A text from Wam asking if I could talk? Of course I have time for him. I had been waiting most of the day to hear from him. I know Dr. Wambleeska Teton was a busy surgeon, and people's lives depended on him, literally. I had to be patient.
Before I could change my mind, I pressed Wam's name, on my cell phone, to call him. I was hoping he wasn't sleeping yet. A very sleeping sounding Wam picked up the phone, "Dr. Teton.."
"Oh Wam, I'm so sorry if I woke you. I'll let you sleep. We can talk tomorrow."
As I went to push 'end call' I heard, "Kynlee...Kynlee!" The second time was louder and sharper and I put the phone back to my ear.
"Yes?" I replied.
"Please don't hang up. It's good to hear your voice. How are you? How is Kedron?" Wam asked in a husky voice that left me wondering if he wore pajamas to bed or slept in his underwear? Hmmm boxers or briefs? Or maybe he slept in his birthday suit? Nah it gets cold here, nude probably isn't practical. I got lost in my fantasies... Wam looks so good in clothes, I can only imagine him without. Probably a spattering of black chest hair and maybe a happy trail leading...
"Kynlee, are you there?" Wam asked.
"Sorry, yeah I'm here. Why don't you tell me about your day Wam?" I said, trying to give my self time to calm my libido before I embarrassed myself.
"Oh man.. not even sure where to start. It's been a hellacious twenty four to thirty six hours." Wam went on to explain about the accident and getting called in yesterday. He then spoke about Wanda possibly having a blood clot and being treated. Wam ended by saying, "I'm so glad I was able to help Halian and to what was up with Wanda today. Family is everything to me. Without family we don't have much."
"Yeah, family is important Wam. I'm glad you know how lucky you are to have a nice big family that supports you. I'd do anything to have mine back." I was fighting the tears stinging my eyes as I finished speaking.
"Oh Kynlee, I'm sorry. That was selfish of me to say. If you'd have me, I'd like nothing more than to bring you and Kedron into our family. I know how you feel about people helping, but if you were family, maybe it wouldn't bother you so much?" He asked with a hopeful lilt to his voice.
"Wam, I'm going to ask you something and want you to be honest. Okay?"
"Sure Kynlee. I told you you can ask anything. What do you want to know? Ask and I shall try to answer." This time it sounded like he was smiling and joking when he spoke.
"Wam, I'm serious. I overheard some discussion, and somebody said that you had created or donated to the grant I was given." I said and stopped waiting for a reply.
Wam cleared his throat before answering, "uh hum. Who did you hear gossiping now? I'll report them fir such unprofessional behavior."
"Wam I need to know if the grant money is yours. Please tell me the truth." My voice went quiet at the end.
"Kynlee, I knew you wouldn't take money from me. This way you get a grant you don't have to pay back, and I get a nice tax deduction. It's win-win in my book." Wam tried to sound happy and upbeat, but likely knew I was steaming mad.
"What happened to respecting my boundaries and not being too pushy? This feels dishonest to me because you involved Mark in your lie too. An anonymous donor, really? Do you know what the doctors and nurses think since word got out the grant was from you? Now I'm borrowing your car. Just wait until they find out I'm staying at your cabin. No doubt they already think we are sleeping together. Jokes on me I guess." I wiped the single tear that rolled down my cheek and sniffed through my nose. "I'm so sorry about your sister's accident and their injuries. As much as I appreciate your help Wam, I'm upset with you right now."
"I'm not sure I understand what you're upset about Kynlee. Are you mad that I gave you the money or that you took it without knowing it was from me?
"Wow Wam! I'm upset at you for hiding things from me regardless of my request not to." My voice got a little louder as my statement when on. Yeah, mad didn't even begin to cover it. Enraged, furious, maybe livid was the best word. I could almost imagine smoke coming out my ears and my face red as a tomato ripened by the sun.
Wam spoke calmly and quietly. It reminded me of how animal handlers talk to their scared, angry, or traumatized animals. I didn't hear a word he said. He was attempting to 'handle me', and I was not having it!
"Thank you Wam for being honest, but I need some time to process this. Sleep well Dr. Teton." With that, I hung up and began to think about what the heck I was gonna do?
Was I wrong to be mad about Wam helping me? Maybe I should be grateful. No. I specifically told him I didn't want anymore of his help. That's very likely why he went through Mark and didn't tell me. Sadly, the fact of the matter was, that thousand dollars a month, borrowing Wam's car, and living rent free at his home were making this bearable, allowed me to quit my job, and be here with Kedron in his time of need. Since I was his lone relative, I was his healthcare power of attorney by default, until Kedron was again able to make his own decisions.
I appreciated Wam's knowledge and skills as much or more than his financial assistance. It's just always so difficult for me to accept help. He had also been so supportive of me emotionally. Without Kedron and Wam, I'd be completely alone. The question I had to answer was, could I learn to accept help and let my anger go? What I knew of Wam, he dedicated his life to helping others. Was I being too harsh?
My mother was a wise woman and always said, "before making any big decisions, always sleep on them first. Sometimes clarity comes with time and allowing the mind to process."
Times like these, I missed my parents immensely. My dad was great, but he and Kedron were closer as were Mom and I. I never realized what a great family and upbringing I had until it was ripped away from me, from us.
I straightened up and got ready for bed. Tomorrow would no doubt be another busy day. I set my alarm to allow me time to get to Kedron's room before doctor's rounds in the morning. As I lay in my guest bed in Wam's cabin, I couldn't help but think I might be overreacting. The poor man had to do emergency surgery yesterday on his nephew and almost lost his sister to a pulmonary embolism today. Yeah, I needed to cut him some slack. I decided I should be grateful he wants to help me and give him support throughout his family's trauma as well.
In the morning I would either call or text him.