All in all, I think my discussion with Kynlee was very productive. I'm so relieved to know she trusts me. It's been difficult to be certain at times if I was the issue, or the stress of the situation was getting to her.
A wise instructor once told us, aspiring doctors in medical school, "most people are the center of their own worlds. Some act selfish intentionally, but most are simply overwhelmed by circumstances. Be kind to them, even if they don't act that way toward you. Kindness costs you nothing but can brighten someone's entire day."
I loved that professor. He was a physician until he retired, and then he became a teacher to pass along all the knowledge and expertise he had gained over the years. After graduation, he became more than an instructor, but also a friend and trusted resource when I doubted myself. His death while I was in my residency, was one of the hardest things I've ever dealt with. I'd never seen a funeral so huge. My mentor and friend had touched so many lives in his lifetime. It was touching to see the impact he had. It made me want to try even harder to be an amazing doctor.
Now seeing Kynlee in front of me, I couldn't help but wonder what all I'd missed in the last twelve years. Am I ready to find a woman, get married, start a family? This is only the third day I've known Kynlee, but already I cannot imagine my life without her in it. Now to figure out how to make that happen without getting myself in trouble with the ethics committee or the board of physicians. I wanted a chance with this woman, but I did not want to lose my career because of it. Under no circumstances could I allow Dr. Adams to catch on. I wouldn't put it above her to be vengeful toward Kynlee, and that was not happening!
I heard a quiet, "penny for your thoughts?"
I glanced briefly toward the passenger side front seat where Kynlee was seated as we drove to the mall. "You want honesty?" I asked with one brow raised.
"I always want honesty Wam. Even when I may not like the answer. Hopefully I can count on you, of all people, to be straight with me?" Kynlee was looking at me completely seriously.
It's good to know honesty is important to her as well. We likely wouldn't do well under the same roof if she wanted everything sugar coated. I simply was not that man. "Sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude by getting lost in my thoughts. I was thinking of how I'd rather stay here with you and Kedron than to return to my primary residence." I could see the shock on Kynlee's face and it made me feel warm inside. This girl really had no idea how attractive she was. In my book, that made her even more beautiful, inside and out. "I have a favor to ask of you Kynlee." She continued to look over at me as I paused, "I'd like you to promise me that if there are issues with the house, the car, you, or Kedron, you won't hesitate to call me."
"But you're a busy surgeon Wam. You don't have time to bother with my calls and petty concerns."
I pulled into a parking spot at the mall, put the SUV in park, removed my seatbelt, and turned in my seat to face her. I grabbed her hand in mine, tipped her chin up with my other hand, and gazed into her eyes as I spoke, "you are not a bother Kynlee. No concern you have is petty!" I took a calming breath so I didn't lose my cool at her self deprecating comments. "Whether you understand or not, I care about you. It's my choice to help you and your brother. I want to be aware of what's going on and if you need anything. I have surgeries everyday Monday through Thursday, so I have to return to Red Wing. Dr. Adams is a good doctor, but if you question something she says or does, please call me. I was called in to consult on Kedron's case, and that's just what I did. Monday or Tuesday we will hopefully have the culture and sensitivity results back so we can treat the cause of the Kedron's pneumonia more effectively. Do you have questions for me before we shop for some clothes?"
With wide eyes Kynlee shook her head. "I promise I'll call if I have issues or concerns. Thank you Wam."
I couldn't help but smile, gave a nod, a gentle squeeze of her hand, and I jumped out and ran around to open her door for her. We entered a large department store first. Kynlee was not picky, and chose comfortable jeans, tee shirts, underwear, a couple sweatshirts, and two pajama sets. After only visiting two stores, we were finished. I tried to add to the pile of purchases, but Kynlee assured me she had plenty of clothing, just not with her. She planned to make a trip to pack up their apartment as soon as Kedron was stable and she felt she could leave.
I was so happy to hear she was giving up her apartment and job and would be staying with me, that I chose to pick my battles. Kynlee needed to feel like she was in control, so I had to pick which issues I pushed and which I conceded. With the clothes she purchased, she had three complete outfits she could choose from. That was a huge improvement over the outfit she still had on from two days ago. I had a washer and dryer at the cabin, so she could wash clothes whenever the need arose.
The drive back to the cabin was filled with mindless chatter about the community of Rochester. Once I pulled the SUV into the yard, the talk turned toward all the options in the house and things Kynlee may need to know while staying here. I explained the front door code, the security system, showed her the electrical box, the heating and air conditioning systems, the water and water heater, the sewer which should not be of concern, the credit card I now had for home purchases, the list of repair people to call if needed, and last but not least, I showed her where I kept extra keys for the car, the shed, and a few miscellaneous other items.
Leaving should not be this hard. "Okay Kynlee... I need to get packed and head out. Is there anything I can do for you before I leave? I plan to be back Friday evening."
"I think we covered everything. Of course questions will probably come to me after you leave," she sad with a quirk of her lips.
"Isn't that about the way it goes? Okay. I'll be here for a little bit yet if you think of something." I turned on my heal and went to my master suite to pack up what little I brought back and forth. For convenience sake, I kept suits and work out clothes at both homes. My third home was strictly a vacation home, and I did not keep extras there. It's been so long since I'd been there, it was hard to remember the details of what it looked like and what I did and did not have there. Maybe once Kedron was in rehab, I could convince Kynlee to take a weekend getaway with me? There was so much I didn't know about Kynlee yet, but I found myself wanting to do things, experience things, and feel things I've not allowed myself to feel since high school. I had to figure out what it was about this young woman that made me yearn to be better. She was beautiful with just the right amount of curves, and the dark coloring I was usually attracted to, but I honestly didn't think it was her looks that drew me to her.
As I packed up my briefcase and computer bag, I thought of all the things I've learned about her over the last 2 1/2 days.
Kynlee was very dedicated to her family. Unfortunately all that was left of her family was her brother after her parents passed in a freak car accident. Kynlee worked one full time job as a waitress and a part time job as a cashier when she needed extra money. Although smart enough, Kynlee and Kedron didn't pursue college because they had to work just to make ends meet. Working two jobs was hard enough, but adding college on top of that was next to impossible. Maybe someday I could help make that dream a reality for Kynlee. Her smile, laugh, and sense of humor did something to me. I found myself wanting to do anything and everything to make her happy and lighten her load.
Kynlee and Kedron may be young, but they've dealt with things many people my ripe old age of thirty hadn't yet. Personal and worldly experience had to count for something. A knock on my bedroom door jarred me from my thoughts. I looked over and saw she had changed her clothing, fixed her hair, and appeared ready to go. I simply smiled and waited for her to tell me why she was here in my bedroom.
Kynlee swung the key fob back and forth on her right index finger as she looked around the room. "I umm am heading back to the hospital. I've been away long enough already. I just wanted to say goodbye and thank you again for all your help. You're a good guy Wam."
As I zipped my bag, I felt her arms slide around my waist from the side. I instinctively turned toward her embrace, wrapped my arms around her back, and rested my head on the top of hers. As we stood there holding each other, exactly what I had been wanting to do to her all day, I couldn't help but set her straight. "I'm far from a saint Kynlee. Thank you for the kind words, but please don't put me up on a pedestal. That's a long way to fall."
Kynlee pulled back slightly and gave me a strange look. "To me, your like an angel sent by God, to help me and Kedron in our time of need. So thank you."
I felt her reach up on her toes to kiss my cheek like Friday night. I'm not sure what came over me, but I turned my head toward her and met her lips with mine. Initially she froze when our lips met. Within seconds she was giving as good as she got. What started out as a rather innocent peck on the cheek, was turning into an emotion filled kiss in which our mouths were open, tongues dancing against each other, and my chest began to burn with the need to take a breath. Kynlee pulled away first and I let her go. I'd pushed my luck with the kiss, and I didn't want her to feel I was being pushy. She turned to leave without saying a word, but I couldn't let her leave like that. "Kynlee..." I waited for her to stop before I continued, "I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds. If you don't want me to, I won't do it again."
Hand to her lips, she turned toward me with eyes wide, cheeks flushed, and shook her head, "no Wam. It was nice, but I have to go. Thank you. I'll see you Friday night," and she walked out the front door and drove away.
All I could do was stand there momentarily. Did that really just happen? Did Kynlee and I just share our first kiss? I couldn't help the smile that overtook my face. Hopefully the first of many.