out to help Wam up. He took my hand and rose to a standing position before he started to dust off his pants from sitting on the floor. He was so darn handsome in his office casual clothing. The white button down accented Wam's nicely tanned skin, black hair, and dark brown eyes. He looked up and saw me staring at him and asked, "what?" With a smirk.
"I was just thinking how handsome you are. In answer to your question, it's a promise. I'm a lucky lady though because you aren't just a pretty face," I laughed.
"I'm not," he asked as he backed me up against the wall with his body, and placed his hands on either side of my head. He arched one eyebrow, "what else am I then?"
I gave him my most sultry smile…ah who am I kidding? I don't think I could do sexy no matter how hard I tried. Either way, I smile and run my open hand from Wam's nape to his chest and place my palm over his heart. "You are…well educated, kind, caring, honest, you have integrity, and…you're a very generous lover."
Wam's smile grew at the last part. "I am, am I?"
I nod, "so far, you've been understanding, responsive, and generous with giving me pleasure. I only hope I can return that much pleasure to you." I wrap my arm around his waist and rest my ear against his chest, next to my other hand. The steady beat of his heart calms my mind, body, and possibly even my soul.
In a playful voice, I continue, "some may be impressed by your financial status, but I couldn't care less how much money you have. It's nice to have money I'm sure, and I'm grateful for your help, but that's not why I love you. I love your personality, your caring nature, and that even at my lowest, you didn't let me chase you away."
Wam wrapped his arms around my back and hugged me securely, "I do have faults Kynlee. You just haven't seen many of them yet."
"Gasp," I exclaim, "the great Doctor Teton has flaws?"
Wam laughs before tickling my ribs briefly and making me squirm. "I work too much, I have a hard time saying 'no' at times, I tend not to sleep well, I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and I can be a bit ornery when things don't go my way."
I nuzzle into Wam's chest and admit, "so far you haven't told me anything to send me running away."
"Thank goodness. As much as I'd love to hold you all day, we need to get back," Wam stated. He pulled back and turned to unlock the door.
I took a deep cleansing breath, splashed a little water on my face, and followed him out the door toward Kedron's room. Wam waited in the hall and took my hand as we walked. He simply nodded in reply when I said, "thanks again Wam."