Iggy met his gaze and delicately, yet sincerely, whispered, "thank you."
Nansen's long hand covered his mouth and he yawned into it. "For what?"
"For taking care of me… for always taking care of me."
Nansen flattened his lips against one another, yet the corners were still perked up, smiling. He looked Iggy square in the eyes, more focused than he had been. His upper body leaned closer to him as if he were going to whisper something back, however he raised his gentle hand to touch Iggy's face instead.
Iggy melted into the warmth of his palm against his cheekbone. With him, he could generously share his space and time, for he was his mother, father, and brother all at once.
"It wasn't easy taking care of you for so long," Nansen replied. "I won't even pretend that it was. Sometimes, it was quite unbearable."
Iggy sighed and loosened his hand over his. "I understand that now."
"What exactly?"
"How difficult it is to be around uninfected people. The food, clumsiness…"
"No… no," he interrupted. "Well, yes. That, too, but that isn't what I'm talking about." Nansen pulled his hand back and laid it across his lap with his wrist facing upwards. His other finger dragged lightly over the tendons. "Whenever I thought that you were too hurt or unhealthy, I felt a strong pressure right here in both of my wrists. So strong, that it felt like someone was literally standing on them. It was my body's way of telling me to save you. But, even when you were bleeding from your face and so disoriented that you couldn't speak, I never infected you. It took so much out of me, that I developed a strength that I never had before. This kind of strength, self-discipline, carries over to the most important parts of life. Making the hardest struggles less of a big deal."
Perhaps saying these kinds of things was how Nansen got women to play with him so often? Or perhaps, there was actually wisdom there. Iggy felt comfortable and laid his hand flat over Nansen's wrist. "Does it still hurt?" he asked.
Nansen looked down at the back of Iggy's hand. "Sure, it does."
Iggy wrapped his fingers around Nansen's wrist. "Do you want me to take some from you? Will it help?"
Nansen didn't require time to think. He said, "of course I do. I already offered myself to you."
Iggy inhaled and exhaled slowly, feeling the nervousness return. A wicked fluttering in the middle of his stomach. A clenching of his throat. Nothing suppressed hunger better than nervousness. He loved Nansen. He wasn't afraid of his blood swimming inside of him, or how he might act afterwards, but something instinctual told him to not harm his brother. Maybe it was supposed to be a hard thing to do for both people?
However, when he remembered Emi, he couldn't recall there ever being an obstacle that he couldn't overcome. Hell, he couldn't stop himself from doing it. She was lucky that she was still in one piece after their play time earlier. He imagined himself biting Nansen, just like he had bit her.
He shook his head and let go of Nansen's wrist. "I can't do it."
Nansen's eyes pried into him. "Why not?"
Hoping to hide how he felt, Iggy turned his cheek away. "I can't do that to you because… once I see it, smell it, or taste it, I become a monster and I don't want to hurt you. I really don't."
Nansen snagged both of Iggy's cheeks in between his palms and pulled his face to look directly into his eyes. "Let it go," he stated.
Iggy cringed and looked away. "Emi just told me something like that..."
Nansen jerked him back to attention. "Iggy, you need to surrender to your condition. Until you do that, you're going to suffer. I've been telling you this every night for two whole weeks. If you need to be forced to feed, then the virus is going to take advantage of the moment, and take as much as it possibly can."
Iggy shook his head out of his grasp. "I can't bring myself to kill people or hurt you all."
Nansen flicked Iggy's chin, forcing him to glance back into his eyes. "Seriously, Iggy… Everyone has this reaction." His voice deepened. "The only difference is that no one here has a reaction like you do. It's strong, lasts longer, and is much harder to satiate. If you don't want to hurt us, or kill more people than necessary, you need to eat while you're still the one in control..." He paused and tilted his head toward the doorway. "Did you hear that?"
Iggy refocused his attention.
There was a noise… There was a low rumbling noise, accessorized with clinks and clanks. A faint grinding sound of rocks against dirt muffled through the exterior walls.
Nansen turned his head toward the security monitors across the room. On the screen, they could see that the first main gate was opened to the world outside. On another screen, the second gate was open, too. Nansen leapt up to his feet and bolted to the security wall. Deciphering what his mind couldn't grasp, yet, he asked, "why are the doors open? They're never open! Amare was on duty!"
Iggy came to his side. "What does it mean?"
Nansen held up a finger for silence. From the camera pointing toward the very inner gate, they could see a massive black vehicle charging along the road. It was covered in armor that was strong enough to burst through the iron gates. The sun was gleaming hot behind it at a low angle, too. They held their breath as the vehicle came closer. A few feet before the iron gate, it skidded to a halt. Nansen exhaled, but just then, the gate opened all on its own and the vehicle squealed into the front yard.
Nansen swung an arm around Iggy and pushed him toward the lobby. "Go! Go! Go!" he screamed. They whipped around the corner toward the stairway. As he passed the front doors, Nansen's face flattened against the eyehole and his hand blindly rechecked all of the locks. It made no difference.