I stood in wonder. My entire life there had been something that had seemed impossible, while to most others it was more of an everyday occurrence. That was magic. At the time I would have been trusted to learn some of the spells of my people, I had already had my accident. Magic had been taken from my reach. It hadn't bothered me too much after the accident. I had never tasted magic, so there was no sense of loss. Or in one of the idioms of my people, 'It was like a delicious meal stolen by a Gullus bird before i could take a bite.'
Yet those thoughts were forever part of my past. Because there, above my hand, sticking out of my body, was another hand. This one was less formed and looked more like a dark mist, but it was a hand.
It was magic. I understand that I was only the implement, and Sophia was the caster, but she had explained that although I did not have the mana or control required to cast, she did not have an implement for casting. In this endeavor, she needed me as much as I needed her.
"Sophia, we are casting magic!"
[We are Lark, but it will take practice. For both of us.]
"But Sophia I can *feel* your hand! I can feel you!"
[Yes Lark, but this is about as far as I can go for now. We will have to take it one step at a time. Until I get better at controlling your mana receptors, they require more of my attention. This means I have to divert my attention from other things. Plus I do not have the proficiency with the spell or skill in shadow magic.]
"What does that mean Sophia? I know you help me but can you show me? I wish so dearly to hold both your hands in mine."
[...Alright Lark. I can show you. But only for a moment.]
It was then that a shadowy form began to separate from my body. It was still unclear, but it looked like a beautiful young maiden. It was Sophia.
Within moments of us separating, It was then that I felt it. It was terror, then rage. My vision turned red, and I felt it, a desire to lash out at this world as my understanding started to fade.
As soon as I was sure I would destroy, Sophia retreated back into me. And as soon as she did, a calming wave washed over me. I was at peace and no longer in terror at unfamiliar surroundings I could not understand.
"What was that Sophia?!"
[I am sorry you had to feel that Lark. If I extend my control over my shadowy body too far, I lose my ability to help you maintain your emotions and your ability to function at a higher level of understanding.]
"So will I never be able to hold you?"
[Oh Lark, fret not. We just need practice. In time you will be able to hold my hands, and I will be able to hold you as you sleep.]
"How does magic work? And what did you mean about proficiency and skill?"
[Well Lark, as you know from your lessons on your system, the things we are able to do all fall under a requisite skill. When you swing your axe, how well is determined by your [One Handed] skill. When you fire your Rifle, it is determined by your [Marksman] skill. You are skilled with the Axe and the rifle though, not the sword or scattergun, so when we go to your [spells and expertise] section, we see that you are highly proficient in [Axe Expertise] and [Rifle Expertise].
Magic works the same way.
The spell we are casting is an advanced spell called [Shadow Clone]. The spell falls under the [Dark] Magic Archetype, which is on the skills section of your system.]
"But Sophia, you know the spell and have a large pool of Mana. Why is it so difficult for us?"
[Lark, [Shadow Clone] is the first spell I learned in the [Dark] Magic Archetype. And it is a very powerful spell that gives me control of a physical entity made from dark magic, not an incorporeal shadow. Although it is hard to control and very amorphous in its form, that will not always be true.
And like all spells and expertises the more I use the spell [shadow clone], the higher expertise I will have. This will lead to a shadow that has a more defined form, and physical manifestation.
And like all skills, the more I use the spell, the parent skill of the [Dark] Magic Archetype will improve, which will increase how much time I can keep the shadow out, and how far away I can be before it negatively affects you.]
"I think I understand. Is there anything I can do to help?"
[Well Lark, I am the one that has to focus on the casting, but it is hard with your thoughts and emotions so jumbled. We can ask about a skill to calm your emotions. I think there might be one in your class, so that would be even better.]
"Alright. I think we can do that tomorrow. But it is getting close to bedtime."
[If it's time for bed would you like me to tell you a story? I can tell you about the early tales of our Lord Serin, or maybe about some of the Skygge heroes from your own culture.]
"Sophia, I want to understand more about you. I want to know how you and I came to be. My memories are fractured, and even thinking back I cannot recall many of the things said, and I feel there is something missing. Can you tell me a story about yourself?"
***
Telling Lark a story was a way for me to help him learn to naturally regulate his sleep pattern. Because of the massive reconfiguration of his brain, I had to put in a lot of work to better create a routine for his mind.
I enjoyed the stories I told him, and I enjoyed that I could feel such warmth coming form him as he listened to my words. I usually made sure to ease him into sleep as I did so. But with his story request, I had to be careful.
I had been hiding a lot of the truth from Lark. Lark could understand now. He would fully understand if I explained what I was to him. But I was afraid. We had already caused a Lancer Gole to die once due to rejection. Even though he was brought back, the experience was enough that he still required counseling.
[I cannot tell you about myself, Lark. Not yet.] Sensing his disappointment, I was ready. [But I can tell you a story about us.]
[Not technically about us, but it is a fairytale that I know.]
In truth, it was a story I had made up. But it should help his understanding.
[Once upon a time, there was a giant who was very lonely.]
"Why was he lonely?"
[He was lonely because he was too big and strong, so he was no good at playing with Others. So each day as all the other people laughed and played, the giant spend his time, sitting near a cave.
Many days pass and one day the giant hears something from the cave. It is a Voice. She talks with the giant and is happy to have someone there. The giant explains that he is too strong and might hurt her, which is why he is shunned by the village. The voice tells the giant that he cant hurt her with his strength, because she does not have a body. However because of this she has to live in the cave, as the wind might carry her away to be lost forever.
The Giant then made a deal. 'I can give you my shadow and then you can leave the cave.' The voice was very happy about this.
The Giant was happy to have a friend. They learned to laugh and play together, and soon enough the giant learned to be gentle with his new shadow.
The shadow and the giant, being seen playing together were at first treated warily by the village, but soon enough they were invited to come dance and play.
So just as the Giant could protect the Shadow from the wind, so too the Shadow had taught the Giant to live with his own.
And together they lived happily ever after. The End]
I was aware it wasn't the best story, but it was hopefully enough to make Lark understand. Even inside.
When I checked on him, I guess I hadn't noticed, but he was asleep. He had fallen asleep holding the shadow.
No, I realized with a bit of joy, he had fallen asleep holding my hand.
***