He turned back to the window. The sun was going to rise in less than a half an hour. He could see the deep orange glowing over the tree edges. He could feel the humidity in the air, as well as the earth spinning beneath everything. The sun cracked over the horizon and a bright orange light pierced through the forest. He leaned into the window sill. "Just once, I'll watch the world become day. I should remember that."
Emi's shoulders pulled back. "Yeah, right... Close the window."
He didn't even look at her. He still stood there, staring outward. She called his name, but it was soundless. He could see the rays of sunlight bleach the back of the clouds, and slither down the walls of the house. It was coming closer.
Just before the sunlight entered the room, Emi leapt up. In one swift movement, she slammed the window shut, pulled the curtains together, and shoved Iggy back a step. Standing in between him and the covered window, she grasped his hand in her own and looked into his eyes, searching for something deep within. She whispered urgently, as if she were afraid someone else would overhear, "why would you do that? Why would you want to hurt yourself? Don't you know what the sun does?"
Iggy jerked his head back at the thought of it. "Did I want to hurt myself?" He looked away from her, considering it. Yes, he would. It was always what he wanted, but what was more important than what he wanted was her reaction. He whispered back, much calmer than she, "are you surprised?"
"Yes!"
With no time to waste, her hand pressed onto his shoulder and she pushed him backwards into the bed. He fell down and she crept up on top of him with her legs along each side. Her chest pressed down into his aggressively, so that her face came so close that he could feel her breath on his lips. Her eyes seemed to see right through him. She said, "I don't want you to be in pain. I want you to be happy. When you are happy, I am happy, too."
"Nothing's wrong-" Her lips kissed him, silencing him.
Then, her kiss danced over his cheek and down his neck. As if she already knew what to do to him, she pressed hard into his throat, and he could feel her teeth on the other side of her lips begging to come out. It was dangerous, however exciting that she could have easily bit him, causing him intense pain, but she didn't. Of course she didn't. She didn't want him to be in pain.
A first.
Instead, she opened her mouth next to his ear. She whispered something. What? He couldn't say, he wouldn't even remember, but what he did know was that his body was nearly frozen from shock. Sensational shock. Other men would have just melted in the moment, and allowed things to progress, but not Iggy. He was different.
He was frozen stock still for longer than what was comfortable, forgetting to breath! He pushed her off to the side, sat up and gasped for air. His arms crossed over his chest and he hunched forward, closing the space that was once for her. He blinked forcefully, validating to himself that he was still there. "I'm sorry for scaring you," he spoke rapidly. He closed his eyes and lowered his chin. "Wi… with the window. I know that if I get hurt, you will get hurt, too… I wasn't thinking. I won't do it again. I'm sorry. I just… I just don't understand what I'm feeling or why you are doing this to me."
Emi dragged her hand across his shoulders and rested it on his chest. Her breasts flattened against his back and she said quietly in his ear, "we're ready for this."
"For what?"
"I love you," she said sincerely. "I've been taught that we'll live forever, but I don't believe it anymore. I feel like something bad might happen. And I… I... I want to have sex with you while I still can."
"Wh… what? Sex?" He turned and faced her. "How did we get this far? So fast?"
She shook her head. "It's been weeks."
"That's what you want?" He loosened his arms and turned his body to face her. Sitting up a little, his right hand pressed the side of her neck and from the touch a flutter of nervousness ran rampant through his stomach. "You need to know what this feels like, too."
"You shouldn't."
Iggy ignored the warning. If anything, he'd scare her out of this. He pressed his lips hard against her neck. A quiet moan escaped her. She enjoyed the danger, too, if not even more. He kissed her again, and she began to breathe a little harder. Continuing to kiss her, he pushed her down into the pillows. He felt calm… then… just a little too calm.
Serene.
He pulled away and fluttered his eyelids. Pulling back didn't help, because he was confronted by her jet black eyes, capturing him, still. Her fingers worked the buttons along the front of her dress open. She pulled the sides apart, revealing two full, round breasts with erect tight nipples. Her skin was so sheer white and soft that she was like a white cloud laying against the night sky.
"Ah… no… no…" Iggy pulled back further, shaking his head side to side.
Emi caught him by the shoulders. "Your eyes are dark, too," she said. "You want me."
He clenched his eyes shut and nodded. He did and he didn't all at the same time. Although he was afraid of how intense the situation would become, he kicked her legs up so that her knees bent and her heels dug into the mattress. He found the hem of her dress and flipped her skirt up and over her thighs. As he set his sights on her, her knees bent inward, closing the path.
He looked into her face.
Her eyes were tightly closed and her hands covered her naked chest, containing everything that she had just exposed. He wouldn't go further. He crawled through her knees and laid on top of her. Her eyes slowly opened, and she peered down at him as he laid his chin into her sternum. Her breathing nearly stopped.
This was by far the closest that they had ever been and the most that they had ever touched up until this point, even he was sure of it. His voice was very quiet and calm. "Now might not be the best time to do this." Her breasts hardened beneath him, as she entertained the thought of it, but he rolled off of her onto the other side of the bed and tucked a pillow underneath his head.
She sighed. Her voice became high pitched and shy. "I believe in you."
His ears burned hot and he turned around to look at her. She still hadn't moved. Laying on her back with her legs opened and exposed, her fingers just barely covering her nipples and her shoulders still bare. "I only want you to go slow with me." Her throat grew tight. "Because it's my first time." She admitted it! That she was a virgin and a woman nevertheless. Practically something that was unheard of past the age fourteen, or at least never said out loud.
He sat up on the bed and hunched over his legs. "Don't be stupid. It's my first time, too."
"Sure," her cheeks blushed. "But you're a man. It's not a big deal."
"A man?" he chuckled. "I'm just a kid."
"Not from where I'm looking."
He crooked his eyebrows. "Are there rules?"
She laughed. "Of course there are rules!"
He shifted his lips to the side. "Whatever the rules are… I can't do this without biting you."
"You don't have to bite me."
"I might not be able to make that choice."