Especially when he pronounced 'Come' as 'Cam' and replaced the letter 'R' for 'L'.
"Kemi your laugh; your laugh is beautiful. Do you know I do not know what I am even doing with your friend Temi? You are a wife materialistic. I feel like swallowing you now. I want to… I want to.. I want to kiss you."
He pushed his head closer to my face, and pouted his lips towards mine. I pulled backwards but General Abdullahi followed me with his pouted lips relentlessly.
"General wait. Wait." I pressed firmly on his chest.
"Kemi what? What is it. Let us do this thing nau. My body is hot. I am on fire. Do you want an old man like me to die of conji? I want to chop you. Kai." He landed his hand on his bald head.
"General. I will give it to you just the way you want it. But first I need something from you. I need your help. That was why I asked to see you."
"Kemi money is not the problem. I will transfer one million to you to solve any problem you have. Allow me to eat your bush meat Kemi. Allow me." General Abdullahi pushed towards me again.
"No its not about money. Its something different." I pushed his face.
He stopped and pulled back. General Abdullahi heaved a sigh and kept staring at me piercingly.
"Any problem that one million naira cannot solve, that problem needs a miracle."
"Kemi what is bothering you?"
"I was defiled by a guy today. He worth more than one million naira. He is connected too. He once told me that his father is very wealthy.
"Alhaji I do not want to do this, but I will do it if only it will get me the revenge I really want. I am ready to sleep with you if you promise to help me out. Please General. Help me out."
"Defiled? Who defiled you? How did you defile? What do you mean by defile?"
"A man had sex with me without my consent General. He raped me.'
"Rape you? Who is the man to you? How is the man?"
"He is my boyfriend - my fiancee. He had sex with me while I laid on his bed drunk and unconscious last night. He took advantage of me."
I broke into tears while I spoke. I was broken and hurt by the next words I was about to say. I struggled with my words. I struggled to let it out.
"Calm down Kemi. Calm down." General Abdullahi patted me on my back and drew me close.
"After I realised what had happened to me this morning, I drove to my best friends house to seek comfort, only to realise that she has been sleeping with my ex boyfriend too. I saw him coming out of her house."
"Who? Which best friend. You mean Temi? My own Temi?"
"Yes. Your Temi. She has been seeing another man behind your back. She has been dating another man and sleeping with him. That man is my ex boyfriend. The same man that hurt me two years back, and broke my heart into tiny pieces.