Chereads / Aleridium: How a memelord and his rpg character survive on a new world / Chapter 7 - Weege's Mansion 3 (Kinetic hullabaloo)

Chapter 7 - Weege's Mansion 3 (Kinetic hullabaloo)

"Uuugh, what am I supposed to do..." Edward whined after realizing his missing class.

"Fret not Sir, not having a class doesn't mean you are useless," Noah said, trying to comfort Hyde.

"Nnnn fine... Let me check my stats then." Hyde said, swiping his finger randomly until the sheet changed by swiping right.

Replacing the character sheet, another sheet with a more technical aspect appeared, showing his stats.

= = =

[Vitality: 10]

[Strength: 10]

[Intelligence: 10]

[Charisma: 10]

= = =

"Perfectly balanced, as all things should be. But I still want a class y'know?" Edward said discouraged.

"Fret not Sir, you will get one in due time," Noah said to help.

"...You're right." the memelord said, his spirits renewed. "For now let's get out of this mansion."

"Very well," Noah said, before turning to Edward and stare at him. "But please don't go running away into a suicide attack."

"No promises," said Hyde, sending a smug smile his way.

= = =

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" Edward screamed as he bashed the head of a zombie with a stick, breaking it in the process.

"Language Sir! Language!" Noah yelled as he waltzed through the tattered dancing hall, shooting zombies left to right.

"The only language I know right now is violence!" Hyde answered, taking out another stick and impaling a zombie's head with it before turning around and punching another one's nose inside his skull

"Sir I must remind you," the crusader said as he fired a shot and killing a zombie behind Hyde's back. "Violence is never the answer."

"Then what about now? Is violence the answer?" Edward said sarcastically, as he slammed the last zombie remaining onto the wooden floor, breaking it in the process.

"Well..." Noah raised a finger, before withdrawing his motion and instead choosing a thoughtful pose.

*Roooooooooar!*

As the duet chit-chatted, they saw how, from the dance Hall's stage, appeared a giant, zombified abomination.

its appearance like a giant gorilla wearing what appeared to once have been a fancy black suit.

"Well then, is it the answer in this case?" Edward said in a cocky manner.

"Correction, violence is not always the answer," Noah said, pointing out his mistake.

"There you go! I'm proud of ya." Hyde said while giving Noah a double thumbs up. After which he turned them sideways and used them to point a gigantic monster. "So, wanna use yer new enlightenment to go and beat the shit out of that?"

Noah loaded his dual eagles as he readied his stance, his eyes prying on their target.

"Not many options left, are they?"

"Actually," Edward raised a finger, a devilish smile painting his face and a very stupid plan brewing. "Hey, Alexa! Play music on Spotify!"

In pure bewilderment, Noah stared at the Bluetooth speaker attached to his wrist suddenly glow up, and as the instructions were received by the speaker, it began to play...

["Now playing "The Trooper" by Iron Maiden"]

As the guitars started to sound, the Zombie fixed its gaze on Noah, getting ready to attack him.

As Edward moved from his position, he yelled: "Noah! Distract him!", Noah heard and executed the orders, albeit a bit surprised by the speed of such a massive being. Edward on the other hand did what he was best at, looting bodies.

[Obtained old rope X1]

[Obtained old curtain X1]

[Ontained kitchen knife X1]

'Why the fuck's there a kitchen knife here.' Edward couldn't help but imagine that it maybe was used for some kind of stage trick or something like that.

Meanwhile...

As Noah kept dodging the giant zombie, he couldn't help but be impressed at its speed, he was struggling to keep the distance between them after all!

As for Edward's side, his little scheme was almost done, as the finishing touch, he yelled:

"Noah! Throw the speaker!"

In an instant, the speaker was already making its way towards Edward.

As if it was a football ball, Edward grabbed the speaker and lead the zombie towards the stage, as the zombie pursued him, he failed to notice a piece of rope tied up, making it fall headfirst into the stage's floor.

*Crack*

without losing time, Edward jumped over the now fallen zombie's body while taking out his newly found knife. Approaching the start of his spine, Edward tried stabbing through it in an attempt to immobilize the beast, being met with the fact that cutting through human skin is harder than what it looks like.

*Rooooooar!*

"Shit!" His plan failed, and Edward now had to work with improv.

While Edward was planning his next plan, Noah took his shots at the beast, these doing no effect apart from angering it.

"Sir I am open to suggestions!"

While fiddling with some curtains up above, Edward answered: "In my opinion? Distract him while I work something out."

"If it's not a bother-"

*Rooooar!!!*

"-But since when do you know how to make traps?"

As Edward made the finishing touches to his makeshift abomination of a trap, he answered with a toothy smile:

"That's the neat part, currently-"

In a crazy move, Edward swung off the ceiling with a curtain.

"I'm winging it!"

As he Tarzan'd into the zombie, he swiftly tied the curtain's extreme to the zombie's neck and threw the speaker towards Noah.

"Run bitch! Run!!!"

Without missing a beat, Noah ran away from the giant undead, and as he did so, the curtain abruptly halted its movement.

As the beast still tried to catch Noah, this one asked "Will this work?"

Without minding too much, and still on top of the beast, Edward answered smugly. "Well either its neck gives up, or the curtain-"

*Craaaaack*

Faster than his muscles would've liked, Edward looked behind him to see that the curtain hadn't given up...

"Well fuck me..."

But the ceiling it was attached to did.

*Boom!*

As the ceiling piece fell into the floor a giant hole formed, and both the curtain and zombie fell in...

And it would've all been okay if a certain someone...

"FUCK!"

...Hadn't been standing on top of the zombie.

A little bit too late than it was preferable, Edward jumped off the zombie as this one was already heading down into the hole.

As the song from the speaker ended, Edward found himself barely managing to grab onto the ledge, his heart beating heavily due to the adrenaline and the feeling of "whattheactualfuck"ery due to his crazy scheme somehow working.

As a hand reached down to him, Edward grabbed it and was lifted back onto solid ground. Without missing a beat, Edward looked at Noah with a look of admiration.

"Now THAT's badass" Edward exclaimed, admiration and surprise evident in his face.

Noah simply retracted his shield and saved his guns, making a simple comment. "Indeed, it was pretty badass."

"No but seriously, that was like, the most badass thing I've ever done..." Edward made a brief pause, before adding. "...That I remember..."

"Well Sir, I hope you remember that we aren't done exploring this place," Noah said in a slightly smug tone, proud that he is being admired by someone.

= = =

"So, what is a Memelord?" Noah asked, trying to gain some information about Edward while they walked through the mansion.

"I'm kind of a big deal," Hyde said as he made some exaggerated gestures. "Are you listening?"

Noah nodded, as Edward proceeded with his gestures.

"Okay. Grass grows, birds fly, the sun shines, and brotha'? I meme."

Noah stared at Edward waiting for a deeper explanation, and not before long, he delivered.

"I pride myself in making memes outta situations, you get me? You do something cool? I meme about it. You do something lame? I meme about it. Did something happen that made everyone just fuckin' crack up? You bet yo ass I'mma meme about it."

"Not only that" Edward continued, lifting a finger. "I'm fast as FUCK when it comes to it. I'm a fucking force of memeing, literally takes me SECONDS to make memes about shit!"

"So you are kind of a Jester then?" Noah inquired in a doubtful tone.

"Ehhhh, kinda." Edward said in a lower tone, but immediately switching back to his smug and energetic one right away. "I'm very damn good at it tho!"

Seeing Hyde's energetic character, he couldn't help but smile a little.

"Indeed you are."

As he said that though, his mind only wondered something about the last encounter...

'What kind of jester would do something as crazy as that... And most importantly, he had no specified class.'

Looking up at the memelord, one question remained.

'Edward Hyde, who exactly are you?'

As they finally reached the end of this hallway, Noah decided to leave that question for later as he couldn't let it compromise his current quest.

'Perhaps I'll know one day, but for now, all I can do is follow you.'

"Are ya ready to kick ass?" Edward said, looking back at Noah with a determined look.

"Always." Noah said, his weapons ready.

"Then let's fucking do this!" As Edward opened the door, they both stormed into the room, ready for more action and battles.