Pei Qian never talked for more than necessary at the funeral. Her face was without light and she spotted a black line under her eyes.
She seemed to have lost everything.
She was walking alone the threshold further away from the mountainous graveyard where everyone gathered. She wanted to be alone. Her parents and brother looked anxious and they all walked on eggshells around her, not wanting to upset her.
Many insensitive people came up to offer condolences to her but what use were they when they couldn't bring her fiance back?
Pei Qian had only loved one man in her life and it was Li Junfeng. They met during university briefly and only found out each other's identity at a charity gala for industry leaders a few years back.
They began dating seriously and many others blessed their relationship as a perfect match. They were seen as a swan couple in the lake. They learned the course of love together. They were inseparable. He was her first love.
Maybe because love came too easily for Pei Qian, fate was cruel to her.
She remembered how he was always there for her. He often brought her gifts. He texted her his whereabouts. He called to ask if she was eating fine. He was attentive and more importantly, he was faithful.
So how could she find another man like him?
"Junfeng... I miss you," Pei Qian burst into tears for the nth time again.
Alone by the tree, she crouched down to pour her heart out. Reality seemed to want her to admit that Li Junfeng was really never going to come back.
She often recalled Li Junfeng's gentle expression when he pushed her away from the blasting fire and it made her have nightmares about losing him everytime she went to sleep.
Like she was crazy, she wanted to keep having these nightmares so that she could keep her last memory of him but she knew he wouldn't want that. Even by the end of his breath, he was still smiling gently towards her.
So how could she be willful?
Pei Qian truly loved Li Junfeng, knowing well while others were blessing them in front and envying them at the back.
Sometimes malicious people would say that they were actually just a couple that wouldn't last long, but she really did have feelings for him.
The day that he proposed was the happiest day of her life. She still remembered how he brought her favorite red roses with a diamond ring and walked slowly towards her. With a gentle melody of a violin, her heart screamed yes. She genuinely wanted to build a life with him for the latter part of her lifespan.
She thought they would be happy forever.
They would marry, go on a honeymoon, have children, and bring up a family together in harmony.
"Ms. Pei," a baritone voice snapped her out of her reverie.
Pei Qian saw a man who shared some semblance with Li Junfeng but wasn't him. She immediately covered her face because she had been crying.
Without talking, the man handed over a handkerchief and she awkwardly took it with a thanks. Her face burned red with shame.
She often cried after Li Junfeng's passing but not in front of others!
Knowing she was embarrassed, Li Shaoze didn't say anything. Later when she calmed down, he spoke first.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Li Shaoze,"
Pei Qian took some time to process the name. She seemed to remember this name because Li Junfeng often mentioned him.
"You're... Junfeng's older brother?" she recalled that sometimes Li Junfeng would go abroad to see his brother and he always looked like he was looking forward to it.
She almost misunderstood that he was keeping another woman outside by how genial his expression was.
"He must have mentioned me a few times," Li Shaoze said.
Not a few times, but many times. Pei Qian just nodded.
"Yes. It's nice to meet you, I'm Pei Qian," Pei Qian still didn't forget her upbringing as she introduced herself to him.
Although she looked forlorn, she didn't seem so depressed. She must want to look good in front of outsiders.
"So what brings you here?" she asked. They were quite far from other people so they could talk comfortably.
Pei Qian wasn't really in a mood to talk with others right now but because this man was Li Junfeng's older brother that he held so dear, she must show courtesy.
Li Shaoze was stumped for words because he didn't know how to bring it up. He seemed to be looking to his side a few times before a sigh escaped his lips.
"Junfeng said he's sorry for leaving you behind," alas, Li Shaoze decided to bite the bullet.
"What?" Pei Qian didn't understand.
"He regretted it and said that you should not cry under the quilt again," he continued.
"How do you...?" Pei Qian was shocked. She really did cry under the quilt day and night but no one knew about it. Especially not a stranger like him??
"Well... I can see dead souls and Junfeng's one of them," Li Shaoze admitted as he averted his eyes.
Pei Qian unknowingly gripped her hand tight, and her nails pierced her palm. She finally awoken from the pain but her hand was slightly red.
"Are you being serious right now?" she questioned Li Shaoze. Her eyes were inquisitive but there was no judgmental look from them. Only a repressed anger due to having been possibly lied to.
"I'm not joking. He's here right now," Li Shaoze didn't try too hard to convince her but he knew Li Junfeng must want her to know his existence. On the surface, at least.
"... What is going on?" Pei Qian's voice trembled as she bit her lip.
Li Shaoze sighed as he really didn't want irrelevant people to know his secret but it was unavoidable. He decided to listen to Li Junfeng more than ever this time because he couldn't when Li Junfeng was still alive.
"It's because of this ability that I was shunned by the Li's. I was told to be an abomination and was never acknowledged as a young master of the Li family," Li Shaoze admitted in a flat tone, as if he was telling a story about other people. He thought such reason would make her think twice and consider his words seriously.
Apart from Li Junfeng, Pei Qian was the only person whom he honestly told his secrets to. He felt uncomfortable because they were practically strangers until yesterday but he still believed in his brother's eyes in women.
"If you want to ask me anything, please call me. By the way, he's here right now so I'll leave you two alone," he gave his business card to Pei Qian and silently walked away, like his business here was done.
Li Shaoze looked over Pei Qian again one last time and he came to terms that this was the woman who Li Junfeng chose to love. The woman he was faithful to. The woman he regretted leaving behind.
'They should have been happy together,' he thought it was a shame. Li Junfeng was gone and she was left alone.
Li Shaoze knew how much it hurt because he felt the same when he read the news miles away at the time.
At the very least, she had a family to support her and get back up again. But he had no one. Li Shaoze belatedly realized he was totally alone now. The only person who cared for him was dead.
He pursed his lips together as a sense of bitterness once again assaulted him. Li Shaoze tried not to show too much grief since Li Junfeng was always sticking by his side recently. And this time when Li Junfeng was currently with Pei Qian, he began to take the chance to show a very deprecating smile. A chuckle came out from his mouth that seemed to ridicule himself.
He frowned and his lips was downturn.